I slept badly, tossing and turning the whole night. I got up from the bed very early and went to the shower. I got dressed after and snuck out of our room before Lily had a chance to ask me anything. I was the first to arrive at my classes. I wasn’t bothered by it. I used my studies as a way to distract myself from my thoughts about Drew.
Before lunch, I was so caught up in my torment, so I mindlessly walked to the cafeteria. Kate and Lily asked me to come there to have lunch with them. I was looking at my phone, waiting for Kate’s reply, when I bumped into someone. I looked up and froze. Of all the people from our college, it has to be her. Melanie. She wasn’t alone. With her was one of her friends, a tall and slim brown-haired girl. She was cute, but in comparison to Melanie, she was plain.
“Could you please look where you’re going? I almost tripped over.”
“I am sorry.”
“Oh, you could talk. Nice!” Melanie placed her hands on her hips and was staring at me mockingly. Her friend was silent. I was sure that I would forget even her face, as soon as I walk away from them.
“Mel, stop it.” I heard a voice behind my back and immediately recognized it. It was Logan. He walked past me, Drew was following him. He didn’t even acknowledge me. Fucking perfect! My day was becoming better and better at every moment. Logan stopped before Mel and whispered something in her ear. She threw me a glance, turned around on her heels, and walked in the cafeteria. I saw her friend catching up with Drew. She was all smiling and flirting. I saw him grinning at her, without even a word to me, he walked with this girl inside the cafeteria. Now here were only Logan and me. He turned around and looked at me. I hardly looked at him.
“Becca... I’m sorry for Mel. She might be...”
“Why are you apologizing for her? She was the one insulting me. Not only today, but every chance she gets.” We stared at each other. I couldn’t continue like that. “If you will see Lily and Kate there, tell them that I don’t feel well. I will go to the dorm. I have plenty of things to do.” I didn’t wait for his answer. I turned around and walked away.
When I was in my room, I decided to finish my studies. The decision was forming in my head. I won’t go to the game. I wouldn’t have gone to the party either, but Kate and Lily made me promise to go with them. Me and my big mouth. When I was free, it was only 5 in the evening. I decided to take a nap. I didn’t even hear when Lily returned to the room. When I woke up, it was past nine already—no messages or calls from Drew. I guess our story ended here.
“Hey, sleepyhead. How are you? Logan told us that you don’t feel well... And here I am, found you sleeping.”
“I am better now, much better.” Yeah, except that my heart hurt.
“No date tonight?” She smiled at me.
“Is everything okay? Are you sure? I didn’t hear you coming back yesterday, and when I woke up, you already left.”
“Everything is perfect. I am just tired, that’s all. Do I need to go to the party with you?” I decided to give it a shot. Maybe I will skip the party too.
“Do I need to call Kate?”
“Fuck... This is ridiculous. I don’t want to go there.”
“You promised. We had a deal. Or do you want me to call Kate and tell her about your mysterious dates?”
“Too much cursing, Rebecca. It doesn’t suit you.”
My phone buzzed. I looked at it and felt confused. I was sure that he wouldn’t contact me today. But no, here he was. He was waiting for me to come. I closed my eyes. What should I do?
“Go, Becca. You need it. I can feel it. Maybe this guy will be able to cheer you up.”
I had big doubts about my decision to go and to see Drew, but still, I got up and changed. I chose my deep red hoodie and black jeans, pairing them with my Adidas sneakers. My hair was in a mess after my sleep, so I just made the high ponytail. This will do. After how he acted with me today, that’s what he deserves. In 10 minutes, I was in Drew’s car. He was the one who initiated our small talk today, without saying a word about what happened before the cafeteria.
Drew parked the car in a secluded area. He stepped outside, picked two cups of coffee and box with donuts from the backseat, and walked to the front of the car. He placed cups and a box on the hood of the car, leaning his back on it. I sat inside the vehicle, observing him. He saw my uneasiness. He was giving me time to come without forcing me to do so. It was already 5 minutes when my phone buzzed.
“Are u planning to sit in the car the whole evening?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“These donuts are pretty delicious. And the coffee will be cold soon.” I sighed, placed the phone in my pocket, and exited the car. I walked to the hood and stood beside Drew, leaning my back on it from the other side.
“I started thinking that you won’t come out of my car.”
