Loving the Broken

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Chapter 20-The First Time

Song: Thinking Out Loud-Ed Sheeran

Damien

“Where are we supposed to be Emily?” She opens her faux green eyes slowly and widened as the realization sinks in. Her arms stretch above her head making her shirt rise a little and revealing a patch of soft olive skin. I want to touch her and reacquaint myself with her body. I feel myself harden as the image takes over my thoughts.

Damn, I should not be thinking like this, but in my defense, it has been fifteen months since I’ve been with her or anyone. I’ve had plenty of offers from the female population during my tour but I turned them all down. I won’t deny being tempted but I couldn’t bring myself to be with anyone else, I also wasn’t willing to risk of career.

To clear my sex-deprived mind and my horny friend I steered the conversation to where she thought we were. “What were you dreaming about?” She giggles and a look of fondness grown on her face.

“I was just dreaming about the day you bought your truck. I was so worried for you but you were like a kid with a brand-new toy.”

“I was a kid with a brand new toy,” I state with a low chuckle. I remember that day like it was yesterday. So many important milestones were made in our relationship and our lives. I bought the truck with the help of my other parents. My old man wouldn’t’ have done it for me nor my mother. I had saved enough money from fixing cars at the only auto repair shop in our small town. I was able to pay the down payment but because of my age, I needed a co-signer.

Emily’s Dad was more my father than mine ever was. He cared and wanted the best for me as he would his own children. He also cared about his daughter’s safety and my 1960 Dodge Challenger was not reliable, where it looked like a macho car, it was a money pit. My Dad had driven into the ground when he was my age but couldn’t bear to sell the thing. Henry had his reasons and I had mine.

I just wanted to have something that was mine and not anything that belongs to the monster I call Father or sir. This is mine and only The Wood’s or the bank could take it away. It was one thing he couldn’t control me with. The other reason is so I could take Emily on special dates and not have to tag along with my best friend Dan and his very clingy girlfriend.

I love the guy as my brother but it’s really difficult to kiss your girl when her brother is watching you and giving you the death glare.

Dani was a whole other issue, she was controlling and demanding. If Dan wasn’t paying her undivided attention she would throw a temper tantrum. It didn’t matter where we were. I will never understand why he stayed with her when there was still plenty of fish lined up to get with him. Emily and I didn’t want to be around her when she got like that.

****

“Emily had a lot on her mind and the most pressing was where I was taking her and what I planned. Today is a special day for us, I don’t know if she remembers. It was eleven years ago today when we met. Yes, I’m a total girl when it comes to my girl. I had put this surprise together for her because I want to help her step out of her comfort zone and show her she can truly trust that I would never cause her harm.

I love Emily, I have since that sunny summer morning. All it took was the joy in her big beautiful eyes and the cute smile on her face. I may have only been six but I knew she was mine and I would marry her someday.

She fell asleep thirty minutes into the drive and I’m okay with that. I need to mull over what I’m going to say when I give her the gift sitting in my glove box. I want to show her she is my everything and my world. I will do anything for her. Some people may say our relationship is too intense, some have even said we are toxic but I don’t know how that's possible. Emily and I never really fight and if we are upset we talk about it. In fact, our relationship is probably the healthiest out of all our group of friends or even in school. We’re even more stable than a lot of adults.

They have suggested we try dating other people so see if Em and I are meant to be but I usually tell them if fuck off because it’s none of their business. Deep in my heart and soul, I know Emily is my forever girl.

I turn onto a dirt road and am glad when she doesn’t stir. I was going to have to pull over and blindfold her if she was awake. She would figure out our destination real quick. It took a lot of time and preparation for this perfect night so I needed it to stay that way.

Driving for another five minutes we reach my hidden spot. I turn off my truck and focus on my sleeping beauty. “Emily, sweetheart, we’re here.” I run my finger down her face and down her neck, stopping just above the swell of her breast. I notice her breathing accelerate and her legs clenched together.

Who knew touching her so intimately would get her so worked up. Em, and I haven’t taken that step yet. We’ve talked about it because she’s been feeling insecure. Dani brags about hers and Dan’s sex life and says Emily is defective since we’ve been dating over almost a two years and haven’t done it yet.

Truthfully, we aren’t in a big rush and we both agreed we would know when the time is right. I didn’t bring Emily out here to seduce her or even had that thought in mind. I just want to show her she is loved and to feel wanted, she needs to know what her biological father did was not what any father should do to his daughter.

She needs to be worshipped and cherished. Treasured and given the world, her parents and brothers do what they need to but as her boyfriend, the rest is up to me. Her alluring flushed face and heaving chest are making it extremely hot in this cab and I may lose control of my actions if I don’t release the tension.

