As we all entered the club, I could hear the music blasting, the lights were flashing and everyone was on the dance floor. We immediately got a table by the bar and ordered a round of shots. Within minutes several men had come over, “Hello, ladies, who wants to dance?”
“We do!” Terry shouted, got up and grabbed my hand.
“Yeah, me too!” Several of the others joined in.
We all gathered on the edge of the dance floor and danced as a group. I felt free, I had no worries, but I was a much more reserved dancer than Terry or the others were. They sandwiched between the guys, pressed up against them and teased them with their bodies. The taller guy definitely took an interest in Terry right away.
“Hello, I’m Bill, you are?”
“Hi, I’m Lisa.” Just then the music slowed down and Bill motioned for my hand politely, “May I?” he asked.
“Sure,” I smiled.
He put both his arms around my waist and looked at me, “Have you been here before?”
“No. I just moved here recently.” I felt a little uncomfortable. He was being a gentleman, but he wasn’t Michael. I tried to dismiss my thoughts once again.
“You look amazing,” he said.
Terry and the tall guy came up close to us as we were dancing and intentionally bumped into us. Terry laughed like a schoolgirl, “Fun! Private joke,” she said and winked at him.
I think he knew exactly what she meant by it. She was outspoken for sure. Bill and I made small talk throughout the dance. He was handsome, nice, a good dancer. Then the DJ put another upbeat song on.
“Do you want another drink?” Bill asked me.
“Please, I’m just gonna go to the restroom. Can I meet you back at the table?”
“Yes definitely,” he replied.
I wanted to burst into tears, I just needed to get away for a few minutes. I walked as fast as I could into the girls room. It was packed with girls fixing their hair, peeing, smoking and laughing. I took a few deep breaths while I waited on line. What is wrong with me? I thought. I have to stop obsessing over the past. I have to let it go. I know it’s ok to feel aroused from someone else. I fought back the tears. Looked in the mirror and said, Get a hold of yourself, Allison.
Bill was waiting for me at the table, I smiled and thanked him for the drink. It was strong! It has been a very long time since I had anything but an occasional beer. This was fruity and tasted like lemonade.
We all danced a few more times, had several more drinks, I was definitely beginning to feel tipsy. Bill had a presence about him. He was very confident, and extremely polite. Some of the other guys were a bit too touchy, but the girls seemed to want it, so everyone was happy. Bill and I talked a lot about Callie. It was a casual conversation, which was fine with me.
“Alright everyone pick your partners, here’s a throwback, let’s get sexy out there,” the DJ announced when we heard, Bad Company’s, Feel Like Making Love, song.
“I love this song!” People shouted from crowded floor. “Oh Yeah!”
“Do you want to?” Bill held up his hand for me.
“Yes.” Ok Lisa, be sexy, be a new you, I thought to myself, as I accepted his hand to dance. The lyrics made the dance very sensual:
“Baby, when I think about you
Think about love...Darlin’ I don’t live without you...And your love…
If I had those golden dreams of my yesterday (yesterday)
I would wrap you, In the heaven
Feel it dyin’ (dyin’, dyin’) all the way, Feel like makin’
Feel like makin’ love
Feel like makin’ love
Feel like makin’ love, Feel like makin’ love to you.”
I could feel his entire body pushing up against mine as his hips swayed back and forth. We gazed into each other’s eyes, I smiled and he rubbed my back. I don’t think I know how to flirt, seriously. I don’t think it’s in me. I’m just too nervous.
But this stranger, He was different then most of the guys here. He had a composure about him that made him stand out in the room to me. His confidence was attractive, not controlling. I was definitely aroused. This is not like me at all, I just met him! Just then, I remembered Terrys words: FUN! Maybe, it’s time I had that fun? I leaned in, and softly kissed his lips just enough to let him know to kiss me back. He did just that, immediately. It was short, but very good. I fondled the back of his neck, just a little.
“Hey! You all ready to head out?” Terry shouted to us.
