Logan stopped, untangled himself from Melanie’s grip, and returned to us. Drew placed his hand on small of Melanie’s back and the other one on small of his girl’s back and walked them away from us.
“Lil, drop it. You know Melanie. She’s always like that.” He looked at his sister with a plead; it was obvious he was uncomfortable.
“Yeah, I am aware that your beloved girlfriend is a bitch. But today, she just reached the next level in her hatred.”
“It’s okay, Lily. You know what? I don’t feel well, and I will go to our room. See you both later?” I got up and tried to walk away. Logan caught my arm and stopped me. Definitely, now I wanted to slap him.
“Stay. I will go.” I refused to look at him and yanked my arm from his grip. Without any word, I sat back to the table.
“Where are my pancakes? I ordered them a long time ago.”
Nor Lily, nor Kate hadn’t said a word. Lily looked at her brother, and after a minute, I heard Melanie’s voice. He returned to her. Kate was studying me. I smiled at her and then finally the waitress came with our orders. We ate in silence and left the diner shortly after we were finished. In the car, we chatted about some silly stuff just to fill the atmosphere. I thought back to meeting with Logan. He was so damn confusing! I couldn’t deal with it, with emotions he was giving me. I needed to stay focused on my studies. I guess that in the end, my only option will be to ignore him. It will save my heart and my mind. I will be a good friend to Lily, but not to her big brother.
He didn’t stop Melanie from harassing me. He didn’t tell her that she was wrong. His silence made perfect sense. Maybe he felt some attraction to me. Of course, he felt the other way he wouldn’t come on to me in the bathroom as he did. But she was his girlfriend. He loved her. So I needed to let it go. And I did.
If I say, that I didn’t know or hear anything about Logan and his friends, I will be lying. He was everywhere, and so were his closest friends – Drew Milton and Tim Wallace. They all played football; they all were stars in the team and public favorites. Logan was known as a kind and loyal guy; he was smart and had good grades. Also, he was always with Melanie. Some girls tried to break them apart, but they weren’t successful. He never cheated. Until me, I guess. It hadn’t made me feel special. I felt dirty and hurt.
Drew, on the other hand, was a player, he didn’t date anyone, but I heard rumors that he had a new girl at every party. He had the reputation of a womanizer and was perfectly fine with it. Girls loved him. They wanted to sleep with him, even if it meant only one-night stand. I was a witness of one girl’s talk with her friends; she called Drew the God of Sex. Maybe, but I won’t intend to know this by myself. He might be beautiful and hot, but I wanted a relationship in the future and not a one-time fling.
Tim was a mystery to me. He had been known as a smart and witty guy; sometimes, he looked like jester among his friends. But he got Kate hooked, and I wanted to know him better. He was the only one of this trinity, with whom I wanted to make friends.
My firsts two months in college were a total whirlwind. I studied harder than I ever did before. It was all new to me, but at the same time, I was excited to know more. English literature was my number one priority when I first thought about going to college. And I made it. I didn’t know now what I want to do when I graduate, but still, I liked being here, receiving new pieces of knowledge. I was busying myself with my studies, so I didn’t have much time to think about Logan Jones and any drama surrounding him.
Surprisingly, it was too easy to avoid meeting him at the campus. Of course, I saw him and his friends in the hallways, but I was sure that they didn’t see me. That’s what was a matter to me. We were on different courses, with different majors. But still, he was my roommate’s brother. During this time, Lily and I became close, well, it was three of us actually as Kate tagged to our group every time. I explained to Lily that after what Melanie said about me, I was feeling uncomfortable around her and Logan. She seemed to understand, so she always had been giving me warnings when he wanted to see her. I was out of our room at these times and started to feel myself more and more at peace. I didn’t want to pretend around him, so it was more comfortable this way. I guess it was like that for both of us after our moment at the fraternity house.
Lily and Kate went for several parties, but I never joined them. I made excuses, they tried to persuade me, but eventually, they gave up. When they were at the parties, I was staying in Kate’s room. Her roommate, Nina, was a really nice and smart girl. She was nerdy but in a cute way. I liked her, and I guess because of me, she and Kate were able to find common ground.
