This past weekend had been a blast. We took Duma for a walk in the dog park. We rented out a Yacht for a night and even stayed out at sea until we had to leave the following morning. We made love, a lot. We spent the weekend getting to know each other most importantly. But I missed Kelia every second of it. To say I was excited to pick her up this morning, was an understatement.
Matty and I had really rekindled this past weekend, I’d like to say. And I’m sure he would agree with me, too. Sure, we were arguing horribly before this weekend. But I believe that after these past few days, we are are going to be better than ever. Between the drinking, fucking, and finally talking to each other without worry that there were ears around, I’d say we were ready to move forward.
We even talked about Matty getting a job so he wasn’t stuck home all day in his thoughts alone but he insisted that he stay home with Kelia until he felt he was ready. And we both came to terms that it was the best idea until he was right in the head and until he feels it’s time to go back into the workforce.
I snuck into the bathroom with my purse and I locked the door behind me before grabbing a tiny bottle of Tequila from a not so hidden but hidden pocket and I took a small shot of it straight from the tiny bottle. I shook my head as the awful taste spread throughout my mouth and I felt my intestines start to warm up as it swooshed its way down my torso.
I tilted my head back before finishing the bottle with the one mouthful and I had to mentally prepare myself for the burn I’m about to feel. I quickly washed my mouth out with spearmint mouthwash, I stuck a piece of mint gum in my mouth, and I made my way to the kitchen.
I guess I’ve grown to like alcohol very much, because it didn’t burn as bad as I thought it would.
“Hey babe, you ready to go?” Matty greeted me at the open wooden arch and he wrapped his hands around my waist with a smirk on his face.
“Yeah, I actually asked Ricky and Garrett to drive us today. Maybe we could stop at the park or something?” I wrapped my hands around his muscular neck and pecked my lips to his while smiling.
“You sure? I could drive for us.”
“The press is all over me so I have to take them everywhere with us, and I want to go out with my daughter and her handsome father. Is there a problem with that?” I smirked at him.
He leaned his head back with a smile on his face, “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too. You ready?” I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket.
We’re out front.
“Yeah, can we bring Duma?” he quickly kissed me and walked into the living room.
I felt my phone vibrate again as I followed Matty into the living room.
Ricky said bring chips!! He’s calling code red. Hahahahaha
God! Him and his chips🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Be out in a sec just grabbing Duma!
“Yeah, I don’t see a problem with that.”
“I’m just going to grab the keys then we can head out.” Matty walked towards the kitchen with Duma on her leash.
“Babe, can you grab the chips?” I shouted into the kitchen.
“For Ricky?” he shouted back to me.
“Duh, who else would they be for?” I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s only been home for such a short period of time but he knows just about everything there is to know about my surrounding characters. He knows that Ricky loves potato chips. He knows that Kelia likes to visit the big big city as much as she gets the chance to. He knows that Garrett has to have his right hand touching a wall if he is walking near one. And he knows that Duma likes to run in the morning before she is fed her soup. I love how observant he is.
“Ready, baby?” Matty startled me by placing his arm around my shoulders from behind.
“Ready.” I wrapped my arms around his torso and laid my head on his chest as we walked out of the front door and locked up.
I lightly knocked on the large white front door and waited beside Matty and Duma for the door to swing open. “You know I love you, right?” I heard Matty say beside me.
I couldn’t help but let the blood fill my face and smile as our eyes met, “You know I love you too, right?” Our bodies slowly connected while we waited for the door to be unlocked and we playfully but seductively connected our lips together. After this very long weekend we served together I can honestly say that I can’t keep my hands off him. Selena sang it herself. Can’t keep my hands to myself, I mean I could but why would I want to?
“You guys had the whole weekend to yourselves, I would’ve thought you got all of the sex out of your systems by today?” we were startled by Allen in the open doorway.
“Sorry we’re late.” Matty’s face started to turn crimson red. “Duma got held up chasing after a squirrel.”
Allen glanced at me and then at Matty, “Uh huh. Sure, come in. Kelia has been waiting for you guys.”
