Once I opened my eyes, I was met with complete brightness, so bright that I had to close my eyes almost immediately and reopened them slowly.
Why was it so bright?
I moved to push myself up in a sitting position but flinched when I felt a sting on my left hand. Almost instantly, my whole body was aching and I could feel that I had forced my body when I tried to get up. All the muscles in my entire body were screaming as I made the slightest moves.
Memories came rushing back into my brain and without a warning, all the pain was released, as if it was asleep and was waiting until recognition dawned on me. My father.
I realised then that I was at the hospital with both my wrists bandaged.
What was even worst is the fact that it was my father who had brought me here. Well, who else would it be? No one visited us since my mother left us, no relatives, no family friends, nobody. But I remember clearly that we had a lot of people visiting us before.
Before my mom left me alone with him .
I was brought out of my train of thoughts when a nurse came inside, gave me a nod with a small smile and began pressing buttons on the wall right beside my head. When she came to the over side of me, she began adjusting the tube that was connected to my left hand.
I tried to call her but I couldn’t since my throat was dried. I even tried signalling her but I guess she was too preoccupied with what she was doing and then just like that, she took out a black pen and scribbled something messily on the small board that she was holding in her left hand. I was waiting for her to glance up once she was done but she began walking out while continuing on with whatever she was writing.
No wait! I raised my right hand to at least get her attention but retreated back immediately as soon as I felt the pain in my wrist increasing. I needed water and that too, quick.
Just then, I saw a glass full of water sitting on the bedside table but it was too far away. I tried reaching out for it anyway but the door opened and revealed my father.
I froze and gaped when he walked in slowly, a wicked glint flickering in his narrowed eyes.
I tried to get away but he was already perching downwards, right in front of me, his face just millimetres away from mine and I just couldn’t breath, afraid that he would raise his hand to beat me for what I have done.
I did not know what to do. I gulped hard but the dryness in my throat was killing me. I needed water. I felt as if I hadn’t had water since forever.
I was aware that I was shaking in fright and I know that my father was aware too since he had a dark smile playing on his lips when he took in my whole state. I know that he’s satisfied of himself for what I’ve become, all due to him.
I became a coward, all because of him.
I’ve stopped talking, all because of him.
I’m being bullied at school, all because of him.
My life is being ruined, all because of him.
My grades are no longer the same, all because of him.
I’m no longer the same, all because of him.
The door opened once again but this time, it was a young man, around his early twenties, dressed in all black clothes who came in. Even thought he looked like an easy going guy, he sure had a gruff look on his face, almost like he was trying to look tough.
He extended his right outstretched palm towards me once he stopped right beside my dad. When I glance at my dad, he was looking straight at me, and I knew this look. He was warning me.
When the unknown man followed my gaze and stopped on my father’s face, the latter quickly contorted his face into a concerned and worried looking dad, just like how a typical father would react after seeing his child in such a state at the hospital.
The man returned his gaze on me and raised one eyebrow at me while still holding his hand out for me to shake. I flinched when I tried to raise my right hand and the man noticed it, so he dropped his hand while smiling sheepishly at me.
“Sorry, miss. Myself, Jason Palmer, an officer in charged for your case'', he said in an authoritative tone.
“I’ll like to know why you tried to commit suicide...'', he trailed off when he saw me looking wearily at my father.
“Don’t worry, you can tell me anything and of course, I’m sure Mr Thomas won’t scold you if your attempted to suicide is related to some boyfriend issues, right, Mr Thomas?'', he glanced at my father while smiling lightly.
Maybe, he was trying to lighten the atmosphere?
Well, it was in vain.
“Of course, no. I would like to know why my little Lea tried to do something like that and if it’s because of some guy at school, then I’ll personally take matters in my hand.'', he raised his hands exasperatedly, trying to sound like a worried father and for once, I truly wished that my father had not changed at all.
I don’t know who to blame anymore, my mother who left without any reasons or my father who reacted like an unreasonable father.
“I’ll l-like to s-speak to you a-a-alone...“, I couldn’t stop myself from stuttering like a fool while looking down, playing with my hands to stop them from shaking.
“... Of course”, the officer trailed off while squinting one of his eyes at my father but the latter scrambled up quickly.
“As y-you wish.'', my father leaned forward and kissed my forehead lightly but I couldn’t stop myself from flinching with his sudden actions.
The officer’s eyes widened in disbelief when realisation dawned on him but he only spoke when my father closed the door behind him.
“Are you being abused by your own father?'', he questioned me, with a sympathetic look sporting his features.
For once, without hesitation, I took up the courage
and told him everything.
Because I was tired.
Tired of my own life.