This is what I was trying to avoid. I was hoping to meet up with Luka and break things off with him as nicely as I could but he just couldn’t leave me alone long enough to just let things wait out.
I feel awful for feeling this way.
“Kiera?” he placed his hands on the temples of his skull, “who the hell is Luka?”
“He-he was a friend that I was hanging out with.” why is he acting this way? Did he expect me to just wait for him forever? It’s not like I’ve slept with Luka, he’s just been hanging around the house.
“Just a friend? I find that doubtful.” he chuckled while rubbing his hand through his hair.
“I didn’t fuck him if that’s what you’re implying.” I can’t believe he just said that to me. I don’t know what to believe anymore and I certainly don’t know what to do anymore. “He’s been coming over and staying late to watch movies with me or work on my next show with me.”
“That’s all its been?”
“Well—yeah.” I lied. I can’t tell him about the kissing right now. But I know it’s got to come to an end before I make a decision about anything. I’ll forever love and choose Matty. But Luka is also a great friend and I loved that most about him. He takes care of me when I needed to be taken care of. Both of them have.
“You’re sure?” he turned his head from the palm of his hands and he looked deep into my soul. His eyes were red, I’m not sure if it’s from anger or if he’s about to cry. But the jealousy is low key sexy. Toxic. But sexy.
“Yes,” I looked away from him, “well.”
“Well, what? Just spit it the fuck out already.” his voice began to raise in volume. I’ve never seen him get mad like this before. And I certainly didn’t think we’d be arguing a week after him being home.
“We, we kissed, Matty. I’m sorry, okay.” I pleaded with the voice in my brain that he doesn’t leave me after just coming back.
I couldn’t believe I just blurted that out without any consideration of his feelings. I really wanted to avoid this entire scenario. That’s why I was going to stop things with Luka and remain friends for the time being until Matty got back on his feet and could really make a decision if he wants to stay in our lives or not.
He’s used to seeing old Kiera, the one who partnered with Old Navy, or Walmart brand clothing. I’m not that girl anymore. I walk the runway eighty percent naked most of the time since I’ve partnered with Victoria’s Secret and when I’m not walking the stage for them, I’m walking for Adidas or playing in rappers music videos half naked.
I’m not shaking my ass on screen or doing any nonsense like that, but I do throw money at the rappers while they lip sing in front of a camera. I’m in beach music videos and I donate loads of money to nonprofit organizations with the money I do earn.
I’m not the same old shy Kiera. I’m the Kiera Johnson. I inspire people out here, young and elder. I’m going to meet the president of the United States.
“You-you kissed?” his face was crimson red and he had veins popped out of his forehead.
I couldn’t answer him. As I opened my mouth no words were able to escape. I wanted to tell him I loved him and I never stopped loving him. I wanted to scream that he left me for years and he couldn’t have expected anything less.
It was like as if he knew I couldn’t speak. Because he wiped his eyes aggressively with the palms of his hands and he exited the room without another word. How could this have happened? He just came home a few hours ago and he’s already pissed off at me and probably despises me. Maybe he even thinks of myself as a whore, now.
“Matty—,” I called out for him following behind him.
“I need to get some sleep, Kiera.” his voice lightly cracked from holding back the tears.
“You aren’t sleeping in the room with me?” is he actually unable to even look at me right now? Is he actually able to just brush me off this easily? Like it was nothing—like we are nothing. Is he actually unable to even sleep in the same room as me.
Now I’m getting pissed off.
“We can talk tomorrow, Kiera. I’m too tired to do this right now with our daughter in the next room over.” he sat on the couch and hid his face in the palms of his hands, “Did you bring him around our daughter?”
With that answer I walked back into my room and grabbed a blanket and pillow before I walked back out to the living room and dropped the folded blanket on the ground. I can’t believe believe him. I can’t believe he thinks he has any audacity to criticize me.
I walked into Kelia’s room to check on her and I went back into my room without a word said to him. This is beyond me now and I have no control anymore.
“Mom, can I go to Natasha’s after school today and spend the night?” Kelia asked while I was putting her hair up in a poof ball bun.
“Did her parents say it’s okay?”
“Yeah. She said they will call you this morning.” she shrugged her shoulder.
“Okay, I’ll write you a note if they call so you can leave with them instead of titi Roxy.” I finished the last wrap around of the hair tie, “Go ahead and pack an overnight bag. Come get me when you’re done.”
“Okay thanks mom!” she started digging through her drawers and pulling clothing out.
“You’re welcome, Princess.” I walked out of her room to let her pack her spend-the-night bag.
I walked into my bedroom to see Matty standing in the body mirror in his boxers only and looking at himself at different angles. He still looks so pissed off, like I was an awful sight to look at.
“Matty,” I just wanted things to go back to the way they were before he left us. We should talk, we are both adults now. But I guess we’ve been adults since we first had sex and I got pregnant.
“Don’t,” he kept his back turned towards me and his voice was so harsh. I hate that I hurt him so much just by this one small inconvenience.
My phone rang on cue.
“I’ve got to take this call, but don’t think this means we aren’t going to talk.” I walked away before he could object or talk any shit to me.
“Hello, Jackie.” I answered the phone as I brought it to me ear. I took a deep breath to level my voice from the tears and anger that was getting easier to hear. I hate when I have to explain myself to people as to why I’m pissed off. Things seem to spread pretty fast in this industry.
“How’s my favorite model doing right now?” she sounded chirpier than normal at seven in the morning.