“Em, baby, I need you to wake up now...Please?” My voice comes out in a deep husky plea, clearly affected by the sexual tension. She opens her blues and sets them on my browns, then hides her face in her hands.

“Oh, gosh, I’m so embarrassed!”

“Why? You have nothing to be embarrassed about?”

She refuses to look at me and that’s not right, I hate that I made her feel she had to hide from me. “Baby, look at me, please.” Her hands leave her face and she tilts her head so we’re eye to eye.

’“You never have to hide from me, I will never judge or ridicule you. I love you, Emily.”

“I love you, too. It was just embarrassing to fall asleep on you.”

“What makes this time any different than all the other times. We’ve slept in the same bed hundreds of times since we were kids.” She shakes her head.

“I don’t know, this time just felt different.” I could tell she was holding back but once again I won’t push her.

“How about we get out of this truck and go figure out this surprise.” I expected anxiety and apprehension so I was shocked when she agrees so easily. I pull her off my lap, which she somehow managed to put herself.

“Stay there, I’m coming around to get you.”

“Okay?” She giggles and her cute little nose scrunched up. I find it be one of the cutest things I love about her. I lean forward and plant a kiss on her nose, making her giggle again. I jump out of the truck and jog to her side. A wide flirty grin sits on her lips.

“And here people say chivalry is dead.” She teases.

“Only for fools and losers. You get the royal treatment tonight.”

“Well, then I best be sucking it all up because for all we know you could turn back into a pumpkin at midnight.” Riotous laughter fills the empty forest. I love this witty carefree Emily. When she is like this, everything negative in my life just fades away.

Once I settle my laughter, I stalk towards my girl and lean forward to speak softly in her ear.

“I’ll turn into anything you want me to.” Pink shades her cheeks.

“Damien, you can’t be talking to me like that.” Trying to hold back my own smirk, I slide her legs over the seat and push my body in between them.

“Why not, Em?”

“Because you make me feel and want things I’m not sure I’m ready for.” Her confession sobered me up real quick. I tuck a strand of blond hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s okay, Day, I want to do everything with you but I’m scared. Maybe, Dani is right and I am defective.” If there was ever a moment I hated Danika it was right now. I hate how she put Emily down and makes her feel like she isn’t worthy. Of course, if Dan heard her say any of these things, I’m sure he would have sent her packing. She’s good at hiding her true two-faced sides.

“Emily, there is nothing wrong with you, Danika is wrong and you shouldn’t listen to her. She’s crazy and toxic.”

“I guess.” Now, she’s cowering into herself again and I can’t let that happen. Some may think I’m complacent when it comes to Emily and that I coddle her but in truth, I get her, better than most, and she gets me. We don’t let each other get lost in ourselves.

“Close your eyes, sweetheart.” She listens without complaint or questions. Reaching over her and into the glove box I grab the black box and shove it into my pocket, then get the black silk blindfold. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life.” She answers without hesitation. I knew she trusted me but this was going one step further and I worried she would close her self off again. I’m going to ask her to let go of the control she has over herself and give me the reigns. Let me take the burden for a bit.

"Take a deep breath, Em and don’t freak out okay?”

“You know when someone says don’t freak out, the other person tends to freak.” She states.

“Yes, that is true but you know that I would never hurt or force you to do anything you don’t want to do."

“I do.”

“I need you to let go, Emily. Relinquish all control and everything else holding you back. Be free and I’m here to catch you when or if you fall. Trust me, trust us and let me in, please?”

“I don’t know how to Day, My fears are all I have and they protect me from getting hurt again. As for letting you that’s something I’ve never allowed anyone else to do. I love my family but even I keep them at a safe distance. I know my dad and brothers would give everything to protect me but the four-year-old me thinks one of them will do the same thing my real father did the second they get a chance.”

“I’m not asking for this to happen to right now or overnight, I just need you to know I’m here, Em. As long as you let me I will continue to hold your hand when you need that extra strength. Let me be your anchor when your sinking.”

“Okay, I will try but as long as I am yours.”

“The day we met you became my anchor. I may have only been six but it was then I knew what I wanted.”

“What is it that you truly want?” A playful smile sits at the corner of my mouth.

“Well, right now I want to blindfold you and carry you off into the woods.” I tease.

“Where that does sound tempting I’m going to give you a hard pass on the blindfold. I need to see where I’m walking.” Disappointment hit me like a wrecking ball. I needed everything to be perfect and I really wanted to see her breath be taken away when she sees the amazing picnic I have put together.

“I’ll make you a deal, you keep your eyes closed until we get there and I will carry you.” A tiny giggle can be heard.

“Deal.” I give her a peck on the temple and turn around.

“Jump on, but keep those eyes closed.”

“Got it, boss man.” We both laugh and I close her door.

****

“Were almost there, Em.”

