CHAPTER 17 - LILAC
A bond is no joke. It binds our two souls together for life. There are no turning back or second chances.
Obviously, I can’t be angry with Dominic, but I am furious with my wolf. She took it upon herself to mark him. To use my moment of weakness as an advantage to show how animalistic and uncontrollable she is.
The overwhelming feeling of distraught flooded from me to her. She could feel how disappointed and upset I was, but her pride is bigger than my feelings. She didn’t cower her head, admitting she committed a wrong. She believes with all her heart that she was right. However, her happiness fell flat against my wall of anger.
I pushed through the boundaries of our minds, demanding to take back my body. After some persistent pushing, she resolved and let go. Allowing me to take back my body. I looked at Dominic through my eyes.
He must have felt the change in my aura. The sudden damp in the air due to the horror of what I have done. I have taken his soul and wolf and made it mine. I can now read his thoughts, mind, and emotions. He can’t do it to me yet until he marks me. His emotions along with mine hit me one after another and suddenly I felt like a thief an invader of his own thoughts and feelings.
Blackness swirled around me. I fought to keep conscious but I couldn’t. I’m fighting too hard. I’m fighting too much. The dark fog began to take over and cloud my vision. Before I knew it, I lost the battle. My body felt like lead. I felt my knees crumbled and before I felt against a hard chest. Tingles erupted all over my skin. Strong arms wrapped around me before I sink into oblivion.
When I awoke, I am laying down in my bed. My body felt sweaty. I stank. Every muscle in my body aches. My throat is parched and I felt like someone had run over me multiple times.
I wanted it to be a nightmare. That it had never happened but the faint presence in my head told me otherwise. He is in there. I can feel him even when he has the wall up. I can still feel him.
Pushing myself up into a sitting position, I realized that my heat was relentless. I can still feel it simmering in the pit of my stomach. I have always prided myself in knowing everything. Teaching everything that I can. Attending every class, passing everything with nothing short of above average but now I am at an absolute loss of what to do.
I had marked him.
I placed a hand over my face as tears threatened to slip down my face. No tears. I’m strong. Lemons into lemonade.
Learn from my mistakes—be better. There was no point in crying about it. There was no point in denying that he isn’t mine now. Violet said so herself that she doesn’t want him. I shouldn’t feel guilty. But I am guilty.
I can’t do this any further.
Getting up from my bed, I walked to the bathroom and took a very long shower. My mind is numb from last night.
Absentmindedly, I got out of the shower and dried my body off with the towel before wrapping it around me. As soon as I tucked the end of the towel in, I felt him. His presence. The hair on my body stood up and a magnetic pull tugged at my stomach. Biting my bottom lip, I looked towards the closed door that kept us apart.
He is inside the room.
I can feel that he wanted to see me.
On impulse, I walked to the door and opened it slowly. When I looked up, I saw him standing in the middle of the room. He turned when he heard me.
Today, he is dressed in a sleeveless black t-shirt and red athletic shorts. It looked like he did a workout. I can see the sweat dripping down his body. The ends of his hair were wet and sticking to his forehead. He slicked it back with running his fingers through his hair.
“Syringa,” he spoke first.
Another reminder that I am not truly who I am to him and now that he is my mate, I couldn’t hide this fact from him. I’ve made multiple mistakes with him already and I am not about to dig it any deeper. He is my destined mate by choice.
“I have something to confess,” I blabbered quickly before I lost confidence.
Sighing I walked past him and sat on the end of the bed, still clutching the towel close to me. I’m naked but that wasn’t what wasn’t important as to what I am about to say next. I ran a nervous hand through my damp hair.
“I am going to say things that might make you hate me and think badly of me. You have every right too and I understand if you want to end things. You may never want to see me again. I took advantage of you. God, I am an animal. You deserve better.” I stumbled in my apology.
A soft chuckle earned my attention. I looked up to see him laughing.
“Is it that bad?” he said.
“My name is not Violet. I am her sister, Lilac. We traded places.” I said it all in one breath.
His laughter stopped. “What?”
“I lied about who I was. I am-”
“You took her place? When? Why?” His eyebrows furrowed.
“From the beginning. She never came here. It’s always been me,” I answered him.
I felt his emotions. His walls were down when his emotions were at its highest. None of them were good. It starts in my chest like a slow burning heat. Feelings that are unpleasant. He hates me right now.
“So, you and your sister sought to play a prank on a blind man,” he scoffed and shook his head.
“No!” I stood up immediately.
He turned away and I watched him walk to the closet. After a few minutes, he walked out. I walked over to him and grabbed his elbow.
