Finding Home

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Chapter Four

“It’s so good to be home.” Kelia ran into the house as we unlocked the door.

“You’re telling me.” I laughed at her.

“We’ll get the rest of your things out of the car tomorrow. It’s bedtime, Kelia.” I shouted so she could hear me before she ran away.

She stopped running and turned around with a sad look on her face, “But mom! I’m six years old now shouldn’t my bedtime go up some minutes?”

“How many minutes are you thinking?”

“Fifty.” she twirled her hair around her finger with a grin on her face.

“You thought wrong.” I started laughing, “Half hour and that’s it.”

“Yes! I get to rub in Noah’s face that I go to bed at a half hour later.” she started walking away.

“Once that clock hits seven thirty you better be in bed with your pj’s on.” I shouted.

“That was nice of you.” Matty stood up from petting Duma.


“You actually said yes to her staying up past seven.” he chuckled as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Yeah, I guess I just never want her to grow up.”

“Oh please, it’s going to be a love hate relationship without a doubt. She has your attitude, which will and will not become super annoying having twice the tude around here. But you’re also going to love being able to take her to get your nails done together or going shopping and hiding the receipts from me.” he hugged me tightly.

“Yeah, what about when she starts learning about sex? She’s only two years away from being taught project k.n.o.w.” I wasn’t going to lie, I’m stressing her growing up. I have to somehow make my way into her soul and somehow help her realize that she shouldn’t be having sex at all while still in school and under our roof.

Hypocritical, I know. But I have to make my sure my baby doesn’t have her own baby before she’s ready.

“Yeah, I’ve been avoiding that topic of conversation. I’m sure we will figure it out, even if it means entering her into an all girls school.”

“That’ll only make her more rebellious, Matteo.” I giggled.

“Pause.” he leaned in close to my ear, “I like when you call me Matteo; like I really like it.”

“Yeah?” I lightly moaned into his ear as he started nibbling softly on my ear lobe and neck. “Do you want to take this to the bedroom when Kelia goes to sleep, Matteo?”

“Fuck yeah.” he whispered seductively while biting the corner of his lip. “But what about Caroline’s rules? She said no intimacy.”

“Ewww!” Kelia screeched.

Matty and I stopped kissing and we turned to see her covering her eyes with a humongous smile on her face. In sync, we both started laughing in each other’s arms. I didn’t break eye contact with Kelia, “Rules are meant to be broken, Matteo.”

“What are you doing, mommy? He’s going to give you cooties! You said no kissing until marriage!” she laughed with us.


We weren’t even married and we have a child. We’ve done more than kiss.

Which I don’t mind, everything I own and earn is just as much his and Kelia’s. And I could never forget when he helped me and rescued me when I was in need of a knight in shining armor.

I also don’t really mind that he hasn’t proposed yet, even though technically we’ve been together for six years.

Come to think of it, were we even together when I thought he was dead?

I never slept with another man, god I could never bring myself to do that yet. I was mourning, heavily.

“Yes Princess, that’s what we said.” Matty smirked at me.

“Are you guys getting married?” she started jumping up and down in excitement. She looked so happy at the thought of us getting married, I couldn’t help but smile at the thought. But at the stage we are in, I don’t think that marriage is even thought to be on the table right now.

Matty separated his body from mine and walked to Kelia where he picked her up and rested her on his hip and whispered something into her ear low enough to where I couldn’t hear.

What are you up to, Matty?

“You know, secrets don’t make friends.” I tried getting their attention but Kelia’s smile just grew wider and wider as he continued whispering in her ear.

“You mean it, daddy?”

“I mean it, Princess.” he kissed her cheek and set her down on the floor.

“I want to know the secret!” I childishly begged.

I couldn’t help it.

“Sorry, it’s squad code to not tell secrets.” Kelia shrugged her shoulders and walked away without another word.

“Why don’t you get your pj’s on and we can make you a late night snack before bed?”