“I’m just dandy. What’s going on, Jackie?” I lied but I don’t care at this point. It’s only the beginning of day two and Matty already can’t stand me.
“I know I gave you two weeks off to cope and figure things out at home but I did something great. I really did something that is going to make you scream, sweetie.” she kept rambling without even taking a second to catch her breath, “This surprise is so worth this job.”
“What’s the surprise?” if this were any other time I’d probably be just as excited as her for this surprise.
“What’s the point of a surprise if I tell you what it is?” she giggled into the phone, “come by the office whenever you get the chance today, preferably right now because I’d like to tell you now. You know what, just come after you drop Kelia off at school.”
“Alright. Am I going to enjoy this surprise or am I going to be surprised with being featured in another rappers music video without a choice given?”
“You’re never going to let me live that one down, are you?” she continued to giggle, “Just come here asap, please.” she hung up the phone without another word.
“Okay, well I’ve got to go to the office. I’ll drop Kelia off at school on my way there. So are we going to talk or not?” I walked back into my bedroom and rested my shoulder on the door frame.
It doesn’t feel the same, not completely. I love Matty, truly. But I’m not the exact same person as I was five years ago. I don’t eat a bunch of fast food, I don’t read as often, or even watch Grey’s Anatomy as much as I wish I did. My life mostly consisted of working, school, and being a full time mom. I don’t ever have time to do the things I want to do.
I just feel like he isn’t all here, and it kind of scares me not knowing what happened to him and Sammy out there. And maybe once he gets to know the real me, he will want to dip on Kelia and I.
Wherever there is.
“I thought you took two weeks off of work?” he lightly chuckled, “or are you going to meet Luka?”
I’m glad he thinks this is a joke.
“Kelia is going to her friends house and spending the night after school. Do you need anything while I’m out?”
“Talk about what?” he keeps ignoring my questions and I’m really starting to get irritated.
I pulled my phone out to text Garrett to pick up Kelia and I from the house and immediately locked it, “I hate to point out the obvious but what the fuck was last night?”
“Yeah, what the fuck was last night, Kiera?” he snipped at me.
"You left me, Matteo.” I lifted myself from the doorframe, “look at it any way you want but this isn’t on me.” I left the room in disbelief with what I just said. It isn’t only on him, it’s on both of us really. I shouldn’t have kissed another guy and start something with someone when I was clearly still hoping for Matty to come home. And he shouldn’t have left his newborn daughter and myself home alone to go safe this pathetic world.
I walked into the kitchen and I immediately went for my alcohol cabinet. I wanted something strong. But only just a shot or two, something to make me feel something besides this angry feeling I have inside my chest. And liquor is the only thing I have to do that at this moment.
My phone vibrated on the counter as I poured myself a half glass of Hennessy and I downed the drink before I looked at the text message.
Yeah... jack already sent me I’m outside. Does Kelia need help carrying anything?
Garrett can’t come inside right now. Not with everything that’s going on with Matty. I just can’t deal with his jealousy right now.
No I’ve got it we are on our way out now!
I walked into Kelia’s room and I grabbed her bag from her bed, “come on babe, tío Garrett is outside waiting for us.” I held my hand out for her.
“Are you okay, mommy?” Kelia grabbed my hand and we made our way towards the front door.
“I’m fine, Princess. Are you excited to take Duma to class with you next week?”
“Oh, yes!” she screeched, “Do you think she will have a good time?”
“She loves the attention so I’m sure she will be just fine.” I smirked at her beautiful face. At least I can count on the fact that I made a beautiful daughter. We made a beautiful daughter.
I helped Kelia step into the bus and saw Garrett sitting in the front seat with his phone in his hand. “Hey, thanks for doing this.”
“No problem, girl. Is everything alright?”
I haven’t told anyone myself that Matty is home. The media knows only that he is home. But they don’t know that he’s really not home but he’s home. His mind is definitely somewhere else.
“Yeah,” I hesitated to step inside. Matty is inside alone and I’m just leaving him here without a goodbye.
“Ki?” Garrett tried getting my attention but I couldn’t take my eyes off the front door.
“I’ll be right back.” I walked away before Kelia or himself could question what my motives are.
Even I’m not sure what my motives are, I just know that you never know when the last goodbye is the last goodbye. And I don’t want to ever leave without saying goodbye.
I walked into the front door to see Matty standing in front me with tears in his eyes that were bloodshot red.
“Matty? Honey, are you okay?” I dropped my purse on the floor and wrapped my arms around his waist as soon as I made contact with him. He laid his head into my shoulder and hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. But I’m not complaining, this is getting somewhere right?
“I just—I just wanted to say love you bye before you left.” his voice trembled so harshly. I’m glad he realizes the same thing as me. I felt so out of character and unlike myself when I got to the bus. I need to do this. I can’t ever risk losing him again.
“I love you, Matteo.” I rubbed my fingers through his hair. “You can talk to me whenever you are ready, babe.”
“Tell me you’re mine.” he whimpered into my ear and pulled away to look me in my eyes. His eyes were swollen nearly shut and tear stains ran down his cheeks. I felt awful that I caused this. He lightly wrapped one hand around the back of my neck and the other hand on my cheek, “Tell me you’re mine.”
I’m not saying I’m not his. I would take him back in a heartbeat and I’m going to be there for him no matter what. But we’ve got to work on getting back to where we were. We can’t just jump in. “I’m yours.”
