Theme song of the story: La Vie En Rose by Louis Armstrong
"Love is patient. Love is kind. Love means slowly losing your mind.” ~27 Dresses
“That’s it. That’s it. Yeeess, come to papa.” Tyler coaxed, groaning in delight when the creeped-out barista gave him his donut over the counter. “Oh sweet Lord, I thought this moment would never come.”
The blond ran his thumb over the surface of the old-fashioned, glazed donut. He grinned in a rather strange way before sniffing the pastry in joy. “Can you smell it, man? Can you not already taste the pure heaven that this donut is? I think I’m ready to die and go to the sweet Lord with just one bite of this tasty goodness.”
Gary, Tyler’s closest friend and the only person who was willing to put up with Tyler’s weirdness, rolled his eyes as he paid the cashier.
“Tyler, you’re being unnecessarily creepy again.” The brunet said casually, taking the back of his sweet-loving friend’s shirt and dragging him towards an open table. “I swear, we are going to get banned from coming here if you keep scaring the poor barista. Not everyone is as stupendously obsessed with sugar like you are.”
Tyler gasped in shock, pulling his shirt from Gary’s grasp and leaning uncomfortably close to his friend’s face. “Are you saying that I’m stupid?” He tried to pout at his friend but only succeeded in looking as if he were suffering from a severe case of constipation.
His best friend rolled his eyes, pushing the simple-minded boy’s face away in annoyance. “The definition of stupendous essentially means impressive. In the name of all things holy, Tyler, we learned this yesterday. Did you seriously already forget?” Gary looked at the blond with an incredulous face, internally wondering if naming the oaf his best friend in third grade was the smartest decision he could’ve made.
The boy in question opened his mouth to reply in a snarky way but paused when he realized that he had forgotten the word. It was this wonderful epiphany that caused the blond to scoff in annoyance and sit down with a huff. “Please, it wasn’t as if the word was even worth remembering. Only a nerd like you would find a way to use it in actual conversation.”
“I hope you know that being smarter than you does not make me a nerd. Especially when it is so damn easy, too.” Gary replied with a smirk, plopping down in the chair across the table as he did so.
Tyler rolled his eyes and huffed. “Well, yea, of course, it's easy for you to--HEY! That’s not nice!” He whined, pointing an accusatory finger at his amused friend as he squinted his brown eyes. “I’m very smart, for your information."
At this, Gary raised both his eyebrows, looking at the blond with a challenge in his eyes. ”Oh really? Then please, tell me, Tyler, what is the square root of pi?” He asked, knowing for a fact that, as they grew up, Tyler always zoned out or drifted off during their math classes.
How the young man passed his classes, the world may never know.
“That’s easy,” retorted Tyler in a ′I-am-better-than-you’ tone of voice, “it's three-point-one-four.”
Gary laughed and shook his head, completely and utterly amused at his best friend. “That’s just pi. I asked for the square root of pi.” He told his companion, chuckling to himself as the blond’s face showed realization.
"Oooooh." Tyler breathed out, suddenly realizing that maybe he didn’t know a lot of things. “Well... that’s a stupid question! I mean, who actually would find a need to use the square-root of pie anyway? Oh, pie. I could really go for some of that. Preferably cherry pie, since that one has the best flavor. Ooo or maybe we should get razzleberry! What do you think, Gary?”
The man in question quirked one eyebrow at this, never really ceasing to be amazed at his friend’s ability to turn any conversation into one about sweets. Gary opened his mouth to respond when suddenly the boy across from him gasped dramatically and spazzed in his seat.
“Hey! Did you see that! I rhymed Gary and razzleberry!” He exclaimed, his eyes lighting up in excitement as he waved his hands around to get the attention of an indifferent Gary. “I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it!”
Gary rolled his eyes and removed his hands from the table as a waitress walked up with their coffee. Tyler did not stop to breathe for one second as he began to ramble excitedly about his ′natural abilities as the next great author’, even after the server placed their cups down with a smile and walked away.
Gary began to zone out his friend, taking a calming sip of his bitter drink as he looked out the window and pondered about the test coming up in the next week. I wonder if I studied chapter eight enough. I should probably read it over one more time, just to be safe, he thought to himself distractedly.
“Gary!” Called Tyler, snapping the brunet from his internal contemplation. “Gary pay attention to me, I’m being awesome!” As if to show that unproven fact, the raucous boy stood up and moved to stand by Gary before he grabbed his shoulders and shook them annoyingly. ”Listen to me!"