“Stop, please listen to me. My sister, Violet, didn’t want to get mated yet. She asked me to go in her place. I agreed because she’s my sister. When I arrived, I realized how quickly that all of this was wrong. I left-”
“You think that excuses your actions? Your lies? Everything about you was all a lie.” He removed my hands from around his elbow.
“It was a lie but the reason why I am telling you this because I don’t want it to be a lie. I want to make this work. I-”
“Why? You aren’t my betrothed mate. Your sister is. She should be in your place right now.” He might as well have slapped me in the face. He knows very well that we can’t break the bond even though it isn’t fully completed. We can’t be apart from each other for too long.
“Do you want her to be?” I whispered, defeated.
If that is what he wants, then I will give him that. He deserves that much. If he hates me this much then I will leave him so that he won’t have to live another second in my presence.
He didn’t answer me. His face remained expressionless. After a minute, he walked out of the bedroom. I watched him leave before I broke down into tears.
This was going all wrong. I knew this would happen. I could have continued to live this lie but I didn’t want to live in Violet’s life. I wanted to live on my own. The ache in my chest doubled and I realized it was my own emotions mixed in with his. This lie might be one of the lies that can’t be forgiven. Dominic hates me.
After sobbing on the floor for a good hour. I stood up and changed into a sleeping t-shirt, pulled on my purple underwear and some sleeping pants. I crawled into bed and dissolve into another fit of tears.
The door crept open and I heard Peyton’s voice soon after, “Lilac, are you okay?”
“He doesn’t want me. He wants my sister,” I whispered through my tears before sniffling. “I think it is best if I leave.”
“Nonsense. Give him time. Dominic just needs to clear his head.” Peyton tried assuring me.
“I marked him, Peyton. I felt what he felt. I know what he thinks. He’s very angry with me,” I told him.
Peyton sighed and I can see that he was also at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to comfort me because there was no comforting. Dominic will kick me out and I am feeling desperate right now. My wolf is howling and sad. She thought he wanted us too. She thought he was ours.
Peyton left the room a few minutes after apologizing to me once again. I don’t know what he was apologizing for but I didn’t care if he stays or leave. It wasn’t his comfort that I sought. It wasn’t his assurance that I needed.
I cried myself to the point of sleep. I dreamt about him and Violet. I dreamt that they were happy and both of them were upset at me for interfering. The look in Dominic’s eyes was cold. The way he looked at Violet, it killed me.
I didn’t realize I was whimpering and sniffling in my sleep until I felt a large hand on my waist. It slipped underneath my shirt and touched my skin, jerking me awake. Tingles erupted from that one touch. I blinked several times into the dark bedroom. Hot breath brushed against my arm. The bed dipped on one side of the bed before Dominic’s hand slipped around my waist and pulled my back up to his bare chest.
He had showered and changed into his sleeping clothes. His lips grazed my arm and I held my breath.
“What did you dream about?” he asked.
“Aren’t you mad at me?” I ignored his question completely.
He sighed and placed his cheek up against mine while he hugged me tightly in his arms. It felt wonderful but heartbreaking at the same time. The ache in my chest has subsided greatly and I noticed that his walls are down. He wasn’t mad at me. In fact, I felt something else—relief.
“At first I was very angry. I don’t like being lied to. If you were in my spot, you would probably hate me for a very long time,” he murmured softly.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized.
“I know,” he answered.
We were silent. I had so many questions running through my head but the one that glared the most was what we were going to do now.
“Your broken phone, I broke into it,” he admitted.
“What?” I tried to turn and face him but he held me tight in his arms.
“When you broke it, I kept it. I left to go to work. I had one of my pack members hacked into it. They told me about the pictures and text messages you exchanged with your sister but I want you to know that nothing from that phone changed how I feel about you. I am glad you are here. I am relieved that it is you,” he continued.
“You shouldn’t have done that. I was going to tell you everything.” I felt a little hurt and offended that he did invade my privacy.
“I needed to know who you are, Lilac.” And my breath hitched at the sound of my name from his lips.
He turned and pecked me on the cheek, “Turns out my mate loves researching and reading about American literature. Her browser history is riddled with it. She also likes to take pictures of flowers and landscapes.”
Mate. He called me his mate. My heart is pounding against my chest right now. His arm moved from around my waist until I felt him cup my cheek turning me until I felt the press of his forehead against mine.
“You wanted to right the wrong. I can forgive you for lying to me but I want to make something clear,” he murmured, his thumb caressing my cheek. I closed my eyes relishing in the warm tingles that comfort me.
“What?” I asked.
“Now that I know who you are and you made the choice to return back to me. I’m keeping you. There is no returning back home. I am your mate as much as you are mine.”