Hugging the toilet seat, willing this God awful feeling to go away, I once again bury my face deeper into the bowl and empty the contents of my entire stomach.
Aidan is currently holding my hair away from my face and caressing my back in a soothing manner.
Thank God he loves me because seeing me in this state must be a massive turn off.
Feeling the sickening sensation slowly disappearing, I flush the chain and move so that I’m sitting with my back pressed up against the wall. Aidan offers me a loving smile and places his hand on my thigh to comfort me.
I’ve been sick every day this past week and I’m slowly beginning to think this isn’t just the flu.
I know he’s thinking the same thing because he shoots me a serious look as well as exhaling a heavy sigh. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulls out a brown paper bag and offers it to me.
“We need to know, darling.” he simply states in a loving tone.
I take the unknown object from him and begin to peel back the brown bag, uncovering its contents.
A pregnancy test.
I close my eyes and rest my head on the wall behind me; the tight feeling in my stomach returning. Taking deep breaths, I try not to freak out.
“I know you’re scared but don’t be. We’ll figure it out if...” Aidan begins to speak but slowly trails off towards the end.
I open my eyes and focus in on his. The green in them are shining more prominently under the lighting in his ensuite bathroom. They a swimming with concern and a tang of guilt swells through my body as I come to realise he’s worried about me.
He’s right, we need to know.
I sigh and nod my head.
“Fine but can you let me pee in privacy? I know we’ve been together six months now but I really don’t think our relationship is ready for that amount of intimacy yet.” I say, in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood.
He flashes me a small smile and goes to stand up. Offering me his hands, I grab onto them and pull myself up off of the floor. His lips place a gentle kiss on my forehead and he gives my waist an encouraging squeeze.
“Call for me when you’re done.” he says, his eyes burning into mine.
I nod my head and fake a small smile. He then leaves me alone, standing in his bathroom with only one thing left to do.
After awkwardly peeing on the stick, I place it on the windowsill while I proceed to wash my hands and brush my teeth.
“You can come in.” I call to Aidan on the other side of the door.
It immediately opens and he’s behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist in no time.
“I love you no matter what, okay?” he whispers into my ear, before kissing my cheek.
Both of my hands are resting on either side of the sink and I look at our reflection in the mirror, locking my eyes onto his. I smile at him and turn around so that my front is pressed up against his. Burying my face in his chest, I let out a heavy breath and try to control my erratic mind.
Finding comfort in this position, I wish for nothing more than to be able to stay paused in this moment forever and not have to worry about the results of the stick, resting only a few feet away.
“Has it been enough time now?” he asks, bringing me out of my daze.
I’ve easily been resting on Aidan’s chest for more than five minutes now which is plenty of time. I bring my head up and give him a quick nod before leaving his embrace and walking over to the window.
With trembling hands, I pick up the stick and hesitantly look at what it has to say.
I can feel Aidan’s uneasy gaze on me as I do so and I suddenly become very aware of how real the situation is.
Registering what it says, I bring both hands up to my face and sigh deeply.
“Amelia?” Aidan asks from behind me.
He walks over to me and takes the stick out of my hands, cautiously looking at it.
“Two lines, what does that mean?” he asks again, this time sounding more desperate.
Removing my hands from my face, I turn my body to look at him. His hazel eyes a drowning with: confusion, worry and desperation all at the same time.
Putting him out of his misery, I break my silence.
“It means I’m pregnant, Aidan.”
Dropping the stick in the sink, he closes the distance between us and holds me close to his body. I begin to tremble under his touch as reality sets in.
How can I be pregnant? It doesn’t make sense, none of it does.
“Aidan, I don’t understand. We’ve been careful every time.” I say, my voice muffled from having my head buried deep in his chest.
He pulls away slightly so that he can look at me.
“Not every time.” he replies in a soothing manner.
I screw my face up in confusion before realisation hits me. There had been a party, roughly a month ago, where both Aidan and I had gotten pretty tipsy and we may or may not have used protection afterwards.
How could we have been so stupid?
His thumbs begin to massage my arms in an attempt to comfort me but I quickly move away, leaving his loving touch. I exit the bathroom and frantically search his room for my phone. Within seconds, he’s behind me, grabbing hold of my waist gently.
“What are you looking for?” he asks.
I look at him and I can feel myself getting flustered. My heart literally feels like it is in my mouth and I think I might throw up again any minute now.
“My phone, I need my phone.” I tell him, desperately trying to find the damn thing.
“Okay, we’ll find it. Calm down.” he says, leaving go of my waist and looking through his covers to locate my phone.
I stop what I’m doing and stare at him through narrowed eyes.
“Don’t tell me to calm down, Aidan.” I snap at him.
He looks up to meet my eyes and runs a hand, nervously, through his hair.
