What is love? Is love just showing affection by making out and holding hands or is it something more? Could love be a feeling you have when you look into the eyes of someone that makes your heart flutter and you can’t go a second without thinking about? I wasn’t familiar with love. Growing up, all I could see was an alcoholic father that was hardly ever home and when he was he would sit around and drink beer all day while yelling and hitting my mother. I already knew my mother looked that that wasn’t what love really was. Her mascara mixed with the salty tears that ran down her face along with the marks he would leave on her that day. I only hoped that one day I could find a love like they show on television but I also wouldn’t mind living the rest of my life alone either.
My friend Lana had decided that a twenty-four-year-old woman that had never had a boyfriend a day in her life needed to get serious about the dating game. She hooked me up on a blind date with her cousin Slade. I went along with it just to shut her up about my dating life.
I walked over to my closet to pick out a plum-colored tunic and my light colored faded boyfriend jeans and threw my hair up into a messy bun. I didn’t want to put too much thought into this whole going on a date thing. I have been on a few random dates before but they had never worked out...not that I even wanted them to.
I walked down the spiral staircase through the mudroom toward the door when there was a knock. I opened the door to see Slade dressed in a white-collared button-up shirt with some khaki pants and a belt looped through. He extended his right arm to show a bouquet of red roses. I took them from him as I shut the door behind me.
“You look beautiful” he exclaimed as he opened the door to let me inside of his Toyota Camry.
“Thank you” I responded as he shut the door behind me and walked around to the drivers’ side of the car.
The ride to the restaurant was met with an awkward silence. I have always been a shy person, and it had seemed that Slade was too. I wasn’t sure how a date could work if there wasn’t any conversing.
When we arrived, we walked into this restaurant that looked fancy and played soft slow music. We looked at the menu and ordered our food and drinks. I kept my face down a little until I could feel someone staring at me. When I raised my head up I could see Slade’s bright green eyes staring into my face. That’s when everything felt even more awkward.
“So what are your hobbies?” He asked as the waiter brought our food to us and exchanged looks between his steak and me.
“I um-I love gardening and I also enjoy reading and writing,” I responded between taking bites of my chicken salad.
“What do you do for work?” He questioned as he was gulping down his food with as much force as his body would allow.
“I am finishing my last semester at college for journalism and will be working after graduation with the local news station as a news anchor,” I answered as I kept thinking about how awkward this whole date was.
Without me asking him questions to get to know him better he rambled on about how he always wanted to be an actor but was too shy to even try to make it happen. He told me his whole life story and then told me he went to college but then dropped out. He even mentioned that his dad passed away, and he gained ownership of his father’s car dealership.
I just sat and listened until he paid the bill and was ready to leave. On the ride back to my house he rambled on about how beautiful I was and that he was glad I went on this date that Lana set up for us and he even mentioned that he wanted to go on another date sometime.
After he opened the door for me, I turned around to walk up the walkway to my front door and he pressed his lips to mine and put his hands on my ass.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I screamed as I pushed him away from me and ran inside. I slammed the door shut behind me.
I did not understand what he was doing and why he acted that way but I didn’t want to think any more of it. I felt violated and dirty so I ran up the stairs and stripped my clothes off before sinking into a hot bubble bath.