My life was getting back on its track, and I was happy about it. These first three days took too much from me. I was scared because I never felt something so strong to the guy I’ve only met. I didn’t like the feeling, but I was aware that it will still be there. But I needed to remember that Logan was in a relationship with Melanie. I didn’t even understand what it was between us and especially what I was to him. I was reminding this to myself over and over again. It was working. Because when one of my classmates, a guy named Rob, came to me and started chatting with me, I get the feeling that I enjoyed his attention. A short time after that, he became my study partner. Rob was a sweet, kind, and trustworthy guy. I liked to be with him, to have the opportunity to talk to a cute guy without feeling intimidated by someone’s presence. He wasn’t confusing, and he gave me much-needed comfort. So when he invited me to have dinner with him, I agreed without hesitation. Rob was exactly what I needed for now.
After our second date, we kissed. It was good. It didn’t leave me speechless or didn’t give me any tingles. But I convinced myself that it’s what I want and most importantly need. Kate was telling me that Rob was annoying, I argued with her and a lot, so she just dropped this subject and I was grateful for that.
Time was nearer to the first game of the season, to the first home-game actually. Everyone in the college was talking about it, about their expectations and our star-quarterback and his squad. Ugh, these days, Logan was everywhere, but I was happy that I still was managing to avoid him.
The party at the fraternity house was announced to be the last before the game. The game was assigned on the next Saturday. Meantime the next party was already planned after our team’s win. That our team would win wasn’t even for discussion. It was a fact.
At the end of the second month, we were together with Rob for almost three weeks, so I decided it was time for the next level in our relationship. I wanted to have sex with him. I wanted to be fucked. So I let it happen when Kate and Lily went to the fraternity house for this “last before the game” party. Rob was snoring right beside me in my bed, while I was lying wide awake. Sex was fast and kind of static. Rob was a caring type of guy, but in the bed, it was like he didn’t know what to do. I didn’t feel nor anticipation, nor passion and even nor release. He didn’t also ask me about the protection, I was on a pill, and there was no need for the condom, but still. He was careless and inattentive to my mood. He cummed not so long after we started our act of love, collapsing on to me, panting and kissing my neck. I caressed him mindlessly, even if I wanted to cry my eyes out.
I started to think that my relationship with Rob was a huge mistake. He was a good friend to me, but an absolutely unsuitable boyfriend. I didn’t click with him. Hell, I clicked with Logan the first second our eyes met. Why did I need to think about the asshole in times like that? Shit, it was because he still was there, in my mind, and my thoughts. I glanced at my bedside table; it was already 2 am. Fuck! I didn’t get any sleep at all, and right now, I needed to wake Rob up. Girls will probably be back around 4 am, so I wanted him out of their sight. Because if they ask me about sex with Rob, I won’t be able to hide the truth from them.
“Hey, Rob... Open your eyes. You need to get going already.” I nudged his shoulder lightly.
“Becca... I want to stay.” Rob groaned and tried to kiss me. I rolled from the bed and now was standing only in my panties.
“Seriously, move. I was warning you about it. Lily and Kate always stayed in this room, and they will come back from this stupid party. And soon.” I wore my jean shorts and a white t-shirt. Since it was the night, I didn’t care what I was wearing.
He was angry. I was thinking about what to do with our relationship. He was my friend, and I didn’t want to lose him. In a few minutes, I was walking him out of our dormitory. As most of the people were at the party, I was able to sneak him in and out without a problem. I stayed with him for a little longer. He pressed me to his car, and we kissed. He tried to ignite passion in me, but I felt numb. I answered to his caress with laziness. I was sick to my stomach because I was disgusted with myself.
With my lateral vision, I saw the big car pulling to our parking lot. It was the dark-colored SUV, but I didn’t see the car brand nor the driver because it was dark here. The SUV parked right beside Rob’s car and stopped. Rob stepped away from me, looking at the vehicle.
“What is he doing here?” He sounded surprised and annoyed at the same time.
I asked because I honestly didn’t know and turned around to look at the car. Rob didn’t have time to answer. The driver’s door opened, and Logan Jones jumped to the ground. He had a frown on his face. And he was looking straight at us.