Dear Lucy

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'Rub my head babe.' He moaned, resting his head on my lap as I sighed. 'Please, I'm hanging.'

I ran my hands through his hair, watching the movie as I did. He had pleaded with me to go and see him, telling me he was genuinely dying.

'Well this is called consequences Todd.' I smirked as he groaned.

'Babe, I'm eighteen. If I don't do it now, i never will.'

I watched Spiderman swing from one building to the next, and I tried to imagine a world where he really existed.

'He's definitely the best superhero.' I murmur, my fingers lost in Todd's hair.

'What? No. Its Ironman.' Todd argued, making me retract my fingers instantly.

'Man made. This isn't up for debate.'

'All spiderman can do is shoot webs. Big deal.' He retorted, shifting up to a sitting position. He drained his can of coke before opening another, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. I watched him before laughing quietly.

'Ironman is rich. Sure he can fly, and shoot at things, but only because of money. It's hardly a superpower. Spiderman was just a kid, bitten by a spider-'

'I really can't be doing with an argument about Marvel right now.' Todd snapped as my eyes widened.

'Alright Grumpy. Why don't you go back to bed?'

I folded my arms and stared at the screen, annoyance building within me. I could've spent the day reading, swimming or being with my family. Instead Todd had convinced me to get a lift to his, and was now being a dick.

'Fine, I will.' He stood up, rolling his eyes at me. 'Come with me, stop being annoying.'

'Annoying?' I repeated, my mouth falling open. Was he being serious right now? I stood up, pulling my jacket from the chair as I did.

'Well I'll just take my annoying self out the door. Have a nice nap, dickhead.' I pushed past him as he groaned, making his way up the stairs. He made no effort to stop me as I hauled the door open, feeling satisfied when I heard it slam behind me. He was sometimes such an ignorant asshole. I blinked back tears, annoyed that he would let me just walk out whilst knowing I had no way to get home easily; especially as he drove. I suppose this was another reason for me to start driving lessons; living further out had its disadvantages after all. I gazed up and down the street, not wanting Todd to see me looking pitiful if he did care to look outside for me. I began to walk in the direction of the bus stop, thinking that I would have to get a bus into town, then a bus out to get back home. I sighed, digging in my bag for my bus card as I walked, feeling more and more fed up as time went by. How could he say I'm being annoying when I'd gone to him when he was hungover to hell, only for him to tell me that? He was so damn rude. I was also becoming sick of his constant sexual innuendo. It's not like we hadn't done it- we had- but it didn't mean I wanted it all the time. I wanted good conversation and giggles too, not just a pounding every now and then.

'Harper!' I heard a voice call from the opposite side of the road as I saw a mint green mini cooper slow down. I recognised Mandy straight away, her heavily made up face barely cracking as she smiled at me enthusiastically. 'Do you need a ride?' Mandy was Bruce's cousin, and also Todd's assigned cheerleader for most of the games. She was nice enough, but I couldn't help but wonder if she harboured a secret crush on Todd. Either way, I needed that ride.

'Hey Mandy. Do you mind? Where are you going?' I hopped into the car, the strong smell of flowers hitting me as I closed the door. Mandy smiled, showing her perfectly white teeth.

'I've got to pick Bruce up. He got too drunk last night and has woke up somewhere random. You don't mind do you?'

My stomach sank as rain began to hit the windscreen, as Mandy put the wipers on. What could I say? Yes, I mind, let me out of your free ride. Or, could you just drop me off first? Gah!

'No I don't mind.' I murmured as she nodded happily.

'Wheres Todd? He was messy last night. He was doing body shots from Laura Melogi! I'm sure he mentioned it to you but honestly, she's such a slut. I wouldn't want my boyfriend doing shots from those tits. Fuck knows what he could catch.'

I wrinkled my nose up, a feeling of jealousy rippling through me. Why was he doing that with the school bike? She was absolutely renowned for having sex with almost all of the football team on a regular basis- and if rumours were true then most of them at the same time. God he was a prick.