As the words escaped my mouth he slammed his warm moist plump lips to mine and began massaging our spit into each other’s mouths. I wanted him. I need his touch on my skin. It’s been so long I had almost forgot what spark it struck inside me.
“Matty,” I forced myself to pull away, “Before we claim anything we should really talk. We’re adults now with a five year old.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to be with me?”
“I’m saying I can’t do this right now, I have to go to the office—Jackie is insisting on it. I’m saying I love you and I want to make this work. We just have to do this the right way, because I love you. And you saved me when I needed saving.”
“You still love me?”
“Oh, Matteo,” I lightly chuckled at his question, “I’ll never stop loving you.” I gently pressed my lips to his, “I’ve got to go. Kelia and Garrett are outside waiting for me.”
“What time will you be back?”
“No longer than a few hours, I’m sure. I’ll call you if anything. And if you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to call me. Tell me you know that I’m here for you.”
“I know, babe. We’ll talk when you get out of work.” he sighed heavily, “I love you, so much.”
“I love you, too.” I meant it. I meant every word. “I’ll call you to check up on you.” I kissed him before exiting the house front door.
“You wanted me to come here, right?” I peaked my head into Jackie’s cracked open door and lightly knocked.
“Yes, shut the door and have a seat.” she picked her office phone up and held it to her ear while dialing a number. “You can send him in now, she’s arrived.”
“Him?” she caught my attention fairly quickly. I wonder who he is.
“Oh Kiera,” she chuckled, “I am about to give you the best present ever.”
“And that is what-,” I was interrupted by a light knock on the door and a young brown man walked into the room who had on a very expensive suit and a pair of nice glasses.
“Kiera, I’d like you to meet-,” his smile was genuinely nice. Very eye catching.
“Ryan Coogler, nice to meet you.” I interrupted Jackie and stuck my hand out towards him as I stood up from my chair to greet him.
His hand met with my hand and he had a nice smile on his face, “Hi, Kiera Johnson.”
I was freaking out inside. This was the man who directed Black Panther and Fruitvale Station, two of the best movies I’d ever seen. I continue to meet more and more famous people, and yet my reaction is always the same.
Jumping around inside my head like I’m a four year old meeting Alex from Wizards of Waverly Place.
Wait, I did meet her.
“It’s nice to meet you, I’m quite a fan.” I grabbed ahold of my composure.
“I could say the same,” he glanced at my body. “My daughter and I are huge fans.”
“Oh really? That’s awesome to hear, how old is she?”
“Just turned eleven this past February.”
“I’d love to meet her some time, my daughter is turning six in a couple weeks coming up.”
“She would love that,” he smirked at me, “But that’s not why I’m here.”
“Okay.” I sat down and with a straight posture.
“I’m here to offer you a job.” his voice went from friendly to business in the matter of seconds. That’s professionalism. And that’s how he is such a successful man.
“Have you ever thought about acting?” he opened his black leather brief case and pulled out a packet.
“Never really thought about it.” come to think of it, I’ve never even thought about it once.
“I want you in my movie.” he blurted out.
“Huh?” my jaw dropped to the ground. Did I forget to clean my ears this morning after I showered? It sounded like he said he wants me in his movie.
“Not the reaction I was looking for,” he chuckled, “Here’s a preview of the script with a description of your character. Not only will this lift your celebrity level but you’ll be bringing in the big bucks.”
“You want me to be in your new movie?” I still couldn’t believe it.
He handed me the script packet after looking it over, “Well why wouldn’t I? You represent Devyn perfectly, you are her when I vision her in my head. Take your time and think it over, I’m sure Jackie can fill you in and help you make the right decision.”
I glanced down at the packet, “Thank you so much, I’ll get back to you as soon as I make my decision.” I reached over and hugged his shoulders.
He laughed, “You have to have your answer to me in one week, that’s when we start filming. I look forward to hearing from you, Kiera Johnson.”
I pulled away from him and sat down in my chair, “Thank you so much.”
“Until then,” he stood up from his chair and held his hand out for a final handshake.
“Until then.” I smiled at him while shaking his hand and he left the room.
“O M G!” I screeched when I saw the door close completely. I started flipping through the packet, “How the hell did you pull this off?”
“Oh he asked for you, I only gave him what he wanted and that was a meeting with you.” she chuckled at my excitement. Right now, I don’t care that she’s making fun of me. I just got asked to star in Ryan Coogler’s new movie.
“Kiera,” she took her glasses off and leaned forward to her desk while resting her elbows on the wooden desk, “Are you sure you want to go down the acting route? You sure you don’t want to stick to modeling?”
“Why can’t I do both?” Is she trying to talk me out of doing it?
“You can, but most of your time is going to be spent filming. If you stick with modeling you’ll still get to go home every night at five thirty and have the night with your daughter, but you’re going to get stressed out doing all three.”
“Modeling, acting, and family.” she sighed.
“Matty could help, he’s home now.” can he?
“Kiera,” she raised an eyebrow at me.
“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, “Of course he can’t be a full time parent right now.” he’s been home two days and it is absolute hell. I’m not blaming him but ptsd is real and I get to see him experience it every second of everyday. He’s always looking over his shoulder.
“This could really help with my gigs though, I could get offered to be in Vogue magazine if I’m able to get out on the map more.” having to choose between work and family, is probably the worst thing ever.