“Yes,” I said, “My feet are killing me in these shoes!” I was not used to heels.
“Graham’s gonna ride with us and hang out by me for awhile. Bill you coming with us?” Terry asked as they disappeared into the crowd while heading for the exit.
He looked to me for a response. “I’m sorry, I have to get up early tomorrow morning.” I lied. “I should call it a night, but it was so nice to meet you.”
“I enjoyed meeting you too.”
“Thank you for the drinks and the dances. It really was nice, I don’t mean to make you feel like I’m putting you off or anything...honestly, I’m just not ready for you to...you know...” What am I thinking! I can’t say I’m not ready to bring you home for a one night stand!
He laughed slightly at my awkwardness. “It’s ok, I understand. I’d love to see you again though, maybe dinner? Can I get your number?”
“Sure, that would be great!”
“And let me walk you out, at least.”
“Ok,” I smiled.
By the time we got through the crowd, Terry and Graham were already in the Uber making out. Bill leaned over and softly kissed my cheek. “I’ll will call you.”
“Ok,” I smiled at him and got in the Uber too.
“He is so cute, Lisa! Why didn’t you invite him back?” Terry asked.
“It’s ok, I have a busy day tomorrow, but I gave him my number.”
“Oh, good!” She continued to fondle Graham’s chest.
I laid in bed that night, my head spinning from the alcohol, it was not like me to drink so much. I did have fun though and maybe Bill would call? No matter how hard I tried to daydream about tonight, my thoughts kept turning to Michael. I wanted to be dancing with him again, I wanted to feel him kiss me again. I wanted to make love to him again. I felt my hands wondering on my breasts and I closed my eyes, imagining it was Michael’s touch. I felt him fondle my nipples, and slide his hand down between my legs. I remembered the touch of his tongue between me and the taste of his kiss. I imagined him on top of me, inside of me, pushing further and harder each time. Although my body shook with pleasure from the thoughts of his touch, my heart ached.
Just as I started to doze off, Callie jumped up barking and ran to the front door. “What? What is it girl?” I got up and followed her. “It’s ok,” I said. But was it? I didn’t dare open the door. It was way too late for anyone to be coming over. Callie clawed at the front door as if someone was there waiting. I looked through the peephole and could barely see the back of someone walking down the hall. “Allright, quite down, it’s ok. We are not the only ones allowed to walk in the hallway,” as if she understood me. She was getting bigger by the day it seemed. I was so glad I decided to get her, it made me feel much safer than being in the apartment alone.
I couldn’t wait to talk to Terry to find out how her night went. I waited at the elevator, our usual spot at 8:00 pm the next night.
“So ? Come on, hurry!” I said as she opened her door. “Tell me everything!”
“Oh my gosh, I slept all day, barely got out of bed, definitely had too much to drink,” she began. “But, oh yeah! Mission accomplished last night. I can’t believe you didn’t invite Bill back! What happened to two hotties, two orgasims...remember?”
“Yeah, I remember. It just didn’t feel quite right. Honestly, I’ve never had a one night stand before. Don’t laugh!”
“Really! Well you just had your chance? Maybe, Bill’s going to wait patiently.”
“Or Bill could be a psychotic serial killer! And Graham could have been too! Don’t you worry?”
“It’s not something I do all the time, you know, every now and then. Most of the people at the club are regulars. I’ve seen them both around before, it’s a pretty small town,” Terry explained.
Bill did have my attention, I had to admit, he was sexy. “Did you hear Callie go crazy barking last night, around two o’clock?” I asked.
“I’m sure I’m just being paranoid. I saw someone walking down our hallway. Has there been much crime around the apartment?”
“No, not at all. It’s a great area. Probably just someone out late, like us.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“See you tomorrow!”
I don’t know if I will ever shake this feeling of being scared. I look at everyone so differently now, I’m more cautious with strangers and my surroundings. I’m glad I have Terry to walk with at night. Michael lost his life for me, I plan on making the best life I can for myself. I need to keep pushing on and try to work through my fears.