“Mommy! Daddy!” Kelia greeted us as soon as we walked into the house with a warm tight hug around our waists.
“Hi princess, how was tío Allen’s?” I knelt down and smiled at her.
“I was sworn to secrecy, I can’t tell you.”
“No? And why is that?” I glanced at Allen. “What does he have up his sleeve?”
“Can’t I just tell her already?” she stressfully through her head back, “You know how hard it is keeping secrets from her, tío!”
“Yeah, you know how hard it is keeping secrets from me. Don’t you Allen?” I looked at him and stood up straight before facing him.
“Listen,” he started panicking, “We just need to wait until Roxy gets in here.”
“Well, Roxy is here.” she walked into the living room where we all were standing. “And I’ve got news!”
“Yeah? What’s up?” Matty chuckled at her excitement.
“Kiera, can we talk?” she glanced at me with excitement.
“Yeah, sure. Lead the way.”
Something was up, I didn’t know what. But something was up.
I followed her down their hallway and into their master bedroom that was nicely cleaned. “What’s going on Roxy?”
“Just wait.” she walked towards her walk-in closet door.
“We’re going to your closet to talk?”
“Just wait.” she turned around with a sparkling smile on her face, “You ready?”
“Ready for what?” maybe they finally got a dog. I’ve been telling them to get a dog since they moved out here so we could take Duma and their fur baby for walks, but they for some reason have always said no. Having a canine best friend is the best thing that could ever happen in your life. And you can never have too many dogs.
“I know it’s still a little early, but we couldn’t help ourselves.”
“What’s goin-,” she opened the door and that’s when I put two and two together.
I saw a boxed crib in the corner of the room, the walls were almost done being painted with clouds and different flocks of birds in the sky.
“You’re having a baby?” I couldn’t help but start to tear up from the excitement building up inside of me.
“We’re having a baby!” she screeched in excitement with her arms pried out for a hug.
“Oh my gosh, Roxy! Congratulations!” I hugged her tightly. “How far along are you?”
“Thirteen weeks, we might be able to find out the gender in a few weeks. We wanted to wait until we got out of the first trimester before we told anyone about it.”
We pulled our bodies away from each other and I started to examine the room, “I’m assuming this is what you needed Kelia’s help with?”
“Well that, and we saw the articles on Twitter. So we figured you could use the weekend for each other.”
“You saw those?” of course she saw them, everyone saw them.
“Was it you?”
I pressed my lips together and looked away from her without saying a word.
“What’s going on with you lately? Talk to me.”
“I just really miss Maria, a lot these past few weeks.” I felt my voice about to crack if I talked anymore.
“I can help, but only if you let me.”
“I just don’t know what I’m fighting for, anymore.”
“With Matty? Or work?”
“It doesn’t even matter.” I walked out of the nursery and into their bedroom. I could hear her following behind me, “I don’t do this for myself anymore. I do it for my family, I’m doing this all for my family.”
“And you think that drinking is the best idea for it? You think I can’t smell it on you right now?” she said softly.
“How do you know?” I looked at her confused. I mouth washed and I used a piece of gum. If she could smell it, so could Matty and Kelia.
“I call it one of my special pregnancy powers. You know, Kelia has noticed a change in you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just think you’re drinking a little too much, and you were caught out with a blunt in your hand, too. Maybe you should take a vacation or take a break from work before you have a fall.”
“Gosh.” I muttered to myself as I shook my head in the palm of my resting hand.
“What? I’m just trying to look out for you.”
“I don’t get it, I don’t get what the big deal is with everyone and me drinking a little bit.” I stepped away from Roxy.
Here I am, having my perfect day ruined.
“You don’t get it?” she looked at me confused.
“My life is a mess, Roxy. I got pregnant at fifteen the first time I had sex and had a baby at sixteen, my parents disowned me and kicked me out leaving me to move in with my boyfriend at fifteen, I had my own personal stalker, I started getting this whole fame thing when I was only in the twelfth grade, and my boyfriend slash the father of my child went missing for four and a half years. Since when is it a crime to take the edge off?”
“Since your daughter started asking Matty, Allen, and I why you’ve been acting the way you’ve been acting.” she spat nicely at me.
