A few days later. I stood outside of Spencer’s building. This was the third day in a row that I had stood out here just looking at his company. I still hadn’t had the courage to go in. I took a seat on the bench in front of his building. What are you doing Page? I said to myself. If he wanted anything to do with you he would have found you. Why are you doing this to yourself? I kept saying over and over. I felt someone take a seat next to me. I looked over and then I did a double take. It was Josh and he wasn’t looking at me. “Josh?” I said.
“Page, what are you doing out here?” He asked me.
“Trying toget the courage to come to see you,” I said.
“Page, I can not help you.”
“Please Josh, I really need answers,”
“Why Page, what could any answer that you might get help you in any way?” He asked me. “Page, Spencer has moved on and you need to do the same,” Josh said. I just sat there for a moment. What could I say to make Josh help me?
“I can’t move forward Josh, not without answers. I need to know why.” I said.
“He did it for your own good Page,” Josh said.
“My own good? He left me with gangers for my own good? What the fuck kind of answer is that?” I got all upset.
“Hey calm down. There’s more to the story Page.” He said.
“Okay, then I need to see him, Josh, Please,” I begged. He took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry Page, I really can’t help you this time.”
“Well, I’m going to find him with or without your help,” I said. I got up to walk off.
“Page, he is already with someone else. Let him be.” He said. I felt that in my heart. I just stood there not knowing what to do now. Maybe I should just push through this and move on.
“Thank you, Josh, for your time. I miss you too, you know we were friends.” I said. He smiled at me.
“I miss you too you brat.” He said and walked over to me and gave me a hug. I felt sad and smiled at him. We then parted ways. I was at a loss. I didn’t know now what I should do? I left and went back to my apartment. I went to open my door and there taped on my door was a note. I took the note off and went inside. I closed the door and locked it behind me. I walked over to my kitchen counter and sat down. I opened the note and read.
As much as I think you need to stay away from Spencer Allan. I also feel that maybe you need some answers. I’d advise that you just stay away and move on with your life, but I also know what kind of person you are. If you truly are determined to talk with him. He has dinner every Thursday night alone at the waterfront seafood dinner off of Main street. Good luck and I hope you find what you’re looking for.
There was no name on the note. I just read it over and over. Someone who knows me had to of left this for me, but who? I wondered. Now, I was faced with the question of if I was going to do this or not? Thursday rolled around and I still was pondering over what to do. I decided to go down to the restaurant just to see if he was really there. Night fell and I got a taxi out to the waterfront restaurant. I stayed pretty far away. I didn’t want him to see me. I sat on a bench and watched. I started to feel like a stocker. Then a car pulled up in front and sure enough, Spencer got out of the car. He looked so good, but he wasn’t alone. A woman stepped out behind him.
My heart sank, I was told he would be alone. Was I being set up to see this? It couldn’t have been Josh who sent me the note. I had just left him and went straight home. There was no way he wrote the note and got to my place before me and left it on my door. He doesn’t even know where I live. I watched as they went inside and he held her by her back. I didn’t right away leave. I could see them inside the place. The place was all, windows. I watched them get seated. They sat in front of each other. I sat there and watched them for a while. He didn’t seem too interested in what she was saying. He did a lot of looking out the window and rubbing his face. She, on the other hand, was just talking away. I don’t think she even stopped the entire dinner. Then I realized I had sat out there for their entire dinner. What the hell was I doing? I said to myself. Why the hell was I caring so much? I stayed long enough to watch them get back into the car and drive off.
I sat there longer and just turned to look at the ocean. I felt the need to just go for a walk. I got up and removed my coat I had on and headed down to the water. I took my shoes off and let the water flow over my feet. The night was hot and the water was cool. I just stared out at the moon. At that moment I thought about Vincent and what he might have been doing at that moment. I must be all sorts of fuck up. I can’t seem to keep my thoughts in order. Spencer, Vincent over and over. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just love one person and be happy with all the choices in my life? Why does everything have to be so complicated all the time? The sad thing was, I was the one who was doing all of this to myself. I needed to figure out a way to stop doing this. I ran my toes in the sand. It felt good to be out here. I just paced the area in front of the restaurant. I had only maybe been out there for around twenty minutes at the most. “Page?” I heard the very familiar voice behind me. I froze and couldn’t turn around. “Page?” He said it again.
“Spencer?” I said.