“Okay!” she disappeared into the hallway.

“Squad code?” I raised an eyebrow at Matty.

“Sorry, squad code is squad code babe.” he chuckled lightly.

“Whatever, I don’t want to know anyways.” I crossed my arms above my chest and started throwing a hissy fit.

“Yes, you do.” Matty teased as he poked my side playfully.

I tried pulling away from him to escape from the tickling that I knew was about to start but he had me in his grasp the second he touched me.

He playfully pecked my face with small kisses while hugging me. “Can I ask you something babe?”

I noticed his body posture loosened and his face grew softer rather than with a huge smirk on his face, “Of course.”

Just as Matty was about to speak, Kelia walked in the room with her personal made pink fuzzy robe and he stopped what he was about to say from coming out.

He grew a fake smile on his face while looking at Kelia, “We should talk about it in the bedroom.”

He walked away.

Who does he think he is?

You don’t ask someone if they can ask you something and then not ask. That’s like immediately asking for anyone’s anxiety to kick in, you just don’t do it. Then to walk away?

I walked in the opposite direction and walked into the kitchen to look in the cupboards on what she could possibly snack on.

“Popcorn it is.” I grabbed the box of extra buttery popcorn and I unwrapped the package angrily. My mind is going back to that place where I begin to have doubts about everything. I was thinking maybe with the small progress we made over this small vacation and with the intimate moment we had only moments ago that maybe we will make it through this stronger than ever. But now my doubts are right back to where they were. .

“Mmm, is that popcorn?” Kelia walked in the room with her nose in the air and Matty behind her.

“You know it is, I was thinking you could fall asleep to a movie tonight of your choice with a bowl of popcorn and milk?”

“Yeah that sounds relaxing, I’ve had a rough time the past few days.” she began massaging her neck as if she had any kind of aches.

“Would you look at that.” Matty smirked at me. “Talk about overdramatic, we have ourselves a mini you.”

“What? I never acted like that.” I was playing innocent. I know what monster I’ve created in my daughter. The dramatic tones coursing through her veins and invading every inch of her body was mostly me.

“Uh huh, sure you didn’t. I vaguely remember you screaming ouch when you fell onto the floor covered in layers of pillows and you saying ‘Wait that didn’t even hurt.’” he teased with a smile on his face.

“Whatever, I don’t recall.”

“Uh huh, I don’t recall.” he mocked me with a funny face as Kelia laughed at him.

I was saved by the microwave dinger going off and I opened the door to grab the steaming hot bag. I kept my back towards them so I didn’t have to see the squad making fun of me, even though I know it’s completely out of love.

But it’s so nice seeing the father of my daughter, our daughter, finally in her life and it’s so heartwarming to see that she is going to grow up with her father in her life.

“What powder do you want? We have salty, hazelnut, caramel, and cheddar.”

“Caramel, duh.”

“It’d be a shame if I put salty instead of caramel, wouldn’t it?” I raised an eyebrow at her to tease her.

“Oh gosh, no way Jose. I don’t want it then.” she shook her head in disgust.

“Uh huh, go ahead and grab your cup from the washer and I’ll pour you some juice.” I laughed at how dramatic she actually is.

“What did you need to ask me earlier?” I rubbed my freshly waxed legs with my strawberry burst body hydration while Matty watched me prep myself to go to shower from the bed.

“Right, uh,” he took a deep breath in and stopped staring at my legs, “Do you want more, more-uh-more, kids?”

I was taken by surprise by the question. I thought he would’ve asked me something like allowing his brother to come stay with us for a bit or maybe that he wanted to start working or talk about when we get old. Not babies.

But I do want more kids, in the future.

“Kind of, yeah.” I don’t think we are in the right mindset at the moment to even be thinking about babies. You should be both mentally and physically ready for a baby and I don’t think either of us are in that right state of mind.

“Kind of?”

“Well, yeah, in the future.” I can’t lie to him.

