My heart is pounding. The whirl of the fan is the only thing I hear as I watch the clock tick the seconds away. The cool breeze keeps the new layers of sweat from drenching my dress.
Ally hands me a glass of wine, to help calm my nerves. But at this rate, someone needs to give me some weed. Or even just inject it it straight my blood.
I sip the wine. Plum wine. My favorite. I made sure that there was a bottle of it here to help. And it is. I feel a little more relaxed... even if just a tiny bit.
Jamie walks over to me. He starts talking and for some reason, the noise around me just evaporates. His voice is the only thing I can hear. "You ready for this?”
I look at him, not knowing the answer to that question. To be honest, I did know the answer but I couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud. It felt like betrayal to do so.
”Were you on your wedding day?"
He smiled. ”It helped that I had my bachelor party the night before. Still had a small buzz by the time the ceremony started."
"I'm doing the right thing, right?"
He pauses before he answers.
”Only you would know the answer to that."
I stared at him for what felt like an eternity.
I try to say something, but the words become caught in my mouth. So I ended up mouthing it.
"What did you say?" Jamie said puzzled.
We start walking toward the big french doors. The sound of the organ starts and my bride's maids start walking out slowly one by one. Just like we rehearsed. Jamie and I are next. I look up at him just before the organist starts the wedding march.
We start our march.
I look ahead and see Andrew, the man I love and the father of my son. I look back at Jamie, my best friend. I turn back to Andrew, but it's not Andrew anymore. Jamie is there waiting for me. He has that same big goofy grin on his face that hasn’t changed in the past 12 years that I’ve known him. But even now, you can see that it’s slightly different. Deeper. Unbreakable. You can see his eyes glisten as he stares at me. Just looking at him, you can see all the love and affection he has for me. I look at the man walking me beside me. Andrew is looking down at me and he looks so happy. So proud to give me away to such a man. Looking toward the alter, I am walking toward Andrea again and beside me is Jamie. Nothing has changed. Nothing…