“You said that five minutes ago.” She said from behind me.

“It was the truth.” We reach our destination so I set her back on solid ground. I get on my knee and pull the box out of my pocket.”

“You can open your eyes now.” Her eyes fly open and as she takes in the display, tears swell and fall down her face.

“Day, this is amazing! How did you put it all together?”

“With a lot of help and time.” She finally glances down and sees me kneeling with the box opened. Her bright blue eyes grow wider with concern.

“Damien, I love you but don’t you think we are a little too young to be thinking about marriage now?” I expected this response so I had prepared the perfect answer.

“Baby, if I was proposing it would be somewhere way more romantic then here. More like Paris.”

“Paris is like the most clichéd place to propose.” She points out in a teasing tone.

“You do have a point and because of that, you will never know where until it happens.” She throws her head back and laughs.

“You really are something, Day.”

“Yeah, but you love me anyway.”

“That I do. So if you’re not asking me to marry you, what is this all about?”

“If you would seal those perfect lips I so want to kiss right now, I will tell you.” She grins.

“Well, you best get to talking then.”

“Emily, I have thought over and over all the right things to say to you, I have played the words over and over in my head but nothing felt right. You are my whole world and my safe haven. I would not be here right now if you hadn’t come into my life eleven years ago.” I pause and compose myself. This speech I’ve practiced over and over but right now, at this moment emotions are consuming me.

“That morning when I first saw you I knew you were the one I wanted and I still do. I always will. I know we aren’t ready for certain steps and I’m okay with that. We will both know when the time is right. This ring is a symbol of us and our love. The diamonds are our birthstones which I thought looked beautiful and matched the girl I had it made for.”

“I don’t know what the future holds for us or where we will end up in five years but where ever I will be I want you by my side. You are my best friend, my soul mate, and the love of my life. I know I sound really girly right now but I’m winging it here.”

I stand up and place the ring on her left finger. “This is my promise to you, I will always love and protect you and never let you drown. My question for you is, will you accept this ring?”

I wait with bated breath as she ponders her answer. “Yes! A thousand times yes!” Her feet start propelling her towards me then jumps up on me wrapping her legs around my waist. “I love you, so much Damien. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I will treasure every moment we get.”

“Who are you and what did you do to my Emily?” Another giggle.

“What do you mean? I’m right here?”

“My Emily is not so sappy and girly.”

“Well, it’s not every day a girl’s boyfriend shows his unconditional love for her. It could turn a girl to mush, even the toughest one.”

“You’re adorable.”

“Damien?”

“Yes?”

“Can you kiss me now?” She didn’t have to ask me twice. My mouth crashed onto hers, I slide my arms under her ass so she doesn’t fall. Her body molds into mine when she wraps her arms around my neck. She moans and I spin her around and pin her to the nearest tree. I’m sure she can feel my excitement against her bottom. This is nothing we haven’t done before but it seems different, it feels different.

I pull away from her mouth and trail kisses down her neck to her collarbone. I flick my tongue over the pulse point behind her ear, then gently bite down. Her head falls back and she moans loudly and it kills me. I need to stop this now but I don’t want to. My hands run up her body and slip inside her shirt, this is usually when she stops and I’m hoping she will but the higher I go and she doesn’t stop me, I know I have to pull away.

“Em, we need to stop. This is getting out of hand.”

“I don’t want to.” She sucks her swollen lip into her mouth and nibbles on it.

“We’re not ready.”

" I want to Damien. I’m tired of letting my fears rule me. I want this and I want you.”

“We can’t Emily, I didn’t bring protection and I refuse to cause you any trouble.”

“I’m on the pill, Damien.” What the hell? This bit of information comes a shocker to me. I had no idea she was on the pill but why would she need it? Emily can read me like an open book so she could see the questions running around in my head.

“Relax, I’m not on it for that. My cycle is irregular so the doctor thought the pill would help get it normalized.” I guess that makes sense, sort of.

“How long have you been on it?”

“A couple of months.” I’m still not sure she really wants this or if she’s still caught up in the emotions, and thinks it’s expected.

“Babe, I didn’t bring you out here for sex, I only wanted to do something for you, so you could feel special and to show you how much you mean to me. I don’t expect you to have sex with me but if this is really what you want to do then I need you to be completely honest with me.” I flick my eyes to hers and get a read for her.

“Yes, I’m sure.” I saw no fear or confusion, she meant what she said. I take her hand and walk her down to the dock. I had made up a bed with blankets and pillows because one of her favorite things to do is cuddle and watch the sun go down. She also gets cold easily. She steps on the blanket and I follow.

My heart is racing a million miles an hour and my hands are shaking like a leaf blowing in the wind. I’ve dreamed of this moment a hundred times and now that’s it happening, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.