“How far in the future? I’ve had baby fever so bad since I got back.” but he’s been so angry towards me, which confuses me even more. One minute he hates me for kissing Luka and the next minute he wants to be all up under me kissing every inch of my face.

“My career is only just now starting to bloom, so maybe around twenty five—twenty six.” I was trying to sound as nice as I could.

“Yeah, but you do want more kids in the future for sure?”

“Of course, I’m thinking two or three more.” I looked over my shoulder to come face to face with him. He had the biggest grin set on his face and his eyes were filled with happiness.

I turned around in my extra large bath tub and I stood in front of him, “I’ll tell you what. Let’s see how it goes with this movie, and see how what mental state we are in at the time, then we will see if it’s the right time to start trying. Deal?”

He leaned in and slammed his lips to mine, “Deal.”

“I love you.” I said in between each kiss while he repeatedly kept pecking his lips to mine.

“I love you, so much.” he lifted me onto his waist without breaking our kiss and he started massaging the shape of my body while walking backwards to the bed. “I’m sorry for being an asshole since I’ve come home.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” I slammed my lips to his and our tongues exchanged the same sparks we felt when we first made out; right before we created Kelia. I missed him so much. I hadn’t even realized how much I missed him because of the state we are in right now.

Matty lightly sat himself on the edge of the bed and attempted to squeeze every inch of my butt cheeks into the palms of his hands. He lifted me lightly from his waist and he inserted himself into me. I felt the sparks start racing through my hotspot and spreading throughout my entire body. I really was blessed with him, sexual or not.

“Fuck.” I moaned into his ear as I started grinding my waist up and down the river on him.

He began kissing my neck while he held a handful of my hair with one hand and my butt cheek fat with the other. His lips were soft and plump and they were leaving tiny kisses anywhere on my body that they were able to travel to. “You’re so fucking sexy, baby.”

“You want to take this to the shower, Matteo?” I whispered seductively in his ear before nibbling on his pierced ear lobe.

Without any verbal answer, he lifted himself into the air while he was still deep inside of me and fucked me while walking out of the bathtub and to the large walk in spa shower. He clicked the touchscreen to start the shower nozzles and all seven shower heads turned on with steaming hot water.

He kept my legs wrapped around his waist as he continued to fuck me in the air while holding me tightly and the water had started trickling down our bodies. “Fuck baby, you’re so fucking tight.” he began to slow down as he was close to his climax.

“Mama didn’t raise a quitter.” I forced him with my hand on his chin to make eye contact with my lustful eyes.

He moved me from the corner wall of the shower and he laid me down on my back beneath the waterfall from the shower heads without letting himself slip out of me and he started sucking on my nipples before he grabbed ahold of my hips and started pounding his pelvis into mine as fast and hard as he could.

It felt so amazing that I let out a loud moan and I was sure I would’ve woken Kelia from her sleep. After moving at a good thirty seconds of him penetrating me like thumper thumping his foot on a fallen log I pushed against his chest with the palm of my hand and he fell backwards. I positioned myself on top of him and I started slowly moving up and down before picking up speed.

If only I knew how to move my ass back when City Girl’s had their twerking competition for their song Twerk.

He held his hands on my hips and helped me move further up and would slam me down on his boner every other time I moved up. He started sucking and tonguing my nipple while I continued moving up and down and he started to moan lightly under his breath while his breathing started to pick up the pace.

“I’m coming, baby.” suddenly I felt the warm liquid fill my entire vagina and he moved me up and down slowly on his penis while he continued pumping inside of me.

He kissed me with a smile on his face once he held me in place. I lifted myself off him after and I stood up in the waterfall with my hand out to help him up from the marble floor.

We washed our hair quickly and made our way to bed as fast as we could. My girls always talk about how the best sex puts a man to sleep immediately after but I never knew what they were talking about. But now, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. As soon as Matty hit the bed and covered himself with the comforter he was knocked out. He didn’t even plug in our phones or request anything to eat.

