“Yes and no at the same time. Listen, Drew, I know that I am acting like a child. You were honest with me, you never promised anything to me. It was only sex for you, and I get it. It’s just... I thought, that I could handle it. After our sex at the dorm, I was okay. Yeah, it was never like that with any guy in my life, but since I only had one cheating boyfriend... Shit, I am saying too much... Well, after we continued to see each other I started to like you, but I wasn’t delusional or something. You had the reputation, you know, that you’re not dating type, you don't do relationships. But when you approached me at the party and how you acted there... Hell, I thought that maybe I caught your eyes and maybe it won’t be only sex between us... You opened up to me, you know that...” I made a deep breath. It was harder now since I was going to admit my feelings to him.
“You have no idea, how I was surprised when you showed up at the dorm the morning after and how happy I was because of it. You kissed me, remember? And it was so not like our other kisses, it was full of tenderness and I think that’s exactly, what made me believe, that you felt something for me. But then Lily came and you changed back to your normal self like you were acting with me at the college. Like I wasn't existing in the daylight, but in the evening I was all yours... You didn’t give a damn about me after Lil’s appearance, you didn’t talk to me and flirted in front of me with this waitress, you even noted down her number... The realization that I liked you much more than I thought hit me hard... It was the way to nowhere, but I still couldn’t do anything about it. That’s why I left you and Lily after lunch... I needed to clear my mind. I convinced myself, that I was only a hookup for you and I shouldn’t have any hopes about you... And then you showed up at the dorm, waiting for me and again...You gave me hope, Drew! It wasn’t fair...”
“No, let me finish, okay? I kept it for myself for too long... I thought that you cared about me, that you needed time to accept it and soon you will reach out for me, will try to contact me. But you didn’t. I waited like a fool, having my hopes about us... Then there was that bonfire party, I didn’t know that you’re dating with Phoebe already, I thought that she was your girl for the night. But seeing you with her hurt me like hell. I was jealous and vulnerable. And then Kate blurted out to me, that you were a couple with Phoebe... That you started dating with her just after you left me at the dorm... How was I feeling? Like a stupid girl, who slept with a guy without any obligations and managed to fall for him. Shit! After I found out the truth about your relationship with Phoebe, I had sex with one guy from my hometown... He’s older than me, he was gentle and I felt desirable in his arms. But he wasn’t you. So, yes, Drew... It’s hurting me to see you together with her... Hell, I can’t even look at you! It’s hard, but I am trying. Give me some time and I will leave you out of my drama... I will be able to look at you without feeling anything and I am sure, I will be laughing from my stupidity with time. But now, there is nothing that I want more than to be able to let it go... I am bothering you. I am nothing to you because I will never be enough apparently... It’s hard to swallow, you know...”
“Becca, I... You’re wrong, you know... You’re the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on... And do you really think that my sex always as it was between us? Bullshit! I’ve never wanted anyone more than you...”
The door to my room opened wide. Logan stood in the doorframe, his eyebrows were furrowed, lips curled into a thin line. Drew cursed. He stood up from the bed and made a step to the door.
“What the hell? Your girlfriend is worried about you. I volunteered to find you because if it was her, who opened this damn door, I am afraid the consequences will be much different.”
“What if I don’t care?”
“Then why you brought her there? If you like Becca, you should be honest about it!”
“Yeah, just like you. You’re the most honest man in the world.”
“What does it mean?”
“Just saying, if you like Becca, you should be honest about it.”
I gasped. Drew and Logan were looking at each other. They both were furious. I really didn’t know what to do about it.
“Logan? Drew? What are you doing here?” Missis Jones came to my room. “I think it will be best if you both will leave Becca alone. Besides, there are your girls downstairs... They might have misunderstood this whole situation.”
Without saying anything, Logan turned around and rushed to the stairs. Drew smiled at Missis Jones and left my room calmly, straightening his shoulders and holding his head high. She waited for him to disappear down the stairs, only then she turned her attention to me.
“Well, I must say, that I had my suspicions about why you were so upset... Lily told us about you earlier and I wasn’t expecting you acting as you did after your arrival at this house. Rebecca, my son and Drew were friends for a long time and honestly, it’s the first time, when they like the same girl. I especially surprised about Logan... I was sure that he loves Melanie. But now... I just want to warn you, that you need to know what you are doing... If they will need to choose, they won’t abandon their friendship for the girl.”
“It was never my intention. Besides, they are both taken and...”
“Rebecca.” She cut me off immediately. “Maybe my son will stay with Melanie, they are together more than a year, but Drew... I know the guy since his childhood. How he looks at you, well, let’s just say that it’s absolutely unusual for him. Drew isn’t so discreet as he thinks he is, he’s staring at you for too long, forgetting about his surroundings. He’s a player on the field and in life. But maybe... He just waited for someone like you. I am not a seer, but I am sure that at the end of the winter break things will change. Call it the women intuition, or even mom’s intuition. But don’t get involved with the two of them.”
With that, she turned around and closed my door in my stunned face. I was sitting on my bed in complete dumbstruck. What has happened there was absolutely insane. Did Drew really mean what he was saying? Then why was he with Phoebe? Fucking hell! And Logan... He was angry because of Drew’s presence in my room. How long he was behind the door? How much had he heard? I fell on my back and closed my eyes. I was upset and nervous when I arrived here, now I was completely confused.
I almost drifted to sleep, when my door opened again. It was Kate. She quietly closed the door and tiptoed to my bed. She curled under my blanket, placing her hand on my cheek. I opened my eyes and whispered to her.
“What is it, Kitty Kate?”
“Did I wake you up?”
“Sorry, babe... I couldn’t sleep... Was Drew in your room?”
“Oh god, stop yelling... You will wake the whole house!” I hissed at her and turned to lie on my back.
“Sorry... He said he was going to use a bathroom and disappeared almost for twenty minutes. Phoebe had started to freak out. She was worried about him, though... But I honestly think that she was thinking what I was thinking. That he was with you... Apparently, Logan thought the same... Because when Phoebe asked again, where could be Drew, he said that he’ll go and find him. They were back 10 minutes after, but both were tense and Logan was more like annoyed. I saw Missis Jones who also went upstairs, following Logan. Then she was back soon after Logan and Drew’s return... I was certain that she found them both in your room.”
“Something like that, yeah...” I yawned.
“Becca, give me something more specific. What happened between you and Drew there?”
“Nothing. We talked. Mostly it was I. He didn’t have time to say more, as Logan showed up.”
“Logan looked pissed. He quickly covered it, but I saw it and Melanie did too.”
“Well... I am afraid he was listening to my conversation with Drew... or he was pissed because Drew asked him to admit, that he likes me...”
“What? But that’s... Oh my god, Becca...”
“Yeah... Tell me about it. Then Missis Jones showed up and kicked them out of my room... She asked me not to be involved with both of them. Because in the end, it will be me, who will be hurt. They will always choose each other.”
“Well said... But I don’t know what to think... Drew admitted that he likes me, but then I don’t get it. Why did he start dating Phoebe? And Logan? He had not any right to be upset about Drew and me and still... Kate, tomorrow will be the new day and I will try to think about it again... Or not to think at all. But I want to sleep, honestly.”
“Can I stay?”
“Can I make you leave?”
“Then you know the answer. Night, Kate!”