'Sorry?' Said Mandy, glancing at me with surprise. Did I say that out loud? Gah!

'Did you go then?' I asked feebly, not really caring either way but knowing I needed to make some form of conversation with my chauffeur for the afternoon.

'No, I saw the photos on Laura's facebook.' She said greedily, frowning as she waited to turn at an intersection.

Wonderful. Public humiliation. Thanks Todd. My cheeks burned and I stared out of the window, wishing I hadn't have bothered accepting this ride. It was proving to be more trouble than it was worth. Finally we pulled up outside a ridiculously large house with a lawn bigger than the school field. The drive was gated, and me and Mandy exchanged a curious look.

'So he did well.' She pointed out as she fired off a text, alerting him to our presence. I began to shift uncomfortably as I saw him appear in the distance, his dark hair disheveled and his gaze full of hatred as he saw me in the passenger seat.

'What are you doing here?' He muttered as I got out to allow him to squeeze in the back. As he moved past me I was privy to a whiff of his cologne, and I found myself thinking how amazing his scent was.

Wait, what? This was Bruce. No matter what I did, he hated me. It didn't matter what he looked like, or how delicious he could smell; the guy was a complete prick to me.

'Yeah Hi Bruce.' I snapped sarcastically as I slumped into the front seat, sending him daggers with my eyes. He simply scowled at me as Mandy began to drive, all the while chatting about absolute drivel.

'Mandy, please shut up. I've got a headache.' He interrupted bluntly, as I smiled to myself. I rested my head on my hand as I looked our of the window so to disguise my amusement as my phone vibrated in my pocket.

Dee: Fancy dinner with me? I'm actually NOT working for once. Miss you x

Ooh. Dee was one of my favourite people in the world and we'd been thick as thieves when we were younger. Lately she had been working like a demon after school to try to earn extra money to prepare for college, and I admired her for that. I quickly replied, telling her I was free. We arranged to meet in town in about two hours, so I decided it was pointless going home.

'Are you going near town?' I asked quietly as Mandy frowned.

'Um, no. Just to Bruce's then I've gotta haul ass as I've got a cheer competition tomorrow. I've got to be prepared. So I can either drop you there or somewhere on the way?' She glanced at me, and I realised I should at least appear grateful. 'Would Todd get you from Bruce's? It's not far...'

'No.' Bruce and I snapped in unison, our eyes meeting as he glared at me with intense dislike. 'It might have escaped your attention but blondie and I don't particularly get along.' He said, folding his arms as he closed his eyes. I glared at him, embarrassment on my cheeks.

'Actually Bruce's is fine.' I smiked wickedly as his eyes flew open, narrowing at me in the way I was used to. His nostrils flared as he spoke to me through gritted teeth.

'I said no.'

I nodded, as though I were speaking to a child.

'I heard you, I'm not deaf. I can walk from there.'

He shrugged, happy now that I wasn't angling for an invitation to his house. Pretty soon we had arrived at his house, and I rolled my eyes as I got out.

'What you eye rolling at me for?' He asked with irritation as he searched his pockets for his key. I had the urge to use the bathroom, and I knew I had to ask.

'Because you are hard work. Can I use your bathroom?' I smiled sweetly as he laughed in disbelief.

'No.' He smirked sarcastically as I tapped my foot with annoyance.

'I'm not going to piss myself out here on the street because you are a petulant child. I need to use your bathroom. Please.' I added, my bladder now filling rapidly at the thought of being remotely close to a toilet. He stared at me, his jaw clenching as be turned and stormed towards his house.

'Use it and go.' He ordered, throwing his keys on the side as he pointed up the stairs. 'Up and right. Not left. That's my room. You aren't invited.' He huffed as he walked into the kitchen, rummaging around in the fridge for food. I took the stairs two at a time my bladder aching as I locked the door behind me. The room was immaculate, and I noticed all his mothers face creams and lotions lined up neatly on the bathroom shelf. I washed my hands, wiping them on the towel beside the basin. I opened the door and heard Bruce laughing loudly as he watched the tv downstairs. My eyes wandered over to his room, and I bit my lip. I just wanted to look, see what it was like. People say you can learn a lot from someone's room. I decided to peek, and quickly dashed over the carpeted hallway to push the door open.

