Loving the Broken

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Chapter 4-Moving on

Music: What If I Never Get Over you- Lady Antebellum


Three Months Later-Emily’s Leaving For College.

At seventeen he has the body of a twenty-year-old who spends every day of his life in a gym, which he does. I’m very lucky I get to be his girl; he says he’s the lucky one. Damien helps me with my wrap and holds his arm out for me to take. Dan comes into the room wearing a grin and an identical suit to his best friend. It just happened to be that the boys both picked out the same suit, but it does fit since Danika and I have the same dress. Only hers is blood red with black lace. Despite my brother’s grin, he looks a little flustered and I wonder what kind of drama his girlfriend has pulled this time.

However, he stays his goofy self no matter what she’s done. Dan has this motto that life is too short to stay angry so he never lets anything get him down. He’s one of the happiest people I know and everyone has had a hard time staying man or unhappy when Dan is around. It’s a bit funny though because Dan and Damien are such polar opposites, but I bet my boyfriend would be the same way if his dad didn’t use him as a punching bag on a daily basis. Damien puts on a strong front for everyone, especially, me but I see it, the pain he hides.

We need to leave; Danika is in a panic and is asking for Emily’s help.” I fight back a groan because she really doesn’t need help she just wants to see if I outshine her. I roll my eyes and we all pile into Dan’s brand new ocean blue Rubicon jeep.

“Emily. Emily.” A little girl calls out. “Emily, wake up.” It feels like someone is pushing me, and that’s when I realized I was dreaming. I slowly open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I’m alone in my bedroom at home, the blue paint still on the walls and the posters of all the concerts I’ve been too. The pictures of my family and friends are plastered all over my vanity mirror, and my music box with the little ballerina sits on my white dresser. The homemade bedspread mom and I made last year still covers my bed.

I wanted something to take to my college dorm that reminds me of home so we gathered up all my pictures of my childhood and turned into fabric squares. Glancing over at the quilt one picture stands out to me and tears spring to my eyes, it’s one of my favorite pictures of the two of us. I’m sitting on the dock at the lake with my feet in the water while Damien’s head is my lap. I’m running my fingers through his hair while he looks up at me. It’s the way he watches me, liquid gold orbs so focused and passionate.

Picking myself up off the floor, I place my hand over my small belly, and wipe moisture of my cheek with the other. Too many tears have been shed for our past; it’s time for me to move on. If Damien and I are meant to be then it will happen. I haven’t told anyone about our baby yet because I feel like Damien needs to know first. I’m three in a half months a long now and have been lucky no one has noticed. I’m a small enough girl that I’ve been able to hide my belly with baggie clothes. I’m also eighteen and don’t need my parents consent to see a doctor.

Of course, I should tell my parents, but I’m scared of what they will think, I’m afraid they won’t see me the same way and that I may lose their love and respect. Someday I will have to come clean and thank goodness I have a few months to figure out my next move. For now, I need to pack because tomorrow is the day I start over.

“Come on Emily, please go for me.” My roommate Chrissy begs. We just finished our first week of school and it’s been a stressful one. From being piled down with the course load from hell and some professors seem like they are on a power trip. It also doesn’t help that I spend most of my mornings paying homage to the royal throne by spilling my guts.

She wants to let off some steam and go to a party a boy from her English class invited us too. It’s out in the middle of nowhere and I’m a little hesitant to go to a party in an unfamiliar area and with people I don’t know. “It just doesn’t seem like the safest place, Chris. How about we skip that party and just stay in. We can order take out and watch chick flicks until our heart’s content.” Chrissy sticks her bottom lip out and bats her eyes.

“Please Em, what if you meet a hot guy and you fall madly in love, get married and have lots of babies?” My hand automatically flies to my stomach when she says babies. If only she knew the truth, I did fall madly in love and make a baby. She’s asked my about my morning routine and at one point thought I was bulimic, I told her was just nerves and stress from starting college.

My heart aches when I think about meeting someone new, it will always be Damien’s. As much as I try to convince myself otherwise I just end up breaking down. I never saw my future with anyone but him and I still can’t. Even though he told me to let him go. I’m trying Damien, I really am, but you’re not that easy to replace.

“You need to get out and have some fun, all you do is study. You are wound up so tight it’s making you sick, and don’t think I can’t hear you crying at night. Please just go with me and if you aren’t having any fun will leave.” I know Chrissy is right and I need to get out and have some fun. Maybe some fresh air will do me some good.

“Okay, Chris I’ll go but I’m driving, so if you end up drinking we will be safe.” Her dimples stand out when she smiles, then she starts jumping up and down with excitement.

“Thank you! Thank you, Em, you are the best and I know this will be good for you. I heard that Bryan has a really cute single cousin.” I roll my eyes at her.

“I’m not going to hook up with someone Chris. I’m going so I know you’ll be safe.” She turns and walks towards her room.

“You keep telling yourself that Emily.” She giggles “I have a good feeling about tonight.” She goes into her room and I roll my eyes again. I do that a lot with her.

