I hugged myself once I stepped out of the police car. It’s too chilly out here, my teeth clattered noisily once a light breeze swirled around me. I wished that I had put on some more clothes, like at least a jacket to keep myself warm. I squinted into the dark, since it was already night time to make out the outline of the big house... no, no, no... mansion standing in front of me. It was so huge.
“I think he’s already at home. Come on, let’s - “, Jason muttered as he came to stand by me, rolling my big red suitcase by his side but stopping it by his feet when I interrupted him.
" -are you sure? I think it’ll be better if I just stay at some apartment -
" -are you crazy? Your father has gone missing. For all I know, he might be already watching you from afar and you want to live alone by yourself?“, Jason shook his head in disbelief, like he couldn’t believe it.
I shivered once that thought crossed my mind and the cold wasn’t helping at all. I feel like I’ll catch a cold by tomorrow if I stay outside like this. I’m such a fool. Who, in their right state of mind, would travel outside during spring in a thin hospital dress? However, it was necessary for us to get away from the hospital, from that town as soon as possible because according to Jason, my father will be back and I needed to get away while I still can.
I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up straight like vines, sending a cold chill down my spine, just with the thought of my father catching me after this. I got away but I won’t let him catch me. I can’t because I know what he will do to me after this.
Jason is right....
Two days ago, at the hospital
After basically telling everything to the officer, I couldn’t stop shaking and shivering in fright. I knew my father was just outside this room, so I was afraid of him just bursting in and beating me in anger.
However, the officer grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him straight in the eyes. I had to squint hard to see him clearly since my eyes were watery and everything was too blurry.
“Listen, you don’t have to be scared from now on, okay? It’s my job as a police officer to protect you and believe me, once I’ve said that I’ll protect you, it means that I’ll do so at all cost.”, he reassured me and I simply nodded in response while gulping hard.
When he moved to go outside, I grasped tightly on his right arm, clutching it with my hands.
“P-Please, just get him away from me, I-I-I can’t - “, my voice broke at the end but he caressed my head softly and lightly with his left hand and smiled gently.
“Don’t worry!'', he said and he walked outside once my hold on him loosened.
I gripped my hands altogether and stared at the now closed door and waited, afraid of it opening to my father’s enraging face. I burrowed myself back in the soft pillow and tried to stop thinking about the consequences.
End of flashback
I really hope everything would be alright from now on because I’m tired, tired of every single thing out there, tired of my life. It feels like I’m not living but merely surviving life since my mom left me back then. Before, it was okay, but as soon as my father began becoming aggressive towards me, it was unbearable to tolerate. I just couldn’t do it but I was hopeful, hopeful that my mom will be back, to save me but no. However, I did not accept defeat, I kept holding on the thin thread named hope that slowly seemed to be fading away, becoming thinner and thinner as time moves on. But still, I was hopeful that someone will be there, shining from afar like a bright star, rescuing me from the bottom of the dark hole that I had fallen in from long ago with no way to get out from.
Now, it feels like I’m living in a dream, one that I’ve always dreamed about since my mom left, since my warm and sweet home became a simple house made of bricks and cement, my freedom but why am I not happy to be out of that hell that I was living in? Why am I feeling scared even though I’m no longer at the mercy of my cruel father? Why am I feeling insecure? Why these feelings? Am I afraid of a new beginning?
But, that’s what I needed, right? A new beginning, a new day, a new life, like I’ve been born again? I can be what I want, study and enjoy like a normal teenager. A new school, new environment, new teachers, new people, everything new and new... friends?
But that’s what I’m worried about. New friends...
Will I be able to face new people? Strangers?
What if they judge me?
Oh, I’m tired. No, not mentally but physically tired. I’ve been travelling in Jason’s car for two days straight, with him driving while stopping only twice at two gas stations we found on our way here, just to get some fuel into his car. As for me, he kept on persuading me on eating something but I wasn’t hungry, I just did not have an appetite. Even with all the medicines I ate at the hospital, I just didn’t feel hungry at all. I think that I’ve gotten use to sleeping on empty stomach. All I did at the gas stations, was walk around the car slowly, trying to get rid of tired leg muscles to get them pumped up before getting in the passenger seat again while Jason ate something.
And now, I just can’t keep my eyes from closing on their own. I’m feeling too sleepy. I sighed and followed Jason after he had peeped over his right shoulder to check whether I was walking along with him or not.
He stopped once he reached the doorstep, ringing the doorbell twice and I almost ran into his back but stilled right on time. Phew! I shook my head to get rid of the sleepiness and watched closely as the door threw opened.
What I heard then, was the most sexy and manly voice that had my heart skipping in a beat but I kept my eyes downwards, somewhat finding my worn out sneakers much more interesting than knowing the owner of the voice.