“It was the plan.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“Honestly? I don’t have any idea. The only reason why I am here is Lily. She told me that I needed the fresh air. Where are we, by the way?”
“It’s my place. I found it in my first year there. It gives quite a view, though. You could see the whole city from there. It’s the highest spot in the town.”
“Uh huh.” That’s all that I said. I was staring in the distance. I saw the lights of the city: small houses in the living area, shops, and restaurants on the main streets, our college. I looked up at the sky and saw a scattering of stars.
“Becca, seriously... Drink this. I bought you a latte. You told me once that it’s your favorite.”
“Thanks.” I took a cup he was offering me and made a sip. The coffee was just as I loved it. I also was happy to hear that he remembered something about me.
“Listen... About today...”
“What?” I looked at him, holding his gaze. I wasn’t going to back away. I wanted answers.
“I acted like a jerk... I didn’t even say “hello” to you... I am very sorry about it. It’s just... It’s hard for me to explain.”
“Try it. You might be surprised.”
“No, Becca... I can’t. At least not now.”
“Not now? Who am I for you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Hell... I should have stayed in my room. We’re wasting our time here. In two days it will be the game. You need your strength there. Let’s call it a night.”
“I don’t want you to leave this soon.”
“I wanted to spend my time with you. I wanted to talk.”
“Funny way of showing it.”
“Please, Rebecca... Don’t do it... This game is too important for our team; all of our emotions are high. It’s a fucking rollercoaster! After practice my every muscle is sore. I want to soak in the bathtub for hours. I want to sleep, but I can’t... I fucking can’t! You’re constantly on my mind. You’re everywhere. I could smell your perfume in my car, today I was sitting on the bench in the locker room and smiled like an idiot, remembering our time... Fuck, you’re screwing my mind, Rebecca...”
“Oh... I am sorry... But do you think that you’re the only one? I couldn’t concentrate on my studies because of you. I was waiting for you to come to me... Screw you, Drew!” I turned around and was ready to run away from him. He caught me and wrapped me in his arms. He turned me around, holding me tight. I closed my eyes and pressed my head to his chest, wrapping my arms around his torso. Smelling so familiar scent. I felt safe in an instant.
“I am sorry... I am so sorry, babe... Let’s just stay there for a while. Let’s talk. What do you want to talk about? Tell me about your childhood. Or about your ex, if you feel like talking. What happened?”
“Do you want me to talk about Rob?”
“No. I know everything that I need to know about this guy from your class. I was asking about your boyfriend from high school. He hurt you, did he?”
“Oh, hell...” I buried my face in the hollow of his neck.
“Hey, hey, look at me, babe... I am here to listen, not to judge. But only if you’re ready.” I looked up at him, and he immediately placed his lips on mine, kissing me softly, savoring every moment of it. I was lost, and he found me. So I told him everything about how Adam started to pay attention to me, how he persuaded me to give him a chance. How happy I was with him. I didn’t hide any detail from Drew, and I even told him how Adam explained his unfaithfulness to me. That I wasn’t enough for him, that I didn’t satisfy him in bed. When I finished, Drew gave me a long solemn look.
“Yeah... You were right... Your ex is not the smartest guy in the world. I would go further and tell you that the problem wasn’t with you... It was him. You didn’t satisfy men in bed? It seems like a joke to me... You’re amazing! I know what I am talking about. I know a lot of girls. It’s his loss. I am sure. He already knows that.”
“You know, next time, when you will be talking to a girl to reassure her. Do not tell her that you had plenty of girls before her.”
“Shoot.” We were sitting in his car in the backseat, my head was pressed to his chest, so I almost laid here in his arms. We talked this time almost for 2 hours until I saw him yawning.
“Drew, we need to go back to the campus. You need to sleep.”
“We could spend the night here. I won’t be able to see you tomorrow.”
“It’s okay. We will see each other at the party.”
Drew looked me over. He saw that I made a decision and wasn’t going to change my mind about it. He sighed. But only 1 hour after I was back in my room. He didn’t want to let me go, kissing and caressing me until I was short of breath. I felt better, but his refusal to talk to me about our relationship was hanging over my head. I saw him in the morning at the college, I thought that he at least will smile at me, but he only nodded. He was with Logan and Melanie by his side, and this brown-haired girl was with them again.
I guess this helped me to finally decide what I was going to do about the game and the party.