“I’m not trying to talk you out of it, by all means go ahead and take the offer. But I personally care for you, and I know that it isn’t going to be easy doing all three. I just don’t want to see you fall off the bridge like everyone else does.” she started playing with her pencil on her desk, “Why don’t you go home after this set and read over the script and talk about it with Matty?”
“Thanks, Jackie.” I grinned at her as nicely as I could without showing any of the sadness running through me and I left her room. I don’t feel like telling anyone what’s going on with him right now.
My phone began ringing in my purse as I entered the elevator.
“Hey, what’s up?” I pressed the green button on the touch screen radio.
“What are you doing right now? I have some great news I wanted to share with you.” he paused for a few seconds, “and I think we should talk about yesterday, too.”
“Where are you?” he wasn’t wrong. We really should talk. And I really need to break things off with him. I just hope we can remain best friends and he will be there for me throughout this very long road ahead of me.
“I was coming by the office to talk with Jack. Would you like to get breakfast?” I wanted to say yes. I should say yes. But I don’t know if it’s the right thing leaving Matty at home alone while I’m out with Luka. I can’t be seen out in public with Luka if I don’t want Matty to know.
“Yeah, I’m already here so we can just get some bagels from the buffet table and talk somewhere private.” I can explain we just bumped into each other and ate breakfast while I broke things off with him.
“Sweet, I’ll meet you at the table in ten?” he sounded upset. He knows what’s to come.
“Sweet, see you then.” he always made me smile and now I’m not even returning the favor.
I entered the photography set and sat in my seat that as labeled Johnson. I know Luka said he would be here in ten minutes but each minute that passes feels like it’s been thirty minutes. I’ve never broken up with someone before. I’ve only seen it from an outside perspective and nine times out of ten it doesn’t go well. And I’ll always choose Matty, so I have to figure this out somehow.
“Ki,” Luka wrapped his arms around my neck as he surprised me.
“Hey,” I stood up from the chair to get out of his grasp. “How was the drive here?”
“It was great.” he stuffed his hands deep in his dark blue jeans pockets, “let’s just get this done and over with.”
“We should talk in private, yeah?” I lightly smiled at him and held my hand out for him to accept my offer.
“Yeah.” his hand intertwined with mine and we made our way to the conference room that I knew would be empty.
I shut the door and sat across from Luka to ensure he had my full undivided attention while we talked. He was my best friend who was a guy that I would kiss sometimes.
“So, talk.” he crossed his arms over his chest and let out a loud sigh.
“I know you saw the media.” I didn’t know what else to start with, “So I know that you know Matty is home.”
“You mean your dead baby dad?”
“My presumed dead boyfriend and the father of my child, correction.” what the fuck is the pattern with everyone being rude to me? I’m doing the best I can at this life.
“Is he back for good?” he couldn’t make eye contact with me.
“He is, yes. And Luka, I’m truly sorry. I really liked you, but-,”
“But what? You like him more?”
“Well Luka,” I am probably going to regret doing this, “I love him more. He’s the love of my life and if this were you in any other situation I’d support you unconditionally because we were friends before we kissed or started this.”
“What is ‘this’?” he used finger quotes, “Last I knew we were really feeling each other, and I mean really feeling each other.”
“He’s the father of my child, Luka.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to drop whatever it is you were in the middle of and go be with him. He left you, Kiera. I helped put you back together if you don’t remember.”
“Are you really going to be this immature? You’re my best friend, you should be happy for me.”
“Happy that you’re just going to take back the man that left you without making him work for it? Nah, you’re good.” he brushed me off with a light chuckle, “if you want to be with him go for it but I don’t know if I can be friends with you if you just jump right in with him.”
“What’s wrong with me jumping in a relationship with him? We never even broke up.” I said in defense.
“He left you, Kiera!” he shouted at me, “he was gone for five years doing god only knows what! What if he was on some secret mission and is going to put Kelia and you in danger? Or what if he has ptsd so bad to the point where he chokes you to death in his sleep? You don’t know shit about him or what state of mind he is in and that’s dangerous as fuck, Kiera.”
“Well,” I was speechless. He’s not wrong. I knew he wasn’t wrong. And I have nothing to use in this argument against that.
“I’m not mad that you’re breaking this off with me,” he rethought about what he just said, “actually, I’m a little mad but I’m mostly mad that you just took him back without even making him work for your trust. You’re worth so much more than that and any guy is lucky to have you nor should they ever take advantage of you.”
“You’re good, let me know what you choose after you take some time to think things over. You know where to hit me.” he bit the corner of his lip before he stood up from his chair with his jacket over his shoulder and exited the room.
“Think about what?” I shouted to catch his attention but he must not have heard because the door remained shut and I was the only one left in the room. Think about what?
I unlocked the front door and walked in to see an empty sun room and living room, “Matty?”
“In the bedroom!” I heard him shout from afar.
I tossed my purse on the couch and walked into the bedroom with a huge smile on my face, “Hey.”
“Hey.” he was playing the video game and only glanced at me before returning his eyes back to the screen. “How was work?”
Way to keep it casual, Matty.
“It was great!” I screeched at the top of my lungs as I forgot about all the problems that were to be brought into play after I get the news out on the table.
“You’re overly excited.” he didn’t take his eyes off the screen. He doesn’t seem to give a shit about what’s going on in my life.
“That’s because I am excited.” I said excitedly.
He pressed the center button on the controller to open a different game, “What’s up? What happened at work?”
