It was Saturday night, I sat on the couch watching Netflix in my pajamas and was happy to do so. It was about 7:00 pm, when I heard the knock at the door. I looked through the peephole and could only see a badge and heard someone say, “Jim sent me.”
My heart skipped a few beats, if Director Jim sent someone, there was trouble for sure. Maybe someone was looking for me? I quickly opened the door.
“Oh my God… Michael?” tears swelled in my eyes.
Instantly, we fell into each other’s arms, “It can’t be you?” I cried.
“It’s me,” he put both his hands on my cheeks and looked into my teary eyes.
I could see tears coming down his face as well. He kissed my lips. “It’s me,” he said again and continued to hold me tight.
“But I saw them....and they shot you! He told me you were dead!”
I was hysterically crying and couldn’t catch me breath.
“C’mon.” He shut the door behind us and we collapsed on the couch.
“How’d you know where to find me? How are you here? Your not dead?” I kissed his cheeks and rubbed my fingers through his hair. He was clean shaven and his hair was shorter.
“It’s you? It’s really you!” I was shocked.
He stroked my face. “Yes, I can explain all of it, I promise.”
“Oh no! Are we in danger?”
“No! No! I promise you, we’re not. I’m sorry, I couldn’t tell you...I just couldn’t.” he could barely get the words out.
“I know you are the reason I’m still here. I know that you saved me. I know what you risked leaving me. I know what you’ve done for me!” I grabbed his hand and I felt his finger rub the inside of my palm, once again, I lost it. The tears continued to pour down my face. “Why would Director Jim tell you I was here? How can you be here Michael?”
He got up, walked over to the sink and washed his face. “I’m not who you think I am Allison, I never have been,” he tried to compose himself. “I’m an undercover detective. Director Jim is my supervisor and friend.”
“What? That doesn’t make any sense! Why….”
He composed himself and sat down at the table. I went and sat beside him. He held his hand out for mine and said, “I will start at the beginning and answer all your questions. I went into the academy, right after high school. That’s where I met Jim. He was one of the instructors, back then. He gradually moved up and I became a detective under his unit. I got assigned to the Kings case two years ago. I have been caught up in their lives and ways for so long, I started losing myself. It’s hard to separate the two lives. And then I saw you, that first night. I just had to stop it, and you...you caught my attention, from the moment I saw you,” he kissed my hand. “I tried to keep you safe, Allison.”
“You did, Michael. I’m here. I would have died fighting, if you hadn’t intervened.”
“I always intended on having you leave with me once the Gratlands came, the FBI would do their job and I could get you out. I couldn’t risk telling you and losing my cover.”
“Why are you telling me now?”
“Because I’m questioning whether or not I want to keep going. Cause, I needed to see you, I just felt I owed it to you, I guess. Now I know telling you won’t put you or me, in any danger, as long as you keep my secret. It just felt unfinished and I missed you.”
My heart raced and I continued to sobb, “Why did you take me to the store?”
“I couldn’t handle what happened with Matt. I would have killed him with my bare hands, for what he did to you, if Tommy hadn’t stopped me.”
I hated thinking about all of this again, it was so hard to get over the past and now it was right here in front of me again. But I loved knowing Michael was alive and I loved seeing him. I listened patiently to every explanation he gave, all the while clinging to his hand and sometimes resting my head on his shoulder as we sat, in tears, the two of us, talking about Allison. It was strange to hear my name again out loud.
“I had to get you out of there, I knew the night after the fight, I had to lose you, in order to save you. I called Jim and told him to come pick you up. I told him you needed to be in witness protection and I told him...I needed to be out of the picture. It was to protect you and me. It happened fast, I didn’t have time to plan out every detail, Jim made up the rest as he needed to, along the way.”
“What if someone else can find me here or you?”
“No, Allison, I told him to send you here. It’s my hometown. I knew I’d be able to find you if I wanted to someday. I gave myself hope that maybe?…I don’t know? But you have nothing to be afraid of anymore Allison. It is over. I know you had to go through the trial and relive the whole ordeal again, I’m sorry for that, there was no other way to keep you safe during it all. Now, the gangs been disbanded, those bastards are all dead or in jail. I’m sorry your life had to be rearranged forever.”
“So your safe now too?” I still cried.
“How did you explain that I was gone to everyone else at the compound?”
“I said you had the flu to anyone who asked. Everyone was afraid to ask me anything after Matt and I’s fight, so it wasn’t too hard to keep you “hidden.” We had to wait for the Gratlands to come or we wouldn’t have been able to arrest any of them. In the end, it all worked.”
