Lily, Drew and I entered the restaurant, it was a small and cozy place. I could easily see Drew and I on a date here. Fucking hell! I needed to snap out of it! I was nothing to him, nothing special at least. We sat at the table near the window. The waitress brought us the menu, she even suggested some dishes to us, but I noticed how she smiled at Drew. She was flirting with him, and he flirted back. Lily acted casually, trying to ease the atmosphere because she saw my reaction. I stared at the menu, trying to find something light and easy to swallow. Lily placed her hand on mine, attracting my attention.
“Becca, are you ready to make an order?”
“Yeah, I want this salad and water. Thank you.” I smiled at the waitress. It wasn’t her fault that Drew was too handsome, and he was single, as I reminded this to myself. He didn’t have any commitments to me. I wasn’t his girlfriend. Right now, I even felt like a roommate of his friend from childhood.
“Just salad? You didn’t eat anything since last night. Are you sure?” Drew looked at me.
“Yep, I am okay. That’s what I want.”
Drew and Lily also made their orders, and the waitress finally left us. I stared out of the window. Lily made some small talk and also fell silent, eventually. Drew’s phone started to ring.
“It’s your brother. I guess he finally sobered up.” Drew answered. “Hey... Yeah... I am with your sister and her roommate... We’re having lunch... Why?” He frowned and stood up, he walked out of the restaurant and stood there talking.
“Becca, are you alright?” Lily looked at me with concern. I turned my attention to her.
“Yeah. Just my head hurts. I didn’t sleep well and studied the whole morning. So...” I trailed off.
“Rebecca, did you sleep with Drew yesterday?” Lily stared me right in the eyes. She was serious, her eyebrow furrowed.
“Yes. Why?” My headache started to take the best of me. I didn’t feel like lying, so I just told the truth.
“Shit... Becca... Now I am glad that I came here with you. I was worried that it was a bad idea that I should have stayed in the dorm, but now I’m glad.”
“Why?” My heart started to beat faster. I was afraid of her answer. I could tell it won’t be good.
“Because of this...” She spread her hands as she told the answer to me. “This is his way to say, “Thank you for sex and bye.” It’s always like that with Drew. He has sex with you and then takes you to the restaurant or café, showing you his gratitude. Then he says, “Bye” and you just know that it was “Goodbye” in fact.”
The waitress brought my salad, but I was sure that I couldn’t eat it. I stared at Lily. What was I expecting? That he will suddenly change? That he cares about me? That I was more to him than his other hook-ups? Why? Just because he was spending the whole week in my company? Because he opened up to me a little? Shit, I was so stupid! Because it was precisely the case. I got attached to Drew. The realization that I had feelings for Drew Milton was big enough, but my expectations about us were huge. And now it was blowing me in the face. In the ugliest way in the world. I let myself think, that our time together, our talks after his practices, our lovemaking meant something to him. Pathetic!
“It was like that with you?” I almost spat it to her face. I saw her cheeks going red. I was right.
“Fine! Yes, we had sex. Once. After it, he took me to the nice café in our hometown... He even gave me the long speech, that the deal wasn’t in me, that it’s him. He didn’t do relationships. He apologized, and that’s all. Our story ended. There weren’t any hard feelings between us after it. But I saw how you look at him. You couldn’t sleep with a guy and didn’t feel anything to him. I just don’t get it... You aren’t the type to like the guy from the first hook up... I was sure that you need to know the guy first, but it’s impossible to do...”
“Hey, why do you just sit there? Becca, you need to eat.” Drew returned to our table, and the waitress was already there with his and Lily’s orders. It looked like she was waiting for him to return to the restaurant.
I tried to eat, forcing myself to swallow. Drew was explaining something to Lily about Logan, and surprisingly, it was the first time when I didn’t give a fuck about Logan’s whereabouts. They tried to include me in their conversation, but after I spaced out a few times, they gave up. After 20 agonizing minutes, our lunch was over. Drew called the waitress to our table. He was going to pay for us all. I was prepared not to let him do that. My wallet was in my hands, and I handed my 20 bucks to the waitress. Drew cursed, but I didn’t care about it. I wanted to get out of this place.