“Well I might have just been offered a million dollar deal.” I crinkled the packet to my chest. I’m so excited to read it over and try acting out the part.
“Uh, what?” he paused the game and set the controller on the bed. He raised an eyebrow at me as I sat on the empty side of the bed beside him.
“You know the director Ryan Coogler?”
“The one who directed Black Panther?” his eyebrows were caved in from the confusion.
“Uh huh!” I screeched, “Check this out.” I handed him the packet that was somewhat squished.
“What’s this?” he started skimming through the pages making sure to not make eye contact with me. Asshole.
“He asked me to star in his new movie!” I stood up from the bed and jumped up and down in excitement like a little kid.
“You’re joking!” he remained on the bed, “No way you’ve already been offered a movie deal, congratulations Kiera. I told you that you’d do great things in this world.”
I lightly smiled at his nonchalant comment, “If this turns out to be a hit movie then I’ll make bank off of it. And it’d help me get an interview with Vogue magazine, too!”
“Congratulations, really. I’m so proud of you.” he smirked at the packet as he started reading more into it.
“Thanks,” things need to get back to normal and Luka was right. We need to work at this together and not just Matty. “Are you hungry? Have you ate breakfast?”
“I was waiting for us to talk, besides I’m not really hungry.”
“You’re skin and bones, we can talk while I cook you breakfast.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the kitchen behind me.
“Kiera, I swear—I’m fine.”
“Sit,” I forced him to sit at the dining table chair that was in the kitchen.
He groaned in annoyance, “fine.”
“I talked with Luka after I met with Jackie and Ryan.” I think honesty is the best route to go down if I want this to play out right.
“I knew you weren’t going there just for work.” he laughed.
“I broke it off with him, even though we weren’t a thing.”
“Obviously you guys were something if you had to break it off with him.”
“No, Matty. We weren’t anything, I wasn’t ready to move on. I was still broken up about you and he was just there all the time. He was there when you weren’t.” if you bite me I’ll bite back.
“So, he wasn’t your boyfriend?” he finally looked at me as I cracked an egg into a glass bowl.
“No, he was a friend that would spend the night and I would rarely kiss. He wanted it, believe me but I didn’t want it.”
“Why?” he grinned at me.
“Why, what?” I was confused what he was asking.
“Why didn’t you get together with him? I left you, you said it yourself.”
“Matty, I was doing some thinking.” I don’t think this is going to go the way I want it to go.
“Great, what were you thinking about?” it almost sounded like he was mocking me.
“Maybe we shouldn’t jump right back into our relationship, maybe we should work on getting to know each other before just saying fuck it and jumping right in.” that sounded nice enough.
“What are you saying? You want me to leave?” he began to grow tears in his eyes and his nose began to turn rosey red.
“No, I’m saying maybe we should try couples therapy?” I sound so stupid, I’m sure.
“Will it make you happy if I agree to do this?”
“It will, yes.” I meant every single word.
“Fine, set up the appointment.” he rolled his eyes at me before standing up from the cushioned chair and stood beside me as I mixed the eggs with some seasoning to make my famous breakfast wraps. “But on one condition,”
“Okay. What is it? Anything.”
“No more lying, that’s all I ask.”
“I didn’t lie,” I can’t believe I’m saying this, “I just withheld some of the truth from you.”
“Yeah?” he placed his finger underneath my chin to force me to look into his lustful eyes. He lightly pressed his lips to mine and sparks began to spark from my lips and work their way down to my stomach.
When we usually kiss, we part away almost immediately. I don’t know if it’s because we haven’t been together in four years, but we’ve never had more than a soft peck unless we were making love.
But this time we didn’t pull away. Instead, our kiss grew more and more heated until our tongues were playing tug of war and exploring every inch of each other’s mouths.
Matty started caressing my hour glass body shape with his big hands and I knew what was about to happen.
It’s been almost five years, could you really blame me?
I whipped my jean jacket off and threw it on the ground, we started kissing more aggressively and somehow I ended up being lightly shoved into the wall being trapped between Matty’s arms. I lifted my oversized red Adidas shirt off and I tossed it somewhere in the room once we made it into the bedroom.
One of his hands left the wall and placed itself on my breast while massaging it nice and slowly. Matty separates from my lips and seductively started kissing his way up and down from my jaw line down to my cleavage from my bra.
I let out a loud moan as my head fell backwards. I grabbed his shirt from the bottom and lifted it over his head as fast as I could.
“I missed you,” he slammed his lips to mine, “so much.”
“Shut up and fuck me.” I slammed my lips to his and he placed his hands on my butt cheeks and lifted me in the air.
He carried me over to our bed without managing to trip over anything that we had thrown on the ground and he laid himself on his back with my body on top of his and my legs wrapped around his waist without breaking our steamy make out session.
I slid my Adidas soccer shorts off as fast as I could without breaking our kiss or moving too much from his waist. I could feel his shaft rubbing against my hotspot through his basketball shorts. He slid his basketball shorts off when I sat up enough to slide my shorts off and we both were in just our undergarments.
He grabbed ahold of my red lace underwear and ripped them off with light force. He lifted himself up straight on the bed while kissing me and he pulled his boxers off.
I missed having sex with him, I missed it so much.
I started grinding my wet and throbbing hotspot on his shaft, I picked up a couple moves from going out to the club with my other model friends.
“You’re so wet, baby.” he aggressively started kissing my cleavage that was leaking out.