“That was nearly six months ago. Why now? Why did you wait to see me?”
“I had a lot to finish up with the case, even after the trials and then, I didn’t know what would be better? Did I leave you alone and let you move on? Did I make sure you were ok? Did I take the chance that you’d be happy to see me again? I’m at a crossroads, I don’t know if I want to take on another case? I’m tired of saving the world a couple dozen assholes at a time.”
“But you did save me Michael. I can never repay you for taking a chance on me. It was so hard for me, you know. I was so scared up there Michael.” I started panting again. “I’ve been at a crossroads too, I missed you,” I kissed his hands. “I missed you so much but then I had to accept you were gone and I did. I’ve made a new life. A good one so far.”
“I wanted you to do all the things we talked about, you deserve to have a good life. You look great,” he smiled.
“I don’t see how.” I wiped my tears and got up to the sink to wash. “I can’t believe your here!” We hugged, we kissed.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispered.
And before I knew it, we were on the couch again, him on top of me with his tongue taking control of mine. His hands pulled at my breasts. I slid my pants down as did he. He entered quick and hard.
“Oh Allison,” he whispered between kisses.
That’s when I felt it. The sting in my heart. I wasn’t Allison anymore. I was Lisa, and I liked being her. I was happy being her. “Michael.” I sobbed, I couldn’t stop crying. My emotions were out of control. He stopped moving. He just laid on top of me, inside me still. “This is just too much,” I cried.
“I know. I get it.”
We laid for a long while in silence just holding each other, tears coming and going from both of us, but no words. Until he finally sat up, dressed and put his arm around me.
“Tell me what you have been doing for the past six months.”
I laughed, “Every detail?”
“Yes, I want to know it all.”
I began, “Well, I spent a month in a hotel room going through the trial… By the way, my name is Lisa now, Lisa Banksworth.”
“Is that what you want me to call you now?”
“No, I am Allison to you always.” I wiped the tears and continued. We sat for several hours, we talked, laughed and cried. “.....there is one more thing Michael. I don’t want to tell you.”
“You can tell me anything, just say it.”
“I’ve met someone.” That’s all I said. I searched his eyes for a clue to what he was thinking, but I couldn’t tell anymore.
“Do you love him?”
“I love you, Michael, but I’m in love with him, does that even make sense?”
“I have thought about you almost every day, really I have, and I think I always will. It’s like your a part of me, I don’t want to forget you, ever!”
“Should I go?”
“No! No please don’t, I’m not ready,” I kept a hold of him still. “Stay with me.” I got up, took his hand and walked into the bedroom. I laid down, pulling him next to me. “Just hold me Michael, don’t leave.”
After a few minutes, he teased, “It doesn’t feel quite right, with your clothes on!”
I swatted at him and laughed. He kissed me cheek, “I love you, Allison.”
“I love you, Michael.”
It was Sunday morning, when I opened my eyes and saw Michael lying next to me. I watched him for a long while, till he rolled over, “Hey!”
“Hey,” I smiled.
“I thought about something last night Michael.”
“You know how you said you were at a crossroads, and don’t know if you want to continue?”
“What would you do?”
“Maybe try bartending or become a mechanic, isn’t that what you said were normal jobs?”
I laughed, “Yeah...but what if there’s another girl Michael. Just like me. What if she is out there somewhere and needs you to rescue her. Seriously, what if the Kings had sold some of that cocaine to some teenage boy, who overdosed. Or my kids? What if? How many people in life can say that they have changed the lives of not just one, but many who might of ended up so differently, if you didn’t do your job.”
“Your right, that’s how I have always felt, it’s what pushed me through.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I hate the thought of you going back to that lifestyle. I don’t know how you can stand it, but, don’t make me be the one who caused you to stop Michael.”
He took a deep breath and sighed out loud, “How did I get so lucky to get you in my life, huh?” he kissed me, long and hard. “Maybe that’s exactly why I had to see you, afterall. Maybe I just needed the reassurance right in front of me?”
“I’m glad you came back to me. I like this part of our story much better than you being dead. If I could change the beginning, I would.”
“I can’t always be reached Allison, but you know how to get Jim too, right?”
“He can always get to me, If you ever need anything, I mean it anything, you let me know.”
“I will. What if I just want to know your ok, now and then?” Here come the tears.
“Then you call me,” he took my phone and entered his number. “We don’t have to stop caring do we, just because there’s someone else.”
“No, I’ll never stop, Michael. I couldn’t.”
“Me either,” he hugged me again. “Ok. I’m gonna go.”
“OK.” I continued to sobb.