You've Got A New Message (Saroj)
You know what they say about your past coming back to bite you in the ass? Well, they're right.
I had an unhealthy habit of sleeping later than one is supposed to. Most of the days, I slept at two or three in the morning, woke up at seven or eight. Seriously problematic, I know. But I just couldn't sleep.
Today was like any other day. I went to the studio, posed for some pictures. The photographer was my friend as well as colleague, so I didn't really have a problem with posing half naked in front of him. It took me a long time to overcome my body issues, but I did, and now I was one of the most famous androgynous models in Kolkata as well as the east of India. I wasn't just a model but also an actor, though I mostly acted in independent short films or YouTube videos, I liked to think that I was good at this. But this couldn't pay all my bills and fulfill my other needs, I worked a job as an independent content writer and fashion blogger. It wasn't much, but it kept me fed, so I wasn't complaining.
It was almost two and I was staring at my computer screen, writing an advertisement for a new product launch. It wasn't really a place to let my creative persona flow but I tried my best. I was just done saving the file when my phone sounded with a notification.
The familiar sound of the soft bell chime angered me. I went on with my work without paying attention to it. The finishing touches were done by almost three and I went to bed after mailing it to the customer. I'll get the review in the morning, judging by the nature of this one, I'll have to make a lot of amends and drag my work down from artistic to plain informative.
I sighed as I applied my night cream on my face. Hey! A face like this doesn't come with no work. I was lucky to have good skin though. It was soft and smooth. I've been complimented on my skin more than anything else.
I finally opened my phone to check the notifications before bed. The first few were some work related texts or invitations to parties that I was probably not going to attend. The last one however, stole all my attention and I sat up straight on bed.
There was a message request from Ruhail Yusuf.
The Ruhail Yusuf who I wanted to hate with a passion but it always changed into the feeling of longing. The Ruhail Yusuf who just watched on the sidelines as my high school self got torn up into bits by his dickhead friends.
The Ruhail Yusuf who kissed me on a stormy day while we both were dripping wet, slammed me into a wall and told me he'd personally make my life even more miserable if I told anyone about that kiss.
It didn't help that said kiss was the most ethereal kiss I've ever had. Nobody ever kissed me like Ruhail did. Making me want to hold onto him, no, cling onto him and never let go. Geez. Talk about needy.
I shook my head and thought about just ignoring the text. I mean, what kind of a pain slut do you have to be to gag for attention from the person who torn up your heart into shreds.
But I guess I was that kind of a pain slut.
I shut my eyes and sighed. Then typed a 'hey' and sent it before I changed my mind another fifty million times. It was stupid. So goddamned stupid but I couldn't help it. I wanted to talk to him, to see him again, to touch him again - the contradictory emotions that I felt for him were enough to make me heady, and I flopped onto my back on my soft bed.
My bed had velvet covers. It was one of the few things I indulged in. It felt so fucking soft against my skin that I rubbed my half naked body on it like a kitten, imagining what it would feel like to have Ruhail wrapped around me while we laid together on the velvet sheets. The thought made me moan low in my throat.
Fuck it, I need to sleep before I become hard thinking about that dickbag.
So I rolled onto my side and forced myself into the dark worlds of dreamland.