I lifted my hips enough for me to slide him inside of me and I started moving up and down slowly. He wrapped his arms around my torso and he helped me move up and down at a quicker speed while leaving hickeys all over my chest and neck.
“Oh fuck, Matty.” I moaned into his ear.
“Say my name again, baby.” he started sucking on my collar bone.
“Matty.” I bit the corner of my lip and smiled at him as I looked him in his beautiful green eyes while I continued riding him.
“Again.” he started moving me up and down faster.
“Matty.” I got close to his ear and whispered.
“You feel so good inside of me.” I started nibbling on his ear lobe and he slid my bra straps down my shoulders.
“I’m yours.” I smiled at him and he picked me up while still inside of me and laid me on my back and started thrusting so fast and hard that you could probably hear the clapping sounds throughout the entire house.
“Where can I come, baby?” he lifted my legs above his shoulders and rested them there while he started thrusting again. “I’m going to come.”
Without a second passing, he stopped thrusting in and out of me and I felt his boner twitch inside of me with a warm liquid shooting inside of me.
Good thing I had my birth control put in a year ago, I cannot have another baby right now.
He slipped himself out of me and grabbed his boxers from his knees and pulled them up before plopping himself on his side. He started slowly kissing my sweaty shoulder while I laid there trying to catch my breath.
I rolled over and faced him to see his face beat red and beads of sweat sitting on his forehead and neck. “Wow.”
I aggressively pressed my lips to his again and started to creep on top of him, “Round two?”
“You know I’m ready, baby.” he pressed his lips to mine and began to shape my hour glass body, again.
I woke up to my phone ringing.
“Hello?” I answered without checking the screen.
“Hi mom, I’m just calling to say goodnight to you and daddy.” Kelia’s voice sounded over the phone.
I wiped my hair out of my face and unplugged my phone from my charger while glancing at the time.
“Hi princess, daddy’s already asleep but I’ll be sure to tell him if he wakes up. What are you doing? Anything fun happen?” I sat up and turned on my night lamp.
“Yeah we went to Sea World and got to play with turtles! They even got one named after me!”
“No kidding! That’s so cool! I doubt anyone has named their turtle Kelia before.”
“Yeah! I know I was the only one with a turtle named Kelia. They have adoptions stars on the wall above the tank.
“That’s so cool, Princess. Did you eat dinner?”
“Yeah. They took us out to Waffle House after Sea World.”
“Did you eat anything good?”
“Just strawberry waffles. I’m really tired mommy, what time are you coming to get me?” I heard her yawn.
“I’ll be there ten sharp. Don’t forget titi Roxy is getting married tomorrow to tío Allen.”
“Okay mommy, I love you goodnight.”
“I love you too, Princess. See you tomorrow.” I kissed into the phone with her and hung up the phone.
“Who was that?”
“Kelia just calling to say goodnight to us.” I fell backwards into the bed and landed in Matty’s arm.
He started stretching, “What time is it?”
“About nine, are you hungry?” I cuddled into his chest.
“Yeah, actually I am.” he chuckled, “We only slept for an hour? I feel like it was longer.”
“Yeah, that’s probably because we just had sex three times.” I giggled and covered my face from embarrassment. Just like high school, he still brings out the shyness in me.
“Is Monty’s still open?”
“Yeah, till midnight. You want to go?”
“Yeah. Do we have to wait for Garrett and Ricky?” he sat himself up and turned on his night lamp.
“No, I think we are okay to go out without them.” I sat up beside him.
“I’ve got to ask you something.” he muttered under his breath and watched his fingers start fidgeting with each other.
“Okay. What’s up?” this didn’t sound too good.
“Was there ever someone else?” he looked in the opposite direction of me.
“What?” I didn’t hear him completely.
“Was there ever someone else? While I was gone?” he turned his head towards me. “Besides Luka.”
“I thought you were dead, and I planned to have you come home and we would get married and have tons of more babies while making a bunch of money. When you stopped existing, I started to feel pain everyday. There will never be anyone else.” I slid off the bed and walked over to the dresser to grab a new pair of underwear and slipped on a pair of his sweatpants and matching hoodie.
“You thought I was dead?” I could hear the sadness in his voice.
I saw him look at me in confusion as I finished pulling up my pants.
“Four years they searched for you, they presumed you dead.” I started to tear up from the memories of horrible sleepless nights and loneliness so I turned towards the dresser with my back to him.
He didn’t say anything, “They gave up and presumed you dead after looking for you for three almost four years. They gave your mom and dad a copy of your dog tags, but they gave them to me.” I opened the top dresser drawer and grabbed the baggie underneath all the socks shoved in the back corner.
I turned around with his dog tags in my hand to find him standing right behind me. “It took me four years to move on.”
I’m not sure why I keep talking, but the truth just keeps pouring out. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes just as fast as his were.
“It took me four years to finally get my first good nights sleep, after they declared you missing a month after the phone call.”
“Kier-,” his eyes were filled with tears.
“There will never be anybody else, but it’s going to take time to get back to where we used to be.” I interrupted him.
He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around my body and hugged me tightly while kissing my forehead.
“Sammy and I got involved in a case with the FBI.”
“What?” I pulled away from his body.
Matty took a step away and sat on the white plush love seat that was in our room. He held his arm out for me to sit on his lap. I ended up sitting between his legs with my legs on the free spot of the sofa and my back was leaning against the arm of the couch. “It’s time I should explain.”
