Numb. That’s the only word I can think of that describes how I feel. I can hear people talking to me but I’m unable to respond. I’ve cried all of my tears, felt all of the hurt and anger all over again. My memory came crashing back to me and after a mix of so many emotions I just don’t feel anything now. I’ve cried and screamed, but now all of my energy is gone. I just lay here in the hospital bed like a rag doll. Unable to do anything. I just sleep, sometimes eat, but I never talk. I haven’t talked for almost a week. Damien and Benjamin come in everyday and try to get me to talk. I don’t though, I don’t even look at them. I don’t even feel like a human being anymore. I feel like an empty shell. My body is here but my mind is miles away. Somewhere far away from this cold dark world that my life has become. I know I can’t keep living like this though. I have to come back to reality. My reality fucking sucks though. I realize now that I’ve never actually been free. I was always trapped; from the minute I was born. Trapped into the world of running and hiding. Trapped to be a prisoner in my own home. Kidnapped by my real father and trapped in his home. I know that once I’m all better and I can leave this hospital I will be trapped again in my father’s home. They will tell me that it is for my safety but that’s what I have always been told. I am tired of being told what to do. I am tired of living life by everyone else's rules. Tonight, when I’m all alone I will escape. I will run away one last time and I will finally be free.