I spun my knife around my fingers for the millionth time as I sat on a couch watching Drya sleep, paying extra attention to the steady rise and fall of her chest to ensure she was breathing. She had passed out, her panic attack making her go limp in my arms from her not being able to breath and the terror she had felt towards the gun and M8 mention. I stopped spinning my knife and gripped the hilt tightly as I felt anger fill through me.
She was terrified of me. She thought, even asked if I was going to kill her. Her! We went from joking around and talking about her baking to her now thinking I would be putting her six feet under. And that killed me. I have felt that fear before and she should never feel that again. I meant it when I said she was too good for this world, Drya was like a hand grabbing me as I drowned in the blood of this world. Too good for this world, the world I live in. But now it seems that she could also be drowning in something just as bloody that would the reason for her fear. That horrified whisper of ‘M8’...
Shaking my head I got rid of those eyes, bringing back the ones when she is joking in the bakery or excited about a new recipe.
When she passed out she was by her house so I took her key and brought her in placing her on her bed, sitting on a couch and waited for her to wake up. Prospect had stopped by feeling bad for this happening since he was a fucking idiot and took out a gun even after I told the brothers she is jumpy.
“She up yet?” I jumped up grabbing the person who just spoke shoving them against the wall as I threw my knife, “Woah there brother, fuck. I know your pissed but damn usually it’s me who’s out of balance not you.” Hunter said raising his hands.
“Fuck, sorry didn’t hear you come in.” Stepping away I released Hunter as he looked at me cautiously while slowly nodding. “And no she hasn’t” I sighed sitting back down leaning my head back focusing on making sure she was breathing right.
“Princess has been checking her name… she doesn’t exist but if she is running from the M8s then-”
“Wit pro.” I said softly dreading that being the case but her reaction, fear, burner phone and Princess not finding her then it would make sense. All those thoughts that I should keep her out of this life were meaningless, she was already deep in it.
“Probably. If it a serious case then a department may give them papers and let them choose where to go preventing a department leak. Let me know if you need anything when she wakes up.” I looked over at him nodding in silent thanks, “you alright?”
I just sighed, “I fought against her for so long seeing her innocence and distance from this world only for the possibility of her being mixed in with M8s... Not sure what the best course of action for this is. Which I don’t like. Plus I finally got her to trust me and that look in her face last night...”
“Sorry about that brother Birdy found out and ripped a new one at them for that. But take it from someone who fought against their girl for a bit, don’t. You’ve been into her since you first saw, don’t fight it, it would only make your and her life hell.” Hunter finished giving me a nod and heading out of the room.
I sighed focusing on spinning my knife, the calmness and focus I made myself have is interrupted; I just need her to wake up. As if she heard my thought I saw her body begin to move as she rolled into pillow taking in a breath before she bolted up.
Her eyes took me in for a moment, a look of confusion before her eyes widened as she pushed herself against the headboard in fear.
“Easy, Drya I am not going to hurt you.” I said softly, quickly hiding my knife from her view. As much as I wanted to go over to her I knew I couldn’t startle her in case she had another panic attack.
“What, what happened? How did I get back home? How did you get in?” She rushed out her breaths begin to quicken again, fuck.
I rubbed the palms of my hands together, “You passed out by your place as you tried to get in, once you were out I carried you inside so you can wake up someplace familiar.”
“Okay... why are you still here Ryker?” her breaths were quick again making me considering how much the past months of getting her calm again just backfire because of a prospect taking out that gun to show Spotter.
“Because I wanted to make sure you were okay. Watch your breathing, is there something you do when you start to panic?” She just shook her head and I got up carefully sitting at the far end of the bed passing her the hilt of the knife in my hand. “Here just try moving this around, be careful its sharp so nothing too fancy.” My voice light hoping it could somehow affect her.
Slowly she reach over taking the knife from me being careful not to actually touch my fingers and began to quickly move it around staying away from the blade. I felt a sense of pride with her holding my blade easily taking it upon her fingers but I guess as a cook she knows how to use one.
Once her breathing had evened out again I smiled but stayed where I was, “You passed out after a panic attack, I brought you back here to make sure you woke up and see if you can trust me to tell me what happened back at the diner.”