Lily stood up, and I followed her. We walked out, as Drew stayed behind, he was waiting for the change. I glanced back and regretted it immediately. He was writing down to his phone something. The waitress was beaming near him while I wanted to vomit. I was sure that she gave him her number, perhaps he asked about it. I was in deep shit, and this feeling hurt me. Finally, he walked out to the street. He was studying me, and I averted my eyes. The happiness that I felt this morning disappeared and was replaced by sorrow. I also was angry at myself.
“So, let’s go. I will drop you at the dormitory.”
“I prefer to walk back. Thank you. I never knew that somewhere near our dormitory was a place like this. So thanks again, Drew. Lil, I will see you at the dorm.” I waved at their stunned faces and walked away. It was good thinking that I remembered the way to our dormitory. I wasn’t crying, even if I wanted it and badly. It was all my fault. I let myself think that something might work between Drew and me. That maybe, I will be an exception, and he will want to have a relationship with me. It was never bound to happen. I should have understood it as soon as he ignored my question about us and his father’s approval. And especially after I saw him with this girl, Phoebe. She was in his arms the moment after I wasn’t near. Pathetic! I called my dad and talked to him, distracting myself from my gloomy thoughts.
“Honey, are you okay? You sound like something on your mind.”
“Dad, I am okay. I am just homesick, I guess. Especially after these weekends.”
“If you say so. You know that we love you so much and always happy to have you home.”
“I know, dad. I love you too.” I came closer to our dorm and ended the conversation. As I was almost at the door, I heard my name. Drew was waiting for me.
“Becca, what’s going on? Why did you act so strange?”
“It’s nothing, Drew. Really. I just had a huge headache because of a lack of sleep and hunger. I ate, and I feel a little better now, but...”
“You barely ate.”
“I told you. My head hurts. I am planning to go to my room and will try to sleep.” I stepped away from him and reached the doorknob.
“Drew, I get it. Lily explained everything to me. Right now, I just want to go to my room and sleep.”
“What are you talking about?” He sounded annoyed.
“Nothing. I hope that the waitress will be worthy of your time.” Drew furrowed his eyebrows, folding his arms before his chest.
“Becca, I never promised you anything. I thought we both knew what we were doing. We had fun. Without any obligations. I am sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”
“Nah. You’re right. Drew, I am sorry. I just... My head hurts, and I am tired. I want to take a pill and get some sleep.”
Drew stepped closer to me. He was hesitating. He didn’t know what to do. Then he sighed and wrapped me in his arms. I was confused. I didn’t understand anything. But I acted on my instincts and hugged him back, wrapping my arms around his waist. I liked this, and I liked him and his musky scent. I wanted to stay like that as long as I could. Drew kissed my forehead, my nose, and then my lips. The kisses were light, but they were tender. They showed that he cared about me. I didn’t know what it means. Was there any hope that he likes me more than just for sex? Right now, I refused to think about it. We stayed like that for some time, neither of us was ready to let go. Until my phone started to vibrate. I sighed and stepped away from Drew. It was from Kate.
“Where are you?”
“Hello to you, too.”
“Hey. Where are you?”
“I will be in my room in 5 minutes. I am planning to catch some sleep.”
“Rebecca, are you or are you not just were snuggled to Drew Milton?”
“Nina and her friend saw you as they walked back to the dorm. She said he was hugging you, and you were hugging him back.”
“Come to my room. I will be there, and we will talk.”
Drew took my phone from my hand and pressed it to his ear.
“Kate? It’s Drew. Yeah... Let her sleep. She needs it, and I mean it... Good... I will walk her to her room and will stay with her in case you don’t think that I am serious. Good... Bye.”
He handed me my phone and smiled at me. I smiled back at him and leaned to kiss him—just peck, but how good it felt. God, I was digging myself deeper and deeper. I waved at him and went to the dorm. Lily wasn’t in the room. As I found out later, she was with Kate. They really gave me time to sleep.