“It happens, it’s what comes with this stupid job in the first place. And I planned on taking a long summer vacation after the movie was done shooting. We only have a few more scenes left, then everything can go back to normal.”
“Yeah, until you get another great opportunity and you have to do all three things again. And I’m sure Matty is going to start going to school or get a job to help you out, if you have to sit one out then sit one out. Don’t go killing yourself over two jobs if you have the choice to only do one.”
“Yeah, except I think I’m done with acting. I’ll stick with the modeling.” I took a deep breath as everything started to hit me from the past events in my life. My life didn’t start going down this route until I accepted the movie offer. My life is circling down the drain and I’m almost out of water to hold onto.
“Yeah, I think all actors and actresses say that their first movie. You’ll get used to it, just start out small at first then work your way up. And you’re stuck being a parent so that is at the top of your list.”
“Yeah. I love her so much, you know.” my voice cracked and the tears started to drown my eyes but I was trying my hardest to not let them fall.
“Everyone including her, knows that.” she said softly.
“Come on, go into the bathroom and fix your makeup with whatever you can find in the bathroom and I’ll meet you in the living room with everyone else. You’re a great mother and girlfriend, you’ll get this.” she hugged me with a smile on her face, “Love you.”
“Can you, uh, not mention this to Matty or Allen?”
“Girl code, duh.” she let go of me and walked towards the door.
“Go ahead and hurry, I’ll tell them you were on the phone with your manager.” she exited the doorway and disappeared.
“Fuck.” I muttered to myself as I wiped the tears from my eye sockets and I pulled my purse from her bed and quickly sifted through the bag to find another small bottle of alcohol.
I’ll stop drinking, after today.
I took a small sip of the coconut Ciroc and it burned very little so I took another small sip before screwing the lid back on and stuffing it deep into my purse. I scurried to the bathroom with my phone and purse in my hand with my head down and I locked the door behind me.
I sifted through the counter drawer filled with makeup and I grabbed her concealer and eyeliner trying my hardest to make myself look as good as I did before. And I may or may not have taken the liberty of taking a few shots of mouthwash before leaving the bathroom and making my way down the hallway into the living room where everyone else was socializing.
“Hey babe,” Matty grew an instant shining smile on his face as soon as I walked into the room, “You ready to go to the park?”
“Yeah, did they tell you the news?” I smiled at him.
“Yay! She told her! Now I can talk about my cousin!” Kelia started jumping up and down in excitement.
“Cousin?” Matty looked at everyone in the room with a confused look.
“We’re pregnant.” Allen wrapped his arm around Roxy’s waist and kissed her cheek.
“No kidding, congratulations guys!” Matty looked so happy for them, but deep down I knew he was upset that it wasn’t us saying that we were pregnant. We just aren’t there yet. We’ve only just began this long journey that is to be ahead of us. We’ve got our whole lives to make babies and adopt little ones. There is no need to rush another baby.
“Thanks, man.” Allen separated from Roxy and gave Matty a friendly but causal man hug.
“That’s so great, congrats Roxy. You’ll be a great mother, you already treat Kelia like your own.”
“Daddy, does this mean I’ll get to have sleep overs with my cousin?”
“Yes, you’ll get to have tons of sleep overs with your cousin.” he smiled as he picked Kelia up and rested her head on his shoulder. “Do you know the gender yet?”
“Not yet, couple weeks and we should know.” she rubbed her stomach and as she flattened the sweatshirt you could see her small bump.
“Congratulations, guys. If anyone deserves it, it’s you two.” Matty said.
“Can we throw the gender reveal?” I asked.
“We actually don’t want to know until it’s here, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a boy.”
“Not me, I think it’s going to be a girl.” Allen added.
“Well congratulations to the both of you, but we better head out. We want to beat the press to the park so we can at least get some ice cream before being trampled by them.” Matty was holding Kelia and we walked towards the door with Duma.
“Right, and sis?”
“Yeah?” I turned around before exiting the front door.
“Take it easy. Love you.”
I smiled at him, “Thanks. Love you, too.”