“I took the liberty of having Sammy show me all the hacking skills he knew. You know, for precaution in case something bad ever happened again.”
“So you know everything he knows how to do?”
“Uh, no. I actually know more than him, now.” he smirked with confidence.
“So what are you saying?” I was confused.
“Before I called you, Sammy and I hacked into the Military Butcher’s system.”
“Wait, the one who was murdering a bunch of marines and dumping the bodies in groups?”
“Yeah, we managed to hack into it as a joke. Well, I did. But I wouldn’t of been able to do it without Sammy. He was taken captive fifteen minutes later while I walked out to go grab us dinner, and there was clearly a struggle when I got back to our hotel room.” he looked away from me and started breathing a bit heavier.
“If you can’t talk about it, please don’t. Don’t stress yourself out.”
“No,” he took a deep breath in, “no.”
“If you need to stop you can, babe.” I rested my head on his shoulder.
“I went to the Battalion Leader, who went to the police immediately and they contacted the FBI. Eventually after hours of interrogation, they got into my computer and saw what I knew and they loved what they saw. They didn’t even press charges on me for the illegal hacking.”
“What happened after that?”
“I told them that I was going to help find Sammy, he was my best friend. I wasn’t taking no for an answer and they finally let me in. That’s when I called you.”
“Is that why you hung up so fast?”
His leg started shaking underneath my legs, “Yeah. Two guys who worked for the Military Butcher broke into my hotel room.”
“Did they get you?” I covered my mouth in fear.
“No, I took them down. But I packed mine and Sammy’s laptop with a few pair of clothes and all of the seven hundred dollars cash I had and I left everything behind and never looked back. I had to come home to you guys, but safely. And I couldn’t lead him to you, and you guys need me alive in order to protect you so I left.”
“Where did you go?”
“I found an old run down cabin in the middle of no where. I bought the biggest camping bag I could find in Walmart and I had bought every survival item I had learned to use plus enough food and water with the money I had. I never left the cabin but to go hunting and gather water. There wasn’t any electricity or water, so I had to use the kitchen and bathroom with a lantern that was there and that was it.”
“You lived like that for four years?” I felt awful for him.
“Mhm,” he rubbed his upper lip while looking away from me. “I managed to get a signal out there and contacted the FBI through an encrypted message.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“From the night I left, to the day before I showed up on your doorstep I tried getting his name. I swore it was impossible, completely. I tried everything I could think of, but nothing worked.”
I’m still speechless.
“The military butcher drops his victims twelve days after holding them captive while torturing them and then skinning, disembodying their bodies, and would drop them in random places in groups of twelve. He killed over a hundred soldiers.” he sighed, “Sammy’s body never showed. But he continued dropping twelve cut up and skinned bodies in piles every twelve days.”
“Did you get him?”
“I started to go crazy, like actually insane.” he mumbled. “But I knew Sammy was alive. I could feel it.”
“I would be surprised if you didn’t, you didn’t have contact with anyone?”
“Not a single person.”
“But I got it, after what you say to be three and a half years later I finally got him. I got his name and his location where he was all the time, a garage in the middle of no where.”
“I finally worked the courage to walk into the police department, not that anyone would’ve recognized me for me. And I got into contact with the FBI right away.”
“You’re telling me that you’re the reason they found this guy?”
“With backup I managed to get him out safely, but he wasn’t looking very good. He had cuts and bruises all over his body, no clothes on, and he was tortured for almost four years.” his voice cracked and he wiped away a single tear that fell. “There were small parts of his skin missing throughout his body, too.”
Matty has been there for me through my entire pregnancy, my stalker, when my parents kicked me out. He was there when nobody else really was, he took me under his wing and nurtured me back to happiness. And now? I’m going to return the favor.
“But you found him alive right?”
“He was barely hanging on.” he looked away from me. “If we had of got to him any later I’m scared he would’ve—he would’ve,” his voice started cracking and he couldn’t finish his sentence.
“It’s okay, honey.” I turned his head and pressed my lips to his before bringing his head to my shoulder. All I can do is hug him and comfort him, there isn’t anything else I can do to help him ever forget that he had to go through that.
He hugged me so tight, that I almost couldn’t breathe. But I refuse to let go of him right now, to ever let go of him. He needs me just as much as I need him.
I could feel his tears wetting my shoulder through my sweater I had put on and based on his breathing he was crying waterfalls.
“How about we freshen up quickly and heal ourselves with food, babe?” I pulled him away from me slowly.
I lifted myself from his lap and held out my hand out for him. He wiped his tear stains with his tank top and he grabbed my hand. I went to walk away with him but he twirled me into his arms and pressed his lips to mine.
“I love you.” he kissed me again.
“I love you, too.” I kissed him, “You should call your parents tonight. Maybe you could FaceTime them?”
“Why are you persistent on me calling them to tell them I’m home? They probably know from the internet.” he raised an eyebrow at me in confusion.
“I can’t be the one to tell you, your parents need to be the ones who tell you out of respect for them. Just give them a call.” I grabbed my purse and keys from the dresser.
“Is it bad?”
“No, it’s beautiful actually.” I smiled. I hated keeping secrets from him.
“Babe just tell me.”
“Sorry Matty, no can do.” I walked out of the room, “If you want food let’s get going.”
“These are probably the best burgers I’ve ever ate.” Matty shoved the last bite of his burger into his mouth.
“I can tell.” I laughed at how full his mouth was. “Did you even taste it?”
