Will I be Forever Alone?

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Chapter five

“Lea”, I felt someone’s grasp on my shoulders, shaking me.

“Lea, wake up!", someone called out to me.

I groaned and struggled to open my eyes. It’s been a while since I’ve had such a slumber and waking up seemed to be so difficult right now. My eyesight was blurry at first but it then gradually focused on the face leaning above me. Ryder! I gasped and sat up slowly, trying to avoid any contact with him. I pressed my back up to the head of the bed and stared at him who was currently watching my actions closely.

When his eyes traveled up and down my body, his piercing blue eyes sending a bizarre kind of chill down my spine, I covered myself up with the bed sheets, squeezing the material in my fisted hands. He shook his head at my actions and glanced away but I did not miss the tint of pink covering his cheeks for a second before fading away.

“Sorry! I was just thinking... should I run you a bath? You’re still in the hospital dress.", he stated like I was unaware. I felt sweaty and I bet that I was smelling right now. I stayed in this for like how many days already? Three days now? Is he trying to tell me that I’m smelling?

After embarrassingly looking everywhere else except at him, my eyes finally settled down on his frowning face, his eyebrows knitted tightly together, almost touching the ends in the middle. Being stared at always irked me so much that I quickly nodded to which he nodded too.

He gave me his natural cold look before walking into another square in his own bedroom, closing the door behind him and just a little seconds later, I heard the running of water. That must be the bathroom. Wait a second..

Why am I still in his bedroom? Did Jason mean this when he told me that I would be staying at his place? He only said his place, not his bedroom and definitely not his bed.

Without thinking, I got up and went to the door. I knocked on it twice and waited patiently. After waiting for several minutes, there wasn’t any response. Maybe he did not hear. I raised up my right fisted hand and knocked again but stopped because it wasn’t the hard wooden door, instead my hand came into contact with a hard warm thing... his forehead.

We both froze with my hand still on his forehead. His wide eyes and his slightly opened mouth showed how surprised he was and that he wasn’t expecting that. Well, I wasn’t expecting that too. How would I have known that he was going to open the door?

I hastily retreated backwards and shook my head negatively, the thought of asking him about his decision of making me stay in his bedroom long forgotten.

“I-I-I'm s-sorry..", I apologized quickly and sat on the bed quietly, afraid of being scolded by him.

“I-It’s okay.", he cleared out his throat while going back in but turned around with a thoughtful look on his face like he was deep in thought.

All of a sudden, his eyes unexpectedly widened in shock and he just stared at me like he was debating about something.

“You can talk?", he inquired doubtfully.

“Y-Yes...", I replied with my eyes downcast.

I kept on fiddling with my fingernails nervously. “Oh", he drawled out. I looked up at him in surprise and that confirmed my doubts. He wasn’t totally okay with it. I just knew that it wasn’t okay at all, not with his lips sealed in a tight straight grim line like that. I knew that he was getting tired of me and of my behavior.

“Go take your bath, there’s everything in there, and you’ll find towels in the cupboard right to the corner by the door.”, he explained dryly and went out, slamming the bedroom door on his way out, causing me to jump out of fright.

What is wrong with him? Is he giving the cold shoulder or something? But, what did I do wrong? I gazed at the closed door which fortunately did not break.

After basically wasting my time thinking about Ryder and his moody behavior, I went inside the bathroom and closed the door, locking it before undressing. I threw the disgusting hospital dress to the side and smelled my armpits. I smelled awful.

After getting in the bath tub, I settled down carefully, afraid of wetting the floor. Then, I grabbed some shampoo off the antique looking wooden stand and squished some of it on my left outstretched palm. Does Ryder have some kind of fetish for old things? I shrugged and rubbed the shampoo through my damp hair. After having massaged my head well, I wrapped the ends of my hair together and let it rest on the top of my head.

I picked up the soap and scrubbed my body in a circular motion gently and slowly, causing foam to form on my upper back, neck and arms. I played with the foam for a little while before cleaning off my whole body and rinsing the shampoo off my hair.

After lying in the bath tub for a good amount of time, my toes and fingers began to prune, so, I got out. After wiping away the droplets of water on my whole body, I wrapped a big towel that reached just my upper thighs, around my body. I went to the cupboard and took out a small towel to wipe my wet hair. Shivering, I wore some slippers and got out, hoping to find some clothes on the bed but the bed wasn’t empty, there was someone waiting on it. Ryder! I froze, my feet coming to a complete full stop, not knowing where to run.

When his blue eyes got locked with mine, I felt the color rising on my cheeks. I swiftly reached up and tightened the towel, afraid of it slipping away. Ryder’s eyes darkened as they ran the length of my body, stopping briefly to take in my legs before travelling to the mounds of my breasts above the towel. I did not know where to pull at, downwards or upwards?

I maintained a tight grip on the towel, the only thing standing between me and the six foot male who currently had his eyes filled with lust and another kind of emotion I couldn’t quite decipher.

Without breaking the stare, he grunted in a raspy tone, almost in a flirtatious way, “I think we should get you dressed.” A strange yearning came over to me, but I couldn’t allow myself to get more indulged in it.

What was this feeling?

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