We made our way to the van by each others sides and when we got into the vehicle it was already cooled down. The park was only a few minutes away from Allen’s house which made me happy to be close by somewhere that is a safe haven.
“I had so much fun today, mommy. It’s been forever since we went to the park.”
“Dude, it was like last weekend when we last went.” I laughed at her exaggeration.
“Yeah, and it was way too long.” she tucked herself into bed and took a sip of her water bottle.
“Yeah, I guess so. We have to go more often, and we will once mommy finishes her movie.” I tucked a loose strand of her extra curly brown hair behind her ear.
“Will you read me a story?”
“A short one, then it’s bed time. You have school in the morning and I go back to work.”
“Okay!” she laid her head down on her diamond pillow.
“Once upon a time there was a young princess who lived in a big, big white castle with her parents who were king and queen of the kingdom and beyond. She had a beautiful voice and her fashion is what made her stick out the most from everyone else in the kingdom and she was the nicest gal you could ever speak with. She was going out for a late night walk after a huge argument with her parents about where she wanted to go for her quinceañera and she had run into a pack of dangerous wolves who wanted to hurt her badly. But luckily enough, there was a knight in shining armor following her in case anything had happened and he saved her from being hurt badly.” I glanced at her to see if she was asleep yet but there was no luck yet.
“He gave her a ride on his black stallion to the castle before galloping away into the night, without a name to be said. She made it her mission from there on out to find out who he was and choose him to be her prince charming, her knight in shining armor. Day and night, she spent asking around the kingdom if anyone knew of any man of the sort but nobody knew anything. Which lead her to her last resort.” I paused to see Kelia starting to slowly fall asleep.
“She lead herself into the woods late at night again, only hoping he would follow her into the woods this time again, and she stayed there all night until she saw any sign of him.” she’s asleep, I started slowly rubbing her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead.
“He never showed, but after four years of leaving every night to find him he finally showed again when the princess was in danger by another pack of wolves. He fought off the pack of wolves again, and saved her life, again. Only this time, she took his metal shiny helmet off to see the most handsome man she would ever lay her eyes on. And they lived happily ever after.” I slowly sat up from her bed and walked out of her room after I shut off her big light and shut the door enough to only show a small crack in the doorway.
“Are we going to live happily ever after?” I was startled to see Matty’s silhouette standing beside Kelia’s door in the dark.
“Jeez, you scared me.” I wrapped my arms around his lower torso. “And for your question? I hope so, I can’t lose you again.”
“I love you and Kelia so much.” he kissed the side of my head, “Come on. We had a long day and I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
“I’m so tired I feel like I can’t even walk.” I joked.
“Not a problem, your knight and shining armor is here to the rescue.” he playfully picked me up with one of his hands behind my knees and the other on my lower back.
I tilted my head back as he carried me into the bedroom and I let the small portioned wind hit my face, “You know I could smell it on your breath all day, right?”
I lifted my head and looked at him, “Smell what?”
“You know what.” he glanced at me.
“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t say anything else. It’s not like I could explain to anyone about what’s going on in my head and not be judged for it. Roxy says I can speak to her about what’s going on in my life but she was so quick to judge me earlier when I did open up to her. My life hasn’t been easy. My job is constantly being judged by everyone else in the world. I don’t need the people I trust the most doing the exact same thing.
My life is based off judgement and I’m getting sick of it.
“Can I ask why?”
“Maybe tomorrow.” I rested my head on his shoulder before he walked into the bedroom and shut the door with his foot.
“Well whatever it is, Kelia and I love you regardless of any situation.” he laid me down on the bed before walking over to the light switch and turning it off leaving the room dark with only the tv on.
“Yeah, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I’m the problem.” I rolled over on my side to face him.
“What problem could you be? You’re an amazing mother and an amazing girlfriend, and I know one day you’ll be an amazing wife.” he lifted my chin with his finger to look at him, “We’re here for you. Whatever it is you’re going through, we’re here.”
I couldn’t help but let the tears fall down my face as he continued talking. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, not from him anyways.
“I know baby.” he brought me into his chest and held me tightly as I started to cry into his shirt. “I love you.”