“Babe.” I sat on the edge of the bed in front of his fetal positioned body.

He moaned while covering his head with the pillow.

“Can you listen just for a second, Matteo?” he immediately uncovered his head from the pillow.

I knew that’d work.

“Yes, mi amor?” he placed his hand on my waist.

“You think you could pick Kelia up from school tomorrow? I’m going to be at set all day and I don’t know what time we are going to get out.”

“What time?”

“Two fifteen, if not I can have Roxy take her home with her.” I rubbed my hand through his hair softly.

“No, its okay. I can do that.” he kissed the top of my hand.

“Thanks, babe.” I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before standing up to go make sure all of the doors were locked and the alarm was set.

I wish Matty and I had started out like this; happy and lustful. I haven’t had any sexual intercourse with anyone but myself. I understand Matty’s statement completely--how he sees me as his. I see myself as his, too. Not because I have brought his daughter into the world but because I truly love him and I believe he truly believes me. But instead we went from level zero to one hundred so quick that we hadn’t even taken the time to recognize how much we actually missed each other.

We’ve been through so much together, and it’s beyond a friendship at this point. We are soul mates and I honestly believe that in my heart. And I will forever make sure that Kelia knows that we were soul mates from the beginning of it all.

“I love you, goodnight.” Matty held his arm open with the comforter to allow me in and he greeted me with a kiss on the cheek.

“I love you too, goodnight.” I turned my head to give him a quick goodnight kiss before closing my eyes to fall asleep.

I woke up to my alarm going off and the sound of it vibrating on the hard surface. I always woke up before Kelia and Matty when I had to be to the set. Matty always tagged along to take Kelia to school, part of the squad rules. I always like to show up to set early so I can get a few rehearsals in with Luka, and for that reason Garrett or Rickey drive her to school.

Of course, everyone think’s we are crazy for showing up at seven in the morning when we don’t technically have to be there until nine. But, practice makes perfect. And we want perfect.

I had gone for my morning jog with Duma and we had made it back to the house just in time for me to be able to shower and get ready for the day. I never go into the office looking fashionable, I guess it’s time I change that. It’s my first day back and I’m sure the paps are going to be super excited to get a few shots of me before I enter the building.

Yo we still on for this mornin?

Yeah I’m pulling out of my driveway now. You there yet?

Yep and I already got the coffee started for you.

My lifesaver thank God! See you soon.

Can’t wait.

I had driven to work faster than normal. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to be back at work rather than walking around New York City with a child and playing childish games on live television. I had pulled into the parking lot where I was greeted by the gateman with my daily packages and I parked in my reserved parking space.

“You’re back!” Luka greeted me at the door with a huge hug that I didn’t have time to prepare for. “I missed you so much.”

“Yeah,” I could barely breathe he was squeezing me so tightly, “Luka, I can barely breath.”

“Right, sorry. How was the rest of your vacation? I saw the cake on Insta.” he turned around and returned to face me with a coffee mug.

“It was fun, Kelia and Matty really enjoyed it.” he handed me the cup of warm coffee and I took a light sip.

“What’d you do while on your little vacation?” I walked over to my dressing room door and he followed me.

“Met up with some old friends and mostly smoked while out there.”

“Smoked? You’re smoking cigarettes now?” I stopped walking and gave him my scolding face that I use on Kelia.

“Hell no, baby. Only that loud.” he laughed at me.

“Luka,” I should tell him he can’t call me that, I feel it’s disrespectful to Matty even though we aren’t the relationship goal we sought out to be. I don’t want Matty thinking that Luka and I are something that we aren’t because we aren’t anything anymore. We were never really anything in the first place.

And I certainly would not approve of another female calling him babe or baby, or any pet name for that matter.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, I just feel like we haven’t talked in forever.” he said softly.