An hour later we arrive and the party is in full bloom. Luke Bryan’s “Kick the Dust up” blares from the speakers of a red and silver truck. A girl in a bikini top and daisy dukes is sitting on the tailgate hanging all over some dude, who looks like he wants to devour her. A bonfire roaring to life in the middle has people standing or sitting with some type of drink in their hand. This is definitely not my scene but I’m here for Chrissy.

The boy with the half-naked girl turns his head and sees us, his face lights up and a lopsided grin plays on his lips. He’s pretty cute from what I can see but he’s not my type, he pushes the blond girl off harshly which causes her to fall on her butt and for a moment I felt bad for her. Pretty boy jumps off the tailgate and makes his way over to us. The blond gets up and stares daggers at us while she pouts.

“Chrissy, you made it!” He says as he drapes his arm over her shoulder, The guy clearly has no boundaries but all my roommate can do is giggle and bat her eyes at him. “Who’s your friend?” His blue green orbs scan over my body and glaze with lust. Hell to the no freaking way, I get creeper vibes big time. I feel dirty with just his eyes on me and I get the urge to grab Chrissy and get the hell out of here. Just because he has the looks does not make him a good guy.

My naïve friend giggles and traces his arm with her finger. “This is my roommate and friend Emily. Isn’t she a hottie?” Heat rushes to my face and I’m glad it’s dark out. Her friend never takes his eyes off me, I’m extremely uncomfortable. How can she not see him for what he really is?

There is a slight chill in the air tonight, luckily, I didn’t listen to Chrissy and wear something skimpy. My guys would have a field day if they saw me here with barley nothing on.

She wanted me to wear some cut off bootie shorts and a low cut tank. I fought her on that, not only is it freezing out I’m not about to expose my baby bump to these drunk and horny teenagers. I’m wearing a gray sweatshirt with black leggings and black boots. I’m not here to make a fashion statement

I’ve always been insecure with my body, except with Damien. He never made of me feel anything but love and adored. I thought I would never be comfortable being naked in front of someone but after the first time with him, I let my guard down. Now, I have to start over and I don’t know if I’m ready, or if I will ever be ready.

“Emily, you okay?” Creepy dude asks and look up to see him with his arms snaked around Chrissy’s waist, her back pressed to his chest. She looks at ease but what she can’t see is the wicked intent written all over his face. He only wants a hookup and he sees her as an easy lay, I’m going to have to keep my eye on them. I can’t let her get used, it will destroy her.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I survey the party-goers and spot a blue cooler full of water bottles. Here is my chance to get her away from possessive boy for a moment. “Chris, come get water with me please?”

“Yeah, I could use a drink.” She turns in his arms, stands up on her tiptoes and plants a kiss right on his lips. “Where’s the really good stuff hiding?” Her friendly friend flashes a cunning smile and I shudder. He pulls away and takes her hand in his.

“Follow me, ladies.” The last thing I want to do is follow him but I need to follow my friend. They walk side by side and stroll along like the clouds are made of hearts and chocolates. She’s known this guy a week and she’s already acting like a love sick fool. I know I sound like a jealous cow but I think I have a right to be worried about my friend.

I’ve seen guys like him in my life, hell, I was stalked by one most of high school. The look he gives her reminds me of my sperm donor. I keep him buried in the darkest recess of my mind but then but then guys like Bryan pop up and trigger my memories. He walks over to a red cooler, leaving the two of us alone.

“Is that Bryan?" Excitement gleams in her eyes and I feel bad since she really likes this guy and will be destroyed when she gets hurt.

“Yeah, isn’t he great?” No, sweetie, he is anything but great. Instead of being a good friend and telling her what I really think of him, I bite down on my tongue and nod my head. “I really like him Em, and I hope you do too. ”

“Why would you need me to like him?” I’m really confused about this.

“He was hoping you would be here so he could maybe set you up with his cousin Zeek. I know you said you weren’t dating right now but come on, just at least met him.” I should have known something was up when she mentioned this earlier.

“I’ll meet him but I will tell you right now, nothing will come from it. I’m still nursing a broken heart and not ready to start over.” Her face softens in understanding.

“Whoever he is really messed you up huh?” Great, I did not want to talk about Damien at all.

“No, he’s a great guy we loved each other very much but he needed something else. I don’t want to talk about though.“Hot tears fall down my cheek.

“Everything is going to be okay and I’m here for you. I won’t push you into anything and I’ll lay off you dating but at least keep an open mind okay?”

“Okay.” She grins and pulls away when she sees Bryan and another guy walking towards us. They both have those red plastic cups Toby Keith sings about. I stifle a giggle when I realize how cliche that song really is, then remember the number one rule of accepting drinks. “Chris, whatever you do tonight, do not take anything from Bryan or anyone for that matter.” She doesn’t look pissed but she looks downright disgusted that I would even suggest something like that.

“Why?” I hold back my bitter remark and just explain.

“The number one rule is never take a drink from a stranger, and never leave your drink unattended. This is how girls get raped, Chris.” Before she can respond we are interrupted by the two boys. I see a set of bright blue eyes and the world freezes.

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