Will I be Forever Alone?

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Chapter three

“Oh! You’re here. What a pleasant surprise?“, the voice said with a tiniest bit of sarcasm and arrogance but with a hint of mockery too.

I felt a light breeze and I caressed my cold arms for some warmth to keep myself from shivering like a chicken in front of the stranger.

“Oops, looks like the lady is cold.”, he once again talked before Jason could say anything in his defence.

Why am I not liking this guy even before clearly looking at him or knowing him? I know that you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover but still. Being myself a victim of that, I would never do so too but there’s something about this guy that screams trouble and I know for sure that I’ll never be able to mingle well with him.

Because I don’t want to fall into yet another hell.

“Ryder, I -

“Should have taken better care of your woman, Jason.'', the man whose name I’ve just learned about muttered in a melancholic tone, like he was feeling sorry for me.

I looked up in shock by what he just said and gasped. This man, no scratch that, this guy was the definition of hot, sexy, handsome and charisma. He is definitely one of those attractive people that God spent his much valuable time on and God has indeed done a good job at that. I could not remove my eyes away now that they fell upon him. I was captivated by him and his hypnotising blue eyes which I knew were locked up on me, figuring out why I’m standing here at the moment. When his eyes met mine, I felt some jolts go up and down my body, and tiny tingles which sent my heart racing. Why do I feel like this? The way he was standing so calmly with his legs and arms crossed while leaning his upper body against the threshold. Why am I getting this weird feeling? Why is my belly churning with different kinds of feelings?

“She’s not my woman. I -

“Really? Then, can I have her for a night, I mean you won’t mind, right?'', Ryder asked Jason while smirking slowly and tsk darkly without looking away.

I quickly took a step back on impulse and shook my head in frustration while squeezing my eyes tightly shut. I felt a pair of hands reaching out to grab on my shoulders but I shook them off of me, feeling disgusted by them. No! Not that, I can’t let that happen to me. I still remember that gruesome feeling when Alex touched me inappropriately. At least all he did was touch me but what this guy was about to do is so much more worse than just that. Well, in my case, that’s how it is.

“Shit! S-She’s having a panic attack -

“What? Then, do something. Aren’t you a police officer? Do -

“Do what? I’m not a freaking doctor -

“Get out of the way then.'', I heard the guy shout aggressively in a hard cold voice and then I felt hands grasping on my arms, shaking me slowly but I pushed him away. No, I don’t want him near me.

I wanted to get away. I just couldn’t stay here. Why do I feel suffocated? I was here, looking for freedom, right? Then, why can’t I find it? Why can’t I get it? Is this how much you hate me, God? Why do I just want to escape and get away? Get away from everything? Get away from my own life? Can I? It’s just like a shadow which is forever stuck with me wherever I go. I mean how can someone run away from his own life? It is his life and he has to deal with no matter what but that’s what I can’t do actually. I can’t deal with it. Not anymore. Never.

“What the hell you’re trying to do? She’s barely breathing -

“Can’t you see that I’m trying.'', the guy said through gritted teeth.

No! He is too near. I could feel him right there, right beside me but I couldn’t get away. I could feel my feet hardening and I just couldn’t move them. No! He’s just trying to get me in bed and that’s it but I don’t want that. I can’t lose my virginity like this. Not to him. Not to someone who would only want me in his bed for a night and throw me away the next morning like a piece of garbage.

Why can’t I breathe? I pried at my throat, trying to remove the thing strangling me, preventing me from getting an ounce of air in my lungs. I shook my head, kept on trying to get away while trying my level best to remove the grasp around my neck but I just couldn’t. What’s happening? What’s wrong with me?

“Fuck! She’s dying -

“Shut the fuck up'', I heard the guy shout.... no whisper over to someone.

He sounded so far away. Have I succeeded in getting away from him? I wanted to open my eyes to search for Jason but I just couldn’t. I could feel dots of blackness covering my eyesight and my head spinning before I could feel myself falling, falling hard but only to be caught by a pair of strong arms.

Only one thing I’ve been able to see is Ryder’s pained face and that he was too close, too close for my liking. But, I couldn’t do anything to get away because I fell in a tunnel of blackness which went deeper and deeper and deeper. I don’t want to fall into the pit of darkness ever again, not when I was so close to my freedom.

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