I turned slowly and there he stood. I caught my breath. "What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"You think I didn't see you?" He said softly.
"But why did you come back?" I asked him.
"Why are you following me?" He asked me.
"Why are you answering my questions with questions?" I said with my arms crossed now. He stayed quiet. I just looked at him. "Why Spencer, why did you leave me?" I just blurted out. I felt the tears sting my eyes. He came a little closer to me and I took a step back. He stopped.
"Please don't cry."
"Just tell me why Spencer," I demanded.
"Did they hurt you?"
"What, who. Richard? No, not at all. He is my family now." I said. Spencer smiled.
"I knew that's how this would work."
"What does that even mean?"
"Can I take you to get a drink?" He asked me. I looked at him for a moment.
"What about your lady friend?" I asked him. He just sort of smiled at me. "What?"
"Nothing, she is just fine. Don't worry about her." He said. "If you want answers you'll come." He said as he started to walk off. What the fuck? I said to myself. I already have a headache. I said as I started to follow him. We stopped at a little quiet bar on the waterfront. I only wanted a glass of water. Spencer was drinking of course.
"Tell me why?" I said. He took a drink and sat it down.
"I gave you up so I could be out of your life." He said. I cocked my head at him.
"Why? I thought you loved me?"
"I do, I mean I did." He said.
"I don't understand,"
"Page, I have done nothing but bring you heartache and pain. I knew Richard Bailey would protect you and not hurt you. This may sound selfish but I." He paused for a moment. "I had a way out so I took it." He said. My blood started to boil.
"You had no idea what they could have done to me. You thought they wouldn't hurt me? How could you be so sure? What if they had killed me? You would have had to live with that for the rest of your life. You say you loved me, but it was so easy for you to just walk away from me. Your nothing but a coward." I said all heated.
"You are right Page, when it comes to you. That's why I walked away. I happened to know for a fact that Richard would never hurt you." He said and then he shut up.
"How Spencer? How the hell did you know that?" I said. He didn't say anything.
"Come on Spencer, I'm waiting," I said.
"You know you're very cute when you're angry." He said. I looked at him all sorts of confused.
"What? Stop trying to change the subject. I need to know the truth." I said.
"Why Page, why do you need to know the truth?" He said.
"Because my life is a fucked up train weak. I need to know why you loved me but left me. I need to know if I still love you or if what I felt was even love. You're the first man I ever cared about. You're the first man I ever really touched. I craved you. I needed you. I need to know if what we had was real. I don't know why, but even after you left after I was shown pictures of you with another woman. I need to know why I still think of you? Why you still pop into my head?" I said. I started to cry again. He reached out slowly and with his thumb, he wiped a tear away.
"Wait a minute, what pictures?" He asked me.
"Richard showed me a picture of you with a woman about six months after you disappeared on me," I said.
"That son of a bitch." He said. "Page, if it's what I'm thinking of that woman was my niece. I only started to see women again about a year ago." He said. "There's so much I want to tell you, but I just can't. All I can say is that I had my reasons and I would have never have left you if I thought you were in any kind of danger." He said. I wanted to slap him again. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted him to hurt as I did.
"So this is all your going to give me?" I said. He looked down at the table.
"This is all I can give you. I loved you, Page. That was real. The choices I made may have been shitty ones, but I had to let you go." He said.
"And you still feel this way?' I asked him. He looked up at me.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"You still want me out of your life?" I said. He closed his eyes and laid his head back. I just sat there and waited for him to answer me. "Spencer!" I shouted.
"Yes, Yes I still want you out of my life." He said. I just shook my head.
"Thank you for the drink. I'll be going now. I won't bother you ever again." I said as I stood up and left the bar. I didn't look back at him. I know he didn't get up and come after me. I'm just a dumb girl with too many hopes. Of course, it would be raining on this late summer night. I crossed my arms and started to walk. I didn't want a ride. All I wanted to do was walk. I felt someone grab my arm and then I was pushed up against a wall. I looked into his eyes and the next thing I knew his lips were on mine. It was like all the old feelings came rushing back to me. I wrapped my arms around him and lost myself.