“I thought we could be cool, you know, friends. But if you don’t think you’re able to do that due to your feelings, then I totally understand if you want to cut all ties with me.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Really, I like being friends with you.” he smirked at me, “losing you would be the worst mistake I’d ever make.”

“Okay, good. Because we are only friends, and I’m with Matty.” I reassured him pleasantly before walking away.

“Yeah, how could I possibly forget.” I heard him mumble under his breath but I pretended I didn’t hear anything and continued walking into my dressing room.

“You ready to rehearse?” I set my purse and coffee mug on my coffee table and plopped myself on the couch with my knees to my chest after I grabbed the script from my bag.

“Ready as you are.” he plopped himself on the opposite corner of the couch and he relaxed his arm on the back of the couch.

“Okay, we left off on scene thirteen. Go ahead and start.” I began skimming the scene scripture while I waited for him to start.

The movie was based on a comedy romance and sometimes it was honestly so hard to not laugh mid line. It was even harder doing it with Luka, who is the ultimate actor in comedy.

We spent the next hour and a half going over our lines and we practiced until we were interrupted by Jenny and Carlos.

It only took five takes to get scene thirteen done, and we even finished fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, and half of seventeen. We usually finish ten to twelve scenes a day, which is how we managed to get so far in such little time. But our next scene had to be shot early in the morning so we had to cut it short at four and a half scenes rather than the ten minimum.

“How was work?” Matty was sitting at the edge of the bed playing the video game with an annoyed look on his face.

“We managed to finish four scenes today, you’re going to love it.”

“Yeah, I’m going to love watching my girlfriend kiss the guy that she had a thing with.” he snarked at me without breaking eye contact with the game.

“Is there something wrong?” I was confused. I left the house this morning on very good terms with him.

“I don’t know Kiera, is there something wrong?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking what the problem is.” Is he serious?

“Kelia and I had a great day together, I was going to finish the night off with video games and a drink until you got home but then I got a bunch of notifications and comments from an article about how you and Luka have a thing; still.” he set the controller on the bed and looked at me.

“Wh-wh-what?” I was confused, no, irritable. Nobody knows about Luka and I kissing. There were articles that we were hanging out and we were caught in a few outings together. But nobody really can confirm anything other than we’ve been hanging out and that’s it.

“Yeah, it’s crazy. I wasn’t going to click the link but when I read it I saw a close friend actually leaked some information. Some stuff about Hawaii and kissing?” he stood up from the bed and stood in place.

“What do you mean? I told you him and I aren’t a thing anymore. Are you trying to call me a liar?” I am. I am such a liar and I am not proud of it whatsoever. I’m not lying about Luka and I being nothing but I was lowkey feeling Luka before Matty came back.

I’m such a horrible person.

“I don’t know, are you lying to me Kiera? This person sure knew a lot of details about the way your body language was with him.” Matty’s voice got slightly louder.

“Nothing is happening, Matty. I told you nothing has happened.” I said at the same voice level as his.

“I am giving you the chance now, to tell me if anything else is or has happened.” he took a step forward and his entire face was red with anger, “I’ve brought myself to terms if you would want to be with him, he was here when I wasn’t.”

“No, nothing has happened. Nothing will ever happen with another guy as long as you’re around for the long-haul,” is what I wanted to say. “We kissed. I already told you everything there is to know. I’m not going to lie to you.” is what I actually said.

Matty went from angry to sad immediately. I saw heartbreak take over his body posture along with his facial expressions. “I really hate hearing you say that aloud. Are you sure there wasn’t anything else that you wanted to tell me?”

“No, I swear.” I feel this awful gut feeling like I’m going to vomit any second. “And he would sleep over sometimes but that’s all it was. Sleep.” there is no logical reason to cover any of it up anymore. He’s crossed a line twice now that I’ve thought he’d never cross.

“You just lied to me, I think this is the first time you’ve ever lied to me.” I didn’t lie. Not really.