“Hilarious, thank god I got two meals.” he chuckled before taking his phone I had just bought him out of his back pocket and started tapping on the screen.
“I’m going to go shower,” I finished off the last bite of my chicken sandwich and crumpled the wrapper.
“Hey, mom.” I heard Matty say. I turned around to see him holding his phone to his cheek.
“Yeah, it’s me. It’s Matty.” he chuckled.
“I miss you guys, too. I love you.” his voice got softer.
“How are you and dad?”
Here we go.
“I’m sorry, the phone cut out. What’d you say?”
He shot up from the bed and looked directly at me.
Yep. There it is.
“I have a little brother?” a smile grew on his face slowly.
“Wow,” he sat back down on his edge of the bed.
“I’m going to head in the shower. Come join me when you’re done.” I whispered into his open ear seductively while rubbing on his cheek.
I kissed his lips before I walked away and disappeared into my bathroom.
“Okay, something old, something new, and something borrowed.” I examined Roxy’s dress to make sure everything was in tact.
Roxy turned to face me, “Well? How do I look?”
“You look ay okay to me girl, lets get this show on the road!” Kelia answered before me with a sassy and hyping attitude.
“My gosh! You look so beautiful!” I started to cry and laugh at the same time from all the emotions running through my body.
“You think so, guys?” she started smiling, big and proud.
She is going to make a great Johnson.
“Oh, I know so.” Kelia pointed her finger and twirled her head in a circle. “Alright, places everyone!”
I guess I’m raising a wedding manager more than a daughter. She’s had the most fun she has had in a while helping Roxy and I plan this spectacular wedding.
Roxy met with her father before the church doors and Kelia stood behind her as the flower girl. Then I followed behind Kelia as her maid of honor and following behind me were friends from college as her bridesmaids.
Her dress was absolutely stunning. It was a pearl white color with a lace top and a silk bottom with a mermaid tail. She had a long vail that was connected to a beautiful tiara that had blue and white jewels decorating it.
Kelia was dressed in a champagne pink floor length gown that was ruffled at the top that was tightened at the waist with a matching color ribbon and bow. She carried white rose petals in her white basket that was decorated in white diamonds and her hair was straightened which made the outfit look its best.
Roxy’s three bridesmaids were all wearing the same color dresses. Champagne pink strapless floor length silky dresses, with their hair done by a professional stylist in a braided bun. The dresses had a small bit of glitter on them, making the dresses shine in the light or flashing cameras.
I had Jenny help Roxy make my dress, I gave her what she wanted. To design one thing at her wedding, and so I decided to let her design my dress. And I have to say that it didn’t turn out bad at all.
It was a ivory white glittery floor length dress that had a slit down the right side of it with a long v-neck top that was made of glitter and flower lace. It was absolutely stunning and I can’t wait to keep it forever as a memory. She finished off my look with my makeup and hair being done by Carlos. Instead of having it up, they decided it should be in a side fishtail braid.
They were probably thinking about what the paparazzi would see, not what anyone else would see.
Assuming, the paparazzi are going to show up because of me.
“Ready darling?” I heard Roxy’s dad mumble to her as they intertwined their arms together.
“Ready, daddy.” she smiled back at everyone before taking a deep breath in.
The music had started playing and seconds later the church doors slowly started to open. They took their first step together and we followed behind her at the same pace.
Kelia looked so adorable tossing the white roses down the aisle as we continued walking down the red carpet. I wish I could take pictures of my own right now, I always want to take pictures and videos of whatever it is she is doing.
I looked up to see Matty standing in the front row end side, and he looked really good in is suit. Sexy, is a better word for it. I want to rip his clothes off right now and take him right here. He had the biggest smirk on his face. Could he be thinking the same thing? Slowly, but faster than I expected we are getting back to our old selves, and I’m really excited to see what our future holds for us. All this wedding planning has made me want to get married, but I’m far too young for marriage and my career is about to improve times five.
“Can I have this dance?” Matty held out both of his hands, one towards me and one towards Kelia.
“I don’t know, what do you say mom?” Kelia stopped dancing with me and glanced at me with a funny look on her face.
“Eh, I guess we can squeeze you in here.” I winked at him before parting my hand with Kelia’s and we welcomed him to join our dancing group.
We danced in circles with each other for what seemed to be hours, instead it was only an hour until What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong had come on and everyone had cleared for the father daughter dance and gathered to watch.
We spent the rest of the wedding laughing and talking about memories while drinking sparkling champagne. I loved being around these people, and for once in my life I didn’t even have to give a second thought about what the paparazzi would see.
“Congratulations, Allen! I’m so proud of you.” I hugged him tightly.
“Thank you, Kiera. I really can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her.”
“I know, and you will.” I parted ways from him.
“Congrats, bro. You’re a married man, now.” Matty brought Allen in for a man hug.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.” they separated.
“You know what this means?” Matty asked.
“Now you guys get to have the real arguments.” he chuckled.
“Oh yeah, I cannot wait. I’m so excited.” he said sarcastically.
“Have you seen Roxy? Kelia is getting tired and we wanted to say bye before heading out.”
“Yeah, she is over there by the cake. Thank you for coming and being apart of this perfect experience for me and making it the best it could, all three of you.” Allen bent his knees and hugged Kelia.
“I’m going to go find Roxy, do you want to go start the car?” I asked Matty.
“Yeah, go ahead babe.” he leaned in and kissed my cheek before I left.