Don't Let Go
"Please, stay with me," I begged fighting the tears that threatened to fall freely. He laughed stroking my cheek but tears pierced his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes I had come to love and adore more than anything else; eyes I relied on. Those eyes fought back the nightmares, they rescued me from my dark and bloodied memories, consoled me when I felt I had no reason to continue on. I couldn't let him go; not now, not ever.
"I'll try; everything's going to be okay, Kade. I promise," he whispered but he was lying. I could feel his fear, his uncertainty, and his pain as if it was my own. It was. I put my jacket over him hoping to combat the shivers that shook his body. I ignored his gaping stomach wound that stared at me, mocking me.
"Just hold on; the ambulance should be here any second. They said they'd be here!" I urged before turning my gaze towards the dark alleyways surrounding us. I could see nothing but shadows, as if we had been removed from the world. No one could help us.
"Someone, help me!" My voice echoed off the shadows and flew into the darkening sky. I listened for shouting, people running towards us but there was nothing but the wind, which grew stronger and colder with each passing second. Maybe we were alone, left for dead.
"Kade," he whispered as his voice grew weaker and weaker.
"Hold on, Jake, just hold for a little bit longer! Don't let go of my hand!" A tear rolled down my cheek and fell onto his palm. The frost, the billowing winds lost its icy grip on me as I stared at those eyes, the eyes of the man I loved. They were growing darker and darker as he fought to keep them open. Yet, they were full of love and worry. I was losing him.
"Kade," he whispered again pulling me closer, "my beautiful wife, it's going to be okay." He pressed his lips against my freezing hands before his hand slacked in mine. His stomach stopped moving and those wonderful, carefree, loving, ice blue eyes closed. Forever.
"No! No, no, no, no! Don't let go, Jake! Open your eyes. Please, you can't leave me! Jake!" A ravaged, inhuman scream escaped my lips as I held onto his hand tightly.
An ambulance pulled in behind me, but not even their sirens could drown my cries. They ran to Jake as they began CPR yelling at each other, reading out his medical information, but it was too late.
I was alone; he let go.
"Ma'am," an officer called placing his hand on my shoulder, "could you come with me?"
I didn't move; I couldn't. I was frozen in this time, this place staring at Jake, at my husband. He promised we would be together until the end of our days; he lied. I promised I would protect him against everything; I lied. He was gone and I was alone.
"Ma'am?" The officer called again as the paramedics turned away with defeat in their eyes.
"She's in shock," the female medic said but I couldn't hear her. The shadows, the wind, their voices became nothing but static. Jake let go of me. The paramedics pulled me to my feet leading me to the ambulance. I wanted to yell and curse at them; I wanted to stay with Jake until the ashes of Eden fell.
They sat me down as the cop began asking me questions, "Do you know who did this? How many were there? Were they wearing masks? Did they take the knife with them? What kind of knife was it? Which direction did they run?" His questions became one and faded into the static as the medics pulled a blanket over my shoulders. They shone a light in my eyes, they poked at my finger, checked my heart, and checked my blood pressure.
I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't hear anything. My soul, once bright and alive, had shattered; I would never feel anything again.
I looked down staring at the blood on my hands. It was dark, thick, and warm. My gaze fell to my blood soaked jeans and blouse. The liquid was warm despite the freezing temperatures. As if Jake was embracing me for the last time.
I looked Heavenward as the sky opened up and snow began to fall, plummeting to the ground. It began to blanket the world, covering what was good and hiding what I loved. It looked like ash.
My husband, my best friend, my soul mate was gone. This was the end, the end of everything.
There was nothing left.
I was alone.
Author's note: I came up with this story after listening to Breaking Benjamin's Ashes of Eden from their new album, Dark Before Dawn. It is softer compared to their other songs but I love the emotion, the conflict, and the uncertainty in this song. It has been stuck in my head for almost four days now, and I wanted to try and make a story to fit this song. To me, the song is about uncertainty, loss, hopelessness, and pain. I highly recommend listening to it before ,during, or after, reading this piece. Thank you for reading, and thanks to Breaking Benjamin for creating such a moving song.
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