“I haven’t had sex with anyone else, Matteo!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. Now I’m angry. And now I’m leaving this house before I catch myself saying something I don’t mean. “It was only a kiss! His dick did not enter my vagina! I don’t know what more you want from me, damn it!”

“Obviously it was more than a kiss, Kiera. Is that why you lied? Because he helped you get into the movie this way?” he shouted a bit louder, but Kelia couldn’t hear us yet.

But did he actually just say that? Does he really think that I flirted my way into this movie and that I’m not talented enough to get into it on my own?

“You were gone for five fucking years, Matty. And it was a few kisses, fucking kissing, Matty! And I told him it would never happen again.” I don’t care how loud I am anymore. I am beyond pissed. “But thank you, for saying I’m not talented enough to get into the movie on my own.”

I grabbed my keys from my purse that I hadn’t yet put down and I walked out of the room without another word.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Matty followed behind me while shouting.

“No, I got it Matty. I’m sorry you went through what you did, but you left me. You left me for five years, and I still stayed loyal to you even after I thought you were dead for crying out loud. We kissed and he slept over, and that was it.”

“You deliberately lied to me, you never fucking lied to me.” he continued following me to the front door. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I opened the front door and slammed it shut behind me to make sure he didn’t follow behind me.

I had one destination in mind.

The only other person who knew about that night in Hawaii.


He only lived a good five minutes away when traffic wasn’t bad.

“Hey Siri, call Luka.” I said into my car speaker.

“Calling Luka, mobile phone.” Siri said through the Bluetooth speakers.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hey, you home?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“I was thinking we could go over tomorrow’s scene. Matty is gone for the night with Kelia.” I’m lying so much now. I never used to lie.

“Yeah, come through. I’ll let Ron know you’re coming.” I heard the happiness in his voice.

“Great. See you then.” I hung up.

“Hey, girl.” Luka opened the door and greeted me with a smile.

“Hey.” I fake smiled.

“You want anything to drink or eat while we go over our lines?”

“I didn’t come over here to go over our lines.”

“Okay? What’s up?” he lit a blunt that was stuck in his ear.

“Did you tell anyone about our kiss in Hawaii?”

“Who would I tell?” he blew out a huge cloud of smoke.

“I don’t know, Luka. Maybe you tipped off a reporter or told one of your pals?” I snarked at him.

“Woah,” he took a puff of his burning blunt. “Are you calling me a snitch?”

“How else would anyone find out?”

“I don’t know, the paps? You know it’s what they do.” he snarked back at me.

“Right, but how could they possibly know about us? There’s no way.”

“I don’t know dude.” he shrugged me off. He doesn’t get to do that. If he were any friend of mine he wouldn’t shrug me off. He began walking towards the kitchen that I know too well and I followed behind him.

“Is this because I chose Matty?” I’m fucking on one right now.

“Excuse me?” he stopped walking and turned around to face me. “Please say whatever it is that you have to say because this half ass questions game is getting annoying. You’re my best friend, bro. If you really think that I’d tip off the paps about our first kiss because you chose another dude over me, then that’s all you and you’re not who I thought you were.”

“W-w-w-well... who did it then?” nobody else knows about our kiss that night. My girls don’t even know about Luka and I exchanging a few kisses here and there. Like I said before, everyone only knows what we want them to know. And that’s only being seen out in public a few times.

“Couldn’t tell you.” he began walking away again. “If you aren’t here to rehearse your line and you don’t need anything else then you can leave.”

Okay, I don’t blame him for being angry. If he really sees me as his best friend then I really fucked up this time. I shouldn’t have just stormed in there rudely and accused him. What I should’ve done was walk in sweetly and butter him up before asking nicely if he was the one who tipped off the paps.

My dignity is already too low, I’d be a fool to not leave now. Especially when he basically just told me to leave his home. I really messed up this time.

“Whatever. See you tomorrow at work.” I exited the front door and slammed it shut without another word.

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