Chapter 10: Hurt
It was like my body was frozen, the way her fingers gripped her clothing, and the way the lace made her chest pop. It was paralyzing. Her body is perfect, curves in all the places they should be. I'll never fully understand why she's friends with Tia. Is it weird I'm actually craving her? Craving her skin against mine? I mean, I don't want her. She's just another girl I want off my list but, why is it so infuriating that I can't have her?
"Not joining me?" She calls out from the lake
"No I'll just...stay here" I reply
"Boo, you're no fun!" She pouts. I don't understand what's going on with her..why is she acting this way?
"What on earth is going on with you?"
"I'm living" what the fuck does living have to do with stripping down in front of a man you reject?
"Let me know when the other Dawn is back because I don't like this slutty version of her" I snap at her. Almost instantly her face drops.. her radiant smile no longer spread on her face. Why am I so stupid? She quickly gets out of the water and dresses herself not once shes she look up at me.. I cant believe I just said that.
"Dawn, wait" I blurt out. But it's to late, shes already gone. Why did I have to say that? Why couldn't I of just joined in on the fun? Maybe I could of got lucky, I mean she was stripping for me.. does that mean that I have her hooked? Should I run after her and apologize? Nah. She will come back.
After spending the night at Tia's I make my way home, headed straight for my bedroom.
Once I get there I plop onto my bed, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling.
Growing bored, I pull out my laptop and go to the Burn book, I can't help it. I need to know what they're saying.
"That slut complained to Tia, whiny ass bitch. You really think Tia can do anything?"
"Get hit by a bus, Cunt."
I close my laptop, suddenly feeling depressed.
Will it ever stop? I ask myself.
Growing bored, I start to think of who I can hangout with, Jackson's a no go.
Gracie and Daniel are at their dad's today, They're my half sibling's. Same mum different dad. Alexander is doing whatever and my mum is at her friends.
A feeling of sadness rushes through my body as I realize how alone I really am.
I have Tia but she is hard to hangout with sometimes. I love her but I can't deal with her right now.
Wait there's still Lillian. But are we even friends? Tia gave me her number but I haven't used it.
"Hey, It's Dawn. What's up? -Dw"
Before I have a chance to put my phone down she messages back. "Hey!! nothing much, so bored. You? -Lil'
"Same, wanna hangout? -Dw"
"Yeah I'll come over? -Lil"
I send her my address and get out of bed looking for an outfit to wear, I don't want to look like complete shit.
After rummaging around for a while I find a pair of dark blue ripped skinny jeans and a long sleeved grey leopard print shirt and quickly change into them.
I decide to add some makeup because there is dark circles under my eyes, so I apply some foundation and some mascara along with a light peach lipstick, trying to make it look as natural as possible.
As soon as I apply the lipstick I hear a knock at the door. I almost trip from running down the stairs, Yes I'm clumsy.
I open the door and greet Lillian with a smile. "Hey, come in" I say excitedly.
"Hey" she smiles back politely.
I lead her up to my room and take a seat on my bed.
She sits beside me, taking a look around my plain room.
I don't really have anything besides furniture, and one picture of me, my mum and my little sister. Also there's nail polish hand prints on my wall, courtesy of My little sister and brother.
They called it art and honestly, I love it. But my room doesn't really have anything beside that.
"So how have you been settling in?" I ask
"Not to well if I'm honest. Don't get me wrong I'm grateful of you and Tia but the popular group isn't my thing." She says shyly.
"I know the feeling, I hate being around them. But I could Introduce you to Kyla and Miranda, I've known Miranda since diapers and I met Kyla when I was 9, They're pretty great honestly"
"Oh? What are they like?" She asks
"Miranda Is sassy as hell but in a playful way and she is so funny and outgoing, she makes a unicorn seem normal, she's that amazing and Kyla Is also funny, Kinda quirky but in a good way and outgoing, always making everyone laugh and shes sweet as hell. Like she makes sugar bitter." I let out a small laugh. "You'd really like them." I add
"Yeah, they seem more like my kind of people." She laughs.
"I miss them, I don't really see them much anymore." I sigh, realizing it's been a couple months.
"What happened?" She asks
"I don't really know, just lost touch I guess." I admit. Thinking back to all the good times we use to have.
"I remember one time at school, I was walking down the hall and I passed Miranda and I had to do a double take because there she was, In the middle of school, sitting in a hallway straightening her hair." I burst into a fit of giggles, recalling how casual she acted about it.
Lillian bursts out laughing with me.
"And Th-Then I looked at her weirdly an-and she was like 'What? it was going wavy.' l-like it was a completely normal thing to do" I say breathlessly between giggles
Lillian wipes a tear away, still laughing. "I need to meet her"
"Maybe I'll introduce you two at school tomorrow." I say as I start calming down.
"I'd like that."
"Me too, You're really great." I smile.
my phone chimes and I groan. "Who now?"
I drop my phone as soon as I see the message, Turning to Lillian. "Can you leave please? I'm sorry I just want to be alone right now."
She looks at me and nods, understanding before leaving, I follow her and make sure I lock the door behind her.
After I get back to my room, I look at my phone again and read the message over and over.
"Is Tia really your best friend? Cause last time I checked she created that site that's dedicated to hating you, xoxo"
Would she really?