Knock knock. I heard the door and got up to answer it. Richard was standing there and he didn't look pleased. I stepped aside so he could come in. "How are you, princess?" He asked me. My heart was still so torn, but at least I wasn't crying.
"I'm okay," I said. He took a seat next to me and placed his hand on my back.
"Are you really?" He said. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him about Spencer or not. I took a deep breath.
"I ran into Spencer the other night at the club Coster," Richard just stayed quiet. "I slapped him," I said. Richard started to smile.
"That's my girl," Richard said. I just smiled slightly at him. "Have you heard from him since?" He asked me.
"No, why should I? He doesn't give a shit about me. He wouldn't even say a word to me, the coward." I said.
"Are you really okay?" He asked me. I took a deep breath.
"I don't understand why I'm so upset. I mean he left me, he took off and left me to be killed for all he knew. I should hate him."
"But you don't?" Richard asked.
"No, I don't and I don't know why," I said and I started toget upset again.
"Princess listen to me. You're a very bright and loving person. When you love someone whether its a friend or a man, you love them with everything you have and Spencer was the first man you ever loved. I don't think that there is anything he could do to you that would ever make you hate him. You might be disappointed or hurt, but I don't think you could ever hate him. I don't think the word hate is even a part of your vocabulary." He said. He smiled at me while he was stroking my hair.
"I've got to know," I said.
"Got to know what?"
"I've got to know why. Why he did what he did." I said.
"Yes, it's eating me alive. I don't even know if he would even tell me, but I got to know." Richard stayed quiet. "I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I have got to try,"
"It doesn't sound crazy for you Page. This is who you are."
"I'm sorry Richard. This must upset you with me saying these things."
"Princess, you being you will never upset me and if you feel like this is something you need to do. I will still be here for you when it's over." He said. I don't really know what I did to deserve someone like Richard in my life. I'm always going to be grateful that he cares about me. I gave him a big hug and he hugged me back. "Did I ever tell you about my little girl?" Richard said.
"No, I mean I knew about her because of Vincent, but he would never talk about her and I didn't want to ask any questions. I didn't want to bring up a bad memory." I said and Richard smiled.
"She was Vincent's twin sister. Oh, Page, you would have loved her. She was nothing like the rest of us. She was loving and outgoing and caring and willing to do anything to help others. Her spirit was alive always. She was the light in my eyes. Until she made a very bad choice one night and got behind the wheel drunk. I lost my little girl that night and a whole lot more." He said. My heart ached for him.
"I'm so sorry," I said. She sounded wonderful.
"She was, she was always trying to change how our family ran things. Trying toget us to do better by the world. She was truly a leader. She was tough and never backed down from a fight, but she would always try to make it better before taking it that far. even in the middle of a battle. She would try to see the positive in it. Try to make it better before it got worse." He explained.
"She sounds like such a strong person," I said. "I wish I was like that," I said to him.
"Oh but you are Page. You are very much like Vicky. In so many ways, but you are also like you." He said.
"There's no way I'm strong Like her," I said.
"You really should have more confidence in yourself. Your an amazing woman Page. Look at everything you have been through and you still want to do things on your own. You still returned here to New York and took control of your own life. I would call that pretty strong." He said.
"Or incredibly dumb. Look what I gave up to be here." I said.
"What do you mean?" He asked me. "Do you mean Vincent?" He said. I nodded at him. "How do you feel about him?" He asked me. I thought about it for a moment.
You know I don't even know what love is. I try to figure it out and I just can't." I said. Richard smiled and shook his head.
"Page, all you are is love. How can you say you don't know what it is? When all you do is give it to everyone around you. Of course, you know what love is." He said.
"I miss him," I said to Richard. He smiled at me.
"He misses you too." He said.
"There are still so many things I need to do and figure out in my life. I feel like a complete mess right now and I had thought that I had gotten over this hump in my life, but when I saw Spencer. Everything felt like it just went to shit." I need answers. I feel like I need to know so that I can move on."
"Do you know how to find him?" Richard asked me.
"No, I mean I could go to his company, but I don't think that would get me anywhere. Yesterday I walked to the building that I used to live with him at, but someone else lives in the penthouse. So I know he moved out." I said. Richard took a deep breath.
"Do you want me to see what I can find?" He asked me.
"I couldn't ask you to do that. I know you hate him. That's not fair of me."
“Page, I don't hate Spencer." He said. I just looked at him funny. "That's a story for a different day." I was all sorts of confused. He sighed, "I have hatred for him, but I don't hate him." He said. "Let me see what I can do." He said and stood up. "Are we still on for lunch?"
"Of course, I don't miss that time with you,"
"Thank you, princess." I stood up and gave him a big hug goodbye. I walked him to the door and when we opened it Mickey was standing there. I got a huge smile on my face. Mickey was a very good friend to me. I hadn't seen him in a while.
"Mickey," I said and gave him a big hug.
"Hey you, how are you?" He asked me.
"I'm good now," I said. "I've missed you. How's Drake?"
"Well, if you would come home every once in a while you would know." I like hearing the sound of home. I really did need to get to the house more. Richard was smiling. Family really did mean everything to these people and to know they thought of me as a part of that. It made me feel so good.
"I promise Mickey. I will start coming home more." I said. I gave them both hugs and watched them leave. I then felt alone again. Abby and Chris had to get back to their families and Aiden was very busy and I hadn't really heard from him. Seth was with Abby the last time I checked. There were only three weeks left before we all went back to school. I couldn't wait, school, was a huge distraction for me. It helped me to keep my mind focused.
This was going to be our last year and then I would have my degree as a lawyer. I was happy I choose this career choice. I was going to do something good with my life. Try to bring as much good as I could and protect my family. I always said that I would go up against Spencer's lawyers any day and I would finally beat him, but now I just felt sad that I even felt that way. I have never been one to want to cause anyone pain.
I met Richard at our usual place for lunch and he asked me if I had heard anything from Spencer.
"No, I haven't even tried to find him," I said. "Why do you ask?"
"I was just wondering if you still needed to talk with him." He said.
"I do, but I don't know where to even start,"
"Spencer is good at hiding Page. If he doesn't want you to see him, you won't." He said. I knew this was true, but I wasn't going to give up so easily this time. I knew where to find Josh. It was only a matter of time before I get the courage to go to him and start from there. If anyone knows anything about Spencer, it's Josh.