As if on instincts my hands find themselves pulling her dress down while she’s standing there with her chest heaving but not saying a word. Her white dress falls to the floor and she’s left standing in her white strapless bra and white lace underwear.

“You’re so beautiful, Emily.” I move in closer and cover her mouth with mine, my arms wrap her waist while she undoes the buttons on my shirt. She slips my shirt off and it hits the ground, my hand slides up her body just stopping when I reach her bra. She senses my hesitation and reaches behind and undoes the clasp. I stand in awe as her bra falls to the ground, exposing a beautiful set of perfectly round and perky breasts.

Fire ran through every cell in my body as I take her pink buds between my fingers. Her own fingers trace the hard ridges and planes on my chest. A shiver runs through us both. She takes my hand and pulls me down with her. Her body lays like a sculpture carved out of the finest porcelain, I’m afraid she will shatter if I touch her.

“I’m not going to break, please touch me.” I hover my body over hers.

“Where would you like me to touch you?” She doesn’t answer, instead, she puts her hand on my head and pushes towards her breasts.

“Please, Damien.” Her begs drew me forward and I take a pebble in my mouth, I have no experience in this so I’m going on basic instinct. I suck her hard bud in my mouth and flick my tongue. Her back arches and she moans loudly. My erection is pressing against my jeans and begging to be freed, but not yet.

I move to her other bud and repeat the actions. I run my hand down her slender stomach and to her panties. I don’t pause this time and work my way down to her molten center. “You’re so wet, baby.”

“I know, that’s what you do to me.” Sitting up on my knees I slip my fingers into the edges of her soaked panties and pull then down her legs.

“Fuck!” I insert a finger inside and watch as her eyes glass over with desire. She moans again and bucks her hips. “Do you like that?” Another finger goes in and I start thrusting



, hell, yes!” Her body starts to thrashing round as I bring her pleasure. “More! I want more!”

“What do you want, Baby?”

“You! I want to feel you inside me.”

“You’ll get that but I want you to cum first.” Keeping my fingers inside her I kneel down and bury my head in between the apex of her thighs. She jumps when my tongue flicks against her flower. This is something I would always hate, the way the guys in the locker room talked about made it sound disgusting. They did say that going down on a girl would drive her insane but it never sound exciting to me. However, seeing Emily now, I see what the guys were raving about.

I continue with my finger strokes and lick and suck everything she gives, then I feel it. Her muscles clench around my fingers, and now she’s screaming out her release.

“I’m...I’m...Ahh, ohh, Damien!” Warm sticky liquid coats my fingers and face. Once she comes down from her high I pull away and wipe my hands and face on a towel. I then stand up and take off my jeans and boxers. Emily has her eyes closed when I lay back over her.

“We can end this right now if you’ve changed your mind.” Her eyes open and meet with mine.

“It’s okay, I’m just scared. What if I’m not good enough for you? You’re still a virgin and I’m not.” I move her hair out of her face and kiss her before I tell her,

“You are perfect and I love you no matter what. I’m a virgin by choice and techinally you are too.” I kiss her cheek. “We can stop.”

“No, please don’t.”

“Only if you are a hundred percent positive. I don’t want you to regret this tomorrow.” She cracks a small smile.

“I won’t regret this Damien.” I kiss her again, this time I pour all my love into it. I shifted to my knees again and spread her legs. My hardened length is pressed against the tip of her entrance, waiting for her okay.

“I’m not sure if this will hurt so I will be as gentle as I can. This is new for me too Em, but I don’t want to cause you any discomfort.” She cups my face in her hand.

“You could never hurt me.”

“Are you ready then?” She nods so I glide myself in, starting off slow, allowing her to adjust to my invasion.

“I’m okay, keep going.” I push further in and her muscles tighten when I hit her spot.

“Oh.” She moans.

“You feel amazing, Em.” I keep my thrusting to a slow pace until I feel my release building up.

“Faster, Day. Don’t hold back anymore.”

“Wrap your arms and legs around me.” When she’s wrapped around my body I sit up with me still inside her. Never stopping. Her legs are on each side of me with her feet flat on the ground. I plunge inside her and she lets go of loud scream. “Ride me, baby. You have the upper hand here.” She realizes what I mean, her arms tighten around my shoulders, and she buries her face in my neck and shoulder.

She pushes down and gains better access. I read the girl gets a bigger orgasm if she’s on top. “I’m so close, Cum with me.”

“I’m close too.” When I know I’m about to lose it, I start playing with her flower. She throws her arches her back and throws her head back while her fingernails dig into my back.

“Ohh....” She climaxes at the same time I do and the night sky is filled with the sound of two people deeply in love and in the throes of ecstasy.

“I love you, Emily. Forever.”

“I’ll love you, Damien. For eternity.”

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