“I just meant, don’t freak out about this.” he explains in a hushed tone.
Is he kidding me?
“Don’t freak out? Aidan I’m pregnant!” I whisper-scream, desperately trying not to alert the rest of the house about our little problem.
Huge problem, more like.
Aidan moves around the bed, edging closer to me and takes hold of my hands.
“I know that, Amelia. I get that you’re scared and I understand you wanting to freak out but please can we just sit down and talk things through. We need figure out what we’re going to do.” he says, using his thumbs to slowly caress my knuckles.
I completely freeze on the spot and for a brief second, I lose the ability to formulate words. Ripping my hands away from his grip, I shake my head at him in disbelief.
“What’s there to talk about?” I ask, feeling the panic in me rise even more.
My voice gains a few octaves and my palms begin to sweat, profusely.
Aidan doesn’t say anything in response; instead he just looks at me, his eyebrows knitting together. Realisation, once again, hits me in the face and I begin to shake my head at him.
“You can’t seriously be thinking about us actually having this baby Aidan?” I ask, unsure I even want to hear his answer.
He goes to sit on the edge of his bed; running his hands over his face, gently sighing as he does so.
“Yes Amelia, I’m seriously thinking about it.” he replies, looking up at me.
I’m not really sure how to feel about this piece of information but what I do know is that this is every bit his decision as it is mine. I refuse to be the kind of girl that excludes her boyfriend from an important, life changing decision; especially when it involves him so much.
After all, it is his baby too.
With that in mind, I keep my mouth shut and sit down next to him on his bed. I stare at the carpet, secretly hoping it will give me the answers that I so badly need.
Moving off of the bed and coming down to kneel in front of me, Aidan takes hold of both my hands and tightly grips them in his own.
“The way I see it, is that I want to have kids with you one day. So what if it’s a little early?” he tells me, staring intently into my eyes.
I sigh as I register his words.
“It’s a lot early, Aidan.” I reply, emphasising on the words ‘a lot’.
He too, sighs and pulls me off of the bed and onto his lap.
“I know it is and I know this isn’t exactly ideal but it is what it is and I really don’t want us to get rid of our baby.” he states, softly as he strokes my lower back.
Hearing him use the phrase ‘our baby’ sends an unknown feeling pumping through my body. Shaking away my emotions and moving myself so that I’m positioned more comfortably in his lap, I look into his eyes to see they are full of determination.
I’m not so sure.
“Amelia, think about it. We’re both graduating high school next month. You probably won’t even be showing by then so you can still wear a pretty little dress.” he smirks and I shove his arm, playfully, at his lame attempt to get me to smile.
It works though, because I find myself smiling along with him.
Turning serious, he continues, “We can both take a year out and then go to college after the baby’s here. Locally, of course.”
I laugh at him and shake my head.
“Aidan, we can’t just have a baby then go to college. It’s not going to be able to look after itself you know?” I say.
He smiles at me and chuckles slightly.
“Fine, you’ll go to college and I’ll take care of the baby.” he compromises.
To say I respond with a shocked face would be an understatement. Both my eyebrows shoot up and I cough out a nervous laugh.
“What about you? I’m pretty sure to be a fly businessman; you’ll need some sort of degree?” I tell him.
There’s a brief moment of silence before I carry on.
“I don’t want you to give up your dream for me.” I say, running my fingers along his chest.
“I’m not giving up on my dream, I’m just postponing it. Besides, part of my dream now is having a family with you. Granted; I’d expected it to be when we were both in our thirties but hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right?” he says, kissing me softly on the lips afterwards.
After he breaks the kiss, there’s another moment of silence where neither of us says anything.
“What if you dump me when I get fat?” I ask, humouring him.
He smiles once again, resting his forehead on mine.
“Amelia, it took everything I had to persuade you to be my girlfriend, there’s absolutely no way in hell I’m letting you go. Ever.” he says, smiling at me like an idiot.
“Anyway, I bet you’ll still look irresistibly sexy.” he says, suddenly grabbing me by my lower back and my legs, lifting me off of the floor and onto his bed.
He suddenly appears above me with a mischievous smile plastered across his face and a glimmer of playfulness in his eyes. He lies on top of me, his elbows keeping him propped up.
“You certainly are a very persuasive man Mr. Richards.” I say, playfully.
His face lights up and his smile turns into a full blown grin.
“Does that mean you want to do this?” he asks, sounding hopeful.
I reach up and take his face in both my hands.
“It means I’ll think about it.” I say.
“This isn’t just my decision Aidan and I understand what you want. You just have to give me some time to figure out what it is that I want.” I add, sitting up, making it so that my eyes are level with his.
He nods his heading in understanding and grabs either side of my face.
“I love you so fucking much, you know that?” he practically growls, before attacking my mouth.
“I know Aidan, I love you too."