Her head bent down having her hair fall around her like a curtain blocking her from view as she shook her head saying something too low for me too hear. Raising my hand my fingers went through her hair finding her chin and lifting it up, my hand moving to cup her face as my thumb rubbed her cheek allowing me to staring into her soft eyes. “Trust me.” I said softly continuing my thumb’s movements to keep her calm, her eyes showing the internal struggle of her deciding whether to.
“I.. I want too but I can’t risk risk trusting anyone.” She said softly, a small tear escaping her eye that I wiped away. Her breath started to rapidly increase again. “You scare me, though not for the reason you should.” I knew she could feel the pull we both felt, she wanted to fear me from my MC affiliation but she fears me because of our attraction.
Moving so that I was sitting in front of her I brought my other hand up to cup her face completely, “hey hey easy, its okay I will just prove that you can okay?” A small smile came across my face as she softly nodded her breathing evening out.
“No buts, you are safe around me and can trust me but I will prove it to you.” my voice was firm as I met her eyes showing her that I meant every word. “Plus who else will compliment my body?”
Her face went bright red as she brought her head down sliding my hands off of her face as she brought her own up to cover hers groaning making me chuckle softly. “Oh god, I didn’t mean that.” She pushed her hands at my chest making me sit back making me miss how close we were.
“Oh so I don’t have a good body is that what your saying.”
Her face whipped up to me bright red from her blush, “no of course not I only meant, uh that... stop it your teasing me.” She whined softly chuckled making the smile resume on my face.
“But your so cute when you are flustered.” I teased back watching her cheeks get rosy again contrasting against her eye color. At least it worked with her relaxing her a bit, maybe we wouldn’t have to start over again to earn trust.
Drya began jittering on the bed looking around no doubt for my other brothers or if I had been snooping in her room. Which I did, that’s how I found her burner phone and even an old photo album which is how thoughts of wit-pro came naturally.
“Can I ask you something?” She snapped her eyes to me looked hesitant, “do you get panic attacks like that often?”
“I have had anxiety since I was little.” She just dropped her head back down looking around the room then jumped off the bed swearing, “shit how long have I been out I need to go to work, I have a double again today.”
I jumped in front of her putting my hands up when I noticed her flitch. She has never acted this way to me before when ever I have seen her. But she has never had a panic attack due to a gun being around me either nor been so close with the counter separating us. Fuck this is why I told the brothers not to go to the diner last night when she was finally comfortable around; going to kill the prospect.
“You just had a bad panic attack, I don’t think you should go to work.”
She ran her hand through her long hair shaking it out, “It’s the only place I can find peace.” Her voice filled with hesitation and wistfulness.
“I am not in trouble,” she said going around the bed, “I am staying out of trouble there’s a difference. I am going to get ready for work, thanks for uh, not leaving me in the street.”
Slowly I nodded, as much as I wanted to argue and tell her to stay and just tell me everything I knew we may actually be back to square one. “Of course. I’ll leave my number in case you need anything and don’t hesitate to call okay Drya? I am sorry about Prospects stupidity and I swear we mean you no harm.” I gave her a small smile before leaving her place. If I had stayed behind I wouldn’t be able to leave; carrying her up to her room, finally feeling her body made me think of so many ways to touch that body. And I want to feel that all of that body. In every way.
Jogging down the stairs I see Hunter on the phone quickly saying goodbye when he saw me walking to my bike, luckily one of the brothers drove is over for me. “She awake?”
“Yeah going to work, don’t want to push.”
Swinging onto my bike I looked back at her apartment complex wondering what these past twenty four hours have done. I have a lot of work to get done when I get back to the club house in finding out about the maker of the guns and how messing this will be with the M8s and Sorrentinos. Need to talk to Briac about whether or not we tell the Sorrentinos that the M8s are trying to sell guns or not. Not only that but how is Drya in witness protection, is it from the M8s? If it is then there must be some case against them that may mention her which Princess will find.
Roaring my bike to life I took off following Hunter back to the clubhouse in desperate need of coffee to get ready for the shit storm that is no doubt heading our way.