"Fuck, I miss you so much." He whispered out and went back to my lips. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't even move. All I could do was kiss him back. I tried, god knows I tried to move away. I just couldn't do it. I missed this so much and my body was betraying all my instincts. Spencer was bad for me. So bad in fact I craved it.
"Spencer." I was finally able to say. He stopped and pressed his forehead to mine.
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry I left you." He said. I was shocked. Not two seconds ago he wanted me to stay gone. I didn't know what to say.
"I don't understand Spencer," I said. He pulled me into him.
"Let me hold you." He asked me. I took a deep breath. I then wrapped my arms around him. It was a familiar place to be in his arms. A place I loved more than anything at one point in my life. It was too hard not to go to his arms.
"Spencer, I'm all kinds of confused," I said.
"Come home with me tonight? I promise I'll tell you everything." He said. I thought about it for a moment. Did I want to go with him? He reached out for my hand and I took it. He lived on a different side of the city. Actually, he lived outside of the city. He had a nice sized home in a gated area. I wanted to ask why he left the penthouse, but I already knew the answer to that. The car stopped in front of his place and we got out. Spencer paid the driver and he left. I watched the driver leave and looked at Spencer's house. Then back to the driver. I was hoping I was doing the right thing for myself. I know what being alone with Spencer turns into. Spencer took my hand and we walked inside his home. The place was completely different from the penthouse. It was more modern and had a very homely feel to it. It looked more like something I would have decorated, not Spencer. "Do you like it?" He asked me as we went into the kitchen.
"I do, very much," I said as I took a seat on one of his bar stools.
"Would you like some coffee?" He asked me. I nodded at him. He made us both a cup of coffee and came and sat down next to me. I took a sip and then looked over at him.
"Start talking Spencer," I said. He took a sip of his coffee.
"I grew up with Vincent Bailey." He said. My heart stopped.
"What do you mean, grew up with him?" I asked.
"We were best friends back in high school and the Bailey's were like a second family to me. I was also very much in love with Vicky Bailey. I was there the night she died." He said. I took a deep breath. Oh my god, things were starting to make so much sense.
"Is this why he hates you so much? Did you cause her death?" I asked.
"Of course not. I loved her, but I think I could have done so much more to stop it. They blame me for her." He said.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Did they not tell you about her?" He asked me.
"Not in detail, I knew she passed, but they never told me the story and they conveniently left you out," I said. Reminding myself that I would be talking with Ricard later about this.
"That doesn't surprise me Page," he said.
"Please tell me what happened," I said.
"Vincent never knew about Vicky and me. We were going to tell him, but we just hadn't yet. I wanted to marry her Page. I wanted a family with her. She was my world. I would have never hurt her. We were drinking and she wanted to drive my car, but of course, I wouldn't let her. She was a very independent woman and she was very used to getting her way. She was also a little sneaky and I knew that, but I didn't use my brain. I left my keys sitting out when I went to use the restroom. She took my keys and jumped into my car and took off. She drove herself right off the mountain and there was nothing I could do about it." He explained it all to me. I was heartbroken. The story was so sad and I felt so bad for him and for the Bailey's.
"But that wasn't your fault," I said to him.
"It doesn't matter Page. I was in charge of keeping her safe and I failed. Just like I have failed with you, time and time again." He said.
"So you blame yourself for all of this too?" I asked him.
"They all did at first. Vincent mostly and still to this day. Richard, well he was a little different. He forgave me the best that he could. See I know how the Bailey family works Page, and you have no idea just how much like Vicky you are. I knew that Richard would love you like his own daughter." Spencer started to say. He was right, The Bailey's were my family now. Richard treats me like a daughter. "I made a deal with Richard." He started to say.
"What do you mean a deal?" I asked him. He hung his head and I touched his shoulder.
"Please don't hate me too much for this." He said. I removed my hand and crossed my arms.
"What deal Spencer?" I asked.
"I gave you to him and promised I'd stay away." He said and my blood started to boil.