It took everything in Gary’s conviction to not drop kick the loud blond and strangle his scrawny, pale neck.
“Tyler.” Gary breathed out, wrapping his hands around the short boy’s wrists and prying his hands away from his shoulders. “I swear, if you don’t stop being annoying, I’m going to punch you in your strawberry-colored face.” The young man glared at his friend, ready to knock the blond onto his ass if he deemed it necessary.
Tyler rolled his eyes and snatched his hands away, sulking as he dropped back into his seat and ignoring the curious glances of the patrons around them. “Yea, well, your chocolate-colored ass would miss the beauty that is my face too much if you wrecked it.” The young man sniffed in a posh manner as he took five packets of sugar and dumped their contents into his drink.
Gary, having watched this entire process that Tyler always does with anything he consumes, sighed drearily. “Really, man, you need to watch how much sugar you intake. You could get a cavity or, even worse, diabetes.”
The younger boy scoffed and jerked his head, flipping his messy hair from his eyes after it fell down. “Puh-lease. Life is too damn short to be worrying about things as trivial as cavities.”
Gary raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what you said a month before you got a root canal last year?”
Tyler paused in his way to drink his coffee. His eyes blinked in thoughtfulness and Gary could’ve sworn he heard the boy gulped. “I... ah... well... you’ve got a point there...” Tyler admitted, placing his coffee down and hanging his head in what appeared to be defeat.
For only a second, Gary had thought that his constant warnings about health had finally gotten through the brick wall that was his best friend’s mind. All in one moment the eighteen-year-old felt the emotion of success as he looked at his sugar-crazed companion.
For one moment.
In the next second, Gary was startled out of his mind when Tyler let out a strangled noise that could not have been made by any other human. “However! No matter what happens to me, I will always appreciate the blessing that is anything sweet!” Exclaimed the blond with a renewed vigor. The rowdy boy when above and beyond with his little show of passion when he stood up and placed a foot on his chair, slamming a fist across his chest as he did so.
Meanwhile, Gary was wishing that he had a really dull pen to stab his best friend with.
A really, really, dull pen, thought the dark-skinned boy, narrowing his eyes as he glared at the ‘moron’ across from him.
“Tyler, if you don’t sit down right now, I’m going to tell Cecelia Parks that you still sleep with a nightlight.” Gary hissed in a seething voice, grabbing the blond’s shoulder and yanking him down harshly.
Having heard the very real threat delivered by his friend, Tyler quickly sat down and crossed his arms with a huff. Only a few moments of silence passed before the rambunctious boy was commenting on something once more. “Ya know, you should feel blessed to be around the awesomeness that is my personality.”
Gary scoffed and rolled his eyes, shaking his head in incredulity. “Yea, I’m blessed alright. I’m blessed in that I haven’t gone crazy or died while hanging out with you. Honestly, you’re way too excited for it to be a Wednesday.”
Tyler grinned and wiggled his eyes suggestively at his friend. “Don’t you mean... hump day?” The blond leaned closer to Gary and allowed a very unappealing smirk to appear on his face.
Gary, not feeling extremely comfortable with the distance between him and his estranged friend, quickly shoved his open palm into Tyler’s cheek and pushed him away. “Keep your nasty thoughts to yourself, Tyler.”
The boy in question groaned before he took his coffee and downed it in one go. “Yea, yea, yea,” Tyler said in annoyance. “I get it, you’re not in the mood to actually be fun. Anyways, hurry up and finish your coffee--there’s a new bakery down the street and I want to go and try it!”
Gary sighed in a dejected way as he drank the last of his drink, still amazed at his friend’s capability to always be ready to east sweets, should the moment arrive. The fact that the blond couldn’t remember the Pythagorean Theorem but could memorize the whole menu for eight different bakery’s was beyond Gary’s understanding.
I guess priorities really do have an effect on someone’s personal abilities, thought the young man as he watched Tyler ramble on incessantly about the health benefits of red velvet cake.
How the kid got on the topic of cupcakes in the first place; the world may never know.
“Alright, let just hurry and go. You ready?” Inquired Gary, standing up and raising on impatient eyebrow at his now monologuing friend.
The blond froze in his ramble, his hands held up in mid-air as they were normal flapping about aimlessly as he talked. It took a moment for Tyler to drop his arms, ponder the suggestion, and then fly out of his seat as if it had bitten him.
“To the bakery!” He shouted randomly, only causing Gary to roll his eyes and flick the blond in the head as other patrons jumped in startled fear.
“Don’t be so weird, Tyler.”
“Well don’t be so boring!”