Instantly I was met with the strong scent of him, and I didn't know whether to be repulsed or delighted. I was surprised to see the room was tidy, and even his bed was made. Maybe his mom did it. He had a beautiful view of his garden, which even had a garden swing that hung from a tree. It felt so weird standing in here that I decided I needed to leave immediately. If he caught me in there, well. It doesn't bear thinking about. He'd probably kill me and bury me near that swing. I was about to leave when I noticed a book stuffed under his mattress, and my intrigue was piqued. My heart hammered in my chest as I pulled it out, half expecting to see pages stuck together from his teenage wet dreams.


Its so frustrating. Its like being in a hot room whilst wearing too many clothes, and all the while knowing there is an air conditioning unit but you will die if you switch it on. That's what it's like. Torture. But you carry on right? Because that's what you do when times get shit. You carry on.

I blinked, flipping the page over quickly to see another entry. Is this a...diary?

Drank too much last night. Todd fucked off with some blonde and left me with this ditzy girl who told me how many different colours her hair has been. Like I give a fuck. She wasn't there tonight. In a way I wish she had been, for selfish reasons. She doesn't have a clue.

I closed it as I heard footsteps, whipping it behind my back as the door pushed open.

'What the fuck are you doing in my room?' He growled, his eyes suddenly dark with anger.

'I'm sorry. I was erm...curious.' I swallowed, wishing the floor would open and swallow me up whole. My heart hammered in my chest as he crossed the room, standing in front of me.

'Curious?' He repeated slowly. 'About what, my wallpaper?'

I swallowed, my fingers gripping the diary behind my back as I tried to move slowly towards the door.

'Your room. You know, whether it's true what they say...'

'What do they say?' He moved closer to me, his peppermint breath fanning my face as I tried not to stare at the scar above his eyebrow.

'That you have OCD.'

He scrunched his face up as he made a face at me. 'What?'

'I need to go.' I babbled, as he folded his arms.

'So do I?' He asked, cocking an eyebrow at me as his eyes held mine, my breath catching in my throat as he leaned closer to me.

'Do you what?' I squeaked, tucking the diary into the waist of my jeans, tugging my jacket over it.

'Have OCD.' He smirked, glancing around the room.

'Yes.' I said, pushing past him and running down the stairs.

'How fucking odd. Never heard that one before.' I heard him chuckle as I reached the front door.

'Harper.' He called sharply, making me freeze as I opened the door.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck.

'Yeah?' Sweat was dripping down my back now as I tried to look as innocent as possible. He walked down the stairs easily, pulling me close to him suddenly. His face was inches from mine as he gazed at my lips, his eyes scanning my face as though memorizing every feature.

'What were you doing with this?' He said, whipping the diary out of my jeans, holding it up with a fierce glare in his eyes. I didn't know what to say. I stared at the floor as he sighed.

'Did you read it?'


'Don't lie.'

'He cheats on me?' I whispered, tears threatening to fall down my face as he groaned.

'Fuck. Why did you have to come in?' He yelled angrily, making me gape at him in disbelief.

'You fucking asshole.' I seethed, pulling the door open and walking out into the cold air, my cheeks stinging with humiliation.

'Harper, wait.' He called, jogging after me. 'Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you read that. Don't go like this, all upset.' He sounded incredibly irritated yet somehow like he cared, as I turned to look at him.

'How would you feel if you were me?' I asked.

He stared at me for a minute, and I decided there and then if he said anything nasty I was going to kick his ass.

'I'd feel shitty.' He sighed, as I nodded.

'He's dumped. I'm done.' I whispered, as tears spilled out of my eyes. He looked at me in sheer horror as I turned back towards him. 'Oh, and I'm sorry I read your diary. It was out of order.'

With that I walked away, leaving him staring wordlessly after me.

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