“How long have you been awake?”
“Quite a while. I didn’t want to wake you.”
We were whispering, staring at each other in the eyes. The moment between us was peaceful, soothing my nerves. How long it was when I was spending my time with him in bed like this?
“Vera, I am so sorry for everything. I was acting like an asshole since the moment I saw you at the charity event. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. It was long 4 years. I shouldn’t even care, but it was impossible. You were constantly on my mind. I was picturing you in my arms, then in Nate’s arms and was dying from jealousy even imagining that. I confused my true feelings for you with my desire. I really thought that there is nothing more, than pure lust. How stupid!”
I reached and placed my hand on his cheek, starting to stroke it a little. Tyler leaned to my touch, closing his eyes.
“I would have never slept with Chloe if only I knew, that she was your friend. Seeing you today in the kitchen... Fuck, it was like the air in here became toxic. How you looked at me... I am so sorry for hurting you again and again. I don’t deserve you, I should have left you alone... But the truth is, that I can’t. I am too selfish. I love you, Vera. If it wasn’t because of my stupidity, I guess you could have been my wife already.”
I stared at him. What was he saying exactly? Was he serious? He couldn’t lie to me about something so important. Could he?
“I loved you back in high school, but because of my father and his insistence on me being with Cindy and because of my immaturity... I loved you when you and I were in college, but I thought I loved you but wasn’t in love with you... You were my best friend, damn it! I was confiding in you, the thought that I was hurting you with my stories about my hook-ups never even crossed my mind! The realization that I might have lost you hit me hard after my break up with Daya. When I found out what a bitch she was. Only then I figured it out, that I was blind all this time. I thought that I was in love with her, when the only thing that was interesting me in her, was her body... After I returned home and kicked her out of my apartment and my life, I had time to think it over and over again. I tried to reach you, I needed my best friend, but you were avoiding my calls and my messages. And just like that... I finally opened my eyes. I hurt you and this understanding was like a punch in my gut. How could I be so stupid? We perfectly fitted each other, you knew every little thing about me and never judged me, you were my safe harbor and I lost you. Because I was a heartless jerk, who was blind to what was before him. I needed only you and I screwed up for good. Of course, I knew, that you moved to New York...”
“How? I didn’t speak with you since my final year in college.”
“You’re forgetting, that our hometown is a small town, where everyone knows everything about others. Mom told me, that you and Tasha moved here. My first impulse was to find you, to apologize before you, to try to coax you to give me the last chance. But for the first time in my life, I decided to put you first, not my selfish desires. I thought you would be better without me. It was hard, but I managed... Until I saw you at the event. All of my promises and declarations flew through the window... I wanted nothing more than to have you back. I saw your genuine interest in Nate, and it terrified me. He’s much better than me, I know him. I tried to destabilize you, hitting on you, proposing you only sex... When I realized that it was wrong and I was only pushing you farther away, I chose another way... But you were with Nate... Fuck, why are we messing up all the time? I am in love with you, Vera... Would you be my girlfriend?”
“I don’t know.” My heart was pounding in my chest. I wanted to scream “yes”, but I was too afraid to be hurt again.
“Vera, please, give me a chance... I know, that you still have some feelings for me. Don’t refuse to be happy! Because I will do everything in my power for your happiness!”
“Some feelings? Huh? I was in love with you, I am in love with you and I am starting to think, that I will be in love with you no matter what. But that’s not what...”
“Vera... I want to marry you...”
I closed my mouth and stared at him. What was he saying?
“Oh, I managed to shut you up. That’s the first. I don’t want you to be just my girlfriend, I want you to become my wife one day. I know what I want. I am sure of it. But I don’t want to scare you away. So let’s start with simple things first. Let’s try to date?”
“Don’t you think it’s a little late for us?”
“No. It’s never too late. Okay, how about you would move in with me? Try to live with me in my apartment.”
I lost myself in his eyes. Their color was so deep, like the color of the deep sea. I had a feeling that I was drowning in him. I knew that he was sincere. But am I ready to give him another chance?
“I am scared, Tyler. I am afraid, that you will hurt me again. What if you and I are good as friends, we’re perfect in bed, but what if... What if we won’t work out as a couple?”
“You don’t mean it. You know damn well, that you and I are a perfect match. Please, don’t be scared... I will never hurt you. I know what life without you means, and I don’t want to experience it ever again.”
I was searching in his eyes, trying to find a hint of a lie, but it wasn’t here. He was an open book for me, and so I was for him. I should have listened to my mind, to my reasonable self, but I couldn’t. I listened to my heart, for the first time in 4 years. I was neglecting it for too long.
I leaned closer to Tyler and placed my lips on his. He answered my kiss without hesitation. Our kiss was not rough or urgent. It was slow. He and I were savoring this moment, the moment when we finally let each other to be together. He placed his hands on my hips and gently pulled me to him, without breaking our kiss even for the moment. This kiss was so long as if we tried to make up for the time we’ve lost.
My hands went down from his face, tracing lines of his perfect body with deep caress. I stopped only near his waistband to pull his t-shirt over his head. He let me do that, helping me a little and tossing it on the floor. Now he was leaning to me on his hands.
“Are you sure about this, Vera? Don’t get me wrong, I want you, it’s not even a question... But I will continue only if you will be okay with it.”
“Yes, I am sure, Ty... For a long time already.”
He stared me in the eyes, I was holding his gaze, without even blinking. Slowly Tyler’s lips stretched in a smile and he leaned to me, placing his lips to my neck. I shuddered from this, he didn’t even try to undress me, roaming his hands over my body through the t-shirt. He never was that gentle to me. I sat on the bed, as soon as he leaned back from me and took off the t-shirt, I reached to unclasp my bra, but Tyler was ahead of me. He took it off, adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor.
“Just like I remembered it... Even more perfect now.”
Only with his fingertips, he started to caress my breasts, moving closer to me, forcing me to lay back. As soon as his lips touched my nipple, I moaned in anticipation. Heck, how was I going to survive this?
“Patience. I hadn’t had a chance to make love to you for a long time. Let me enjoy this moment as long as I can. And I promise you, that you won’t regret it. I am good with my promises.”
“You’re talking too much now, Ty. Is it your new habit?”
Saying so, he bent down to my lips, moving next to my jaw and my throat, teasing me with his tongue. Slowly he moved to my collarbone, to my breasts and only then to my belly. He pushed down my shorts and panties in one movement, tossing it to the floor. Tyler placed both hands on my chest and followed with them every curve and every angle of my body. I trembled under his caress. Finally, he took off his jeans and briefs, nestling himself between my legs. I reached with my hands and placed them on the back of his neck, we were staring each other in the eyes. Just like that, he slowly entered me, starting with his tip and then his full length. I wrapped my legs around his hips involuntary, on pure instinct, trying to press him even closer.
Our lovemaking wasn’t fast, it wasn’t lustful. This time it was gentle, slow and caring. Our bodies were remembering each other, with every move and every thrust. Our orgasms came in waves, totally enveloping us in it. Now I knew for sure, that he loved me with all that he had in him. He showed it to me, showering me with his kisses, with his caress and tenderness. We fell asleep in bed, our bodies tangled in a tight embrace.