Kara sipped at the cup of water in her hand. Outside, the sky was still dark. As black as the wings of a raven, she thought with a small smile. It was around two hours later from the time they had gone off to sleep. She had laid still in bed, hearing Adam’s breaths calm down to an even pattern. She didn’t know why she couldn’t sleep. She had spent most of the time, looking at his profile as he slept off peacefully.
Inside, her belly ached. She knew what it was. But she was too afraid to voice it out.
Her mind was crowded with her thoughts. She didn’t seem to be able to sort through them all. At every single second, the most prominent one that screamed at her to acknowledge its existence was the fact that Adam had said he loved her. He loved her.
Kara couldn’t wrap her head around it. Why did it seem so good to be true?
Why was she freaking out? This was what she wanted, right?
To be loved by the person she was in love with?
She knew she should be happy. She knew she should be overjoyed. But those emotions seemed to escape her at the moment.
She stared at the window, seeing the tall trees that lined the path outside the apartment, sway gently in the wind.
She had made sure she was silent as she had slipped away from the bed, not wanting to awake Adam.
In his sleep, he looked so peaceful. So calm and almost boyish.
She remembered what he had told her about his past. She wasn’t too surprised to know that he had participated in something that wasn’t exactly legal or approved of. Of course, she was aware of underground fighting and of the money passed on illegally through that path. When Adam had told her that he fought, she had understood.
She’d never judge him. She didn’t have the right to do that. She didn’t know the hardships and the crap that he had gone through in his life.
She swallowed and looked back at his sleeping figure.
She knew what she was afraid of.
She was totally, and utterly in love with Adam. She loved him. All of him. His strengths and his weaknesses. The part that scared her was the fact that she could lose him forever, if things went south. If he continued down this road, she knew that there would be a time when his past sins or crimes would demand payment and she didn’t know if she’d be able to handle that.
A tiny part of her was also anxious about what her dad would think of Adam. Kara knew instinctively, that her mother would support her, whatever her choice. But her dad was protective. She knew with surety that he wouldn’t be completely okay with it, especially given Adam’s background. While her dad was extremely supportive and loved her, Kara didn’t know what to expect when he met Adam, because she knew they would want to meet him soon, if they got word of anything going on with her.
She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. Standing up, she stretched her back, bending slightly to the sides to get the stiffness out of her frame. Then she rinsed the cup and went to put it back in the cabinet.
She jumped at the deep voice in the darkness.
Adam pushed himself up on his elbow and looked at her, a sleepy frown on his face and his hair all tousled up.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she whispered slowly and turned to him.
He shook his head, “You didn’t,” he patted the spot next to him, “I couldn’t find you when I reached out.”
“Why are you awake?” He sat up straight, the comforter falling to his waist.
She shrugged, “I needed some water.”
Even in the dim light, she saw the moment he went still. “Is everything alright? Are you okay?”
She nodded, “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Adam stood up, pushing the comforter away. Kara suddenly found his frame too large.
She took a step back, even though he was far away from her. She stood near the counter, tugging at the hem of her shirt. The ache in her belly was a different one altogether now. He came near her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
Moving past her, he grabbed the cup from her hand and filled it with water from the pitcher next to the microwave.
When he finished, he rinsed it and placed it next to the sink.
Kara avoided his gaze, looking around the apartment, slowly shifting away toward the mattress. She could feel his gaze on her and her body felt tight. She knew exactly why but she couldn’t think it.
Not tonight, Kara. Not tonight.
He came to stand in front of her and tipped her chin up with a finger. Up this close, she could see his pupils were dilated and she could smell the slight almost non-existent smell of his cologne.
Fucking hell, how could he smell good after being asleep for a while?
She gave him a slight smile, trying to keep her urges under control.
“Hey,” she returned, still smiling.
Her heart picked pace when his gaze dropped to her lips.
An image of her naked on the bed with Adam between her legs, thrusting into her and filling the constant aching void that seemed to grow in her, flashed through Kara’s head and she blushed.
She wanted him more than she could imagine.
“You’re looking at me in that way, Kara.” His voice was low and husky, far more seductive than what she could handle.
“What way?” she breathed.
“Like you want me to strip you bare and kiss every inch of you.”
She went still.
Shit. Was she that transparent?
Embarrassed, she looked away.
“Hey,” he stepped in closer, “don’t do that.”
She tried to push his hand away but he caught her fingers, bringing them to his mouth and kissing the tips.
“Don’t hide from me, Kara.” He leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers.
“I’ve imagined doing that and so much more, every single night since the time I first saw you in that supermarket,” he kissed the tip of her nose.
Kara couldn’t form a response for a long moment.
Adam groaned out loud, “I fucking think of it every day, Kara. Every single day. And I can’t seem to stop.”
Everything inside her screamed at her to tear his pants off him.
She swallowed with difficulty.
Then she said the words that were clawing to get free.
“What if I don’t want you to stop?”