Without You (Book 1)

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Chapter 15: Am I Ready?

Jackson’s pov

I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, I’m in a fucking relationship now and I don’t know if I can do the whole boyfriend thing.

What if I fuck it up? What if I hurt her?

I should have kept my damn mouth shut, I like her but I don’t know, Lillian is more my type and Dawn isn’t.

What am I doing?

“What are you doing?” Carl asks as he walks into my room.

I sit up, sighing. “I fucked up.”

“When don’t you?” He jokes

“Dude I’m being serious” I say as I rub my temples.

“What did you do?”

“I’m dating Dawn.”

He burst out laughing. “Shit, I was right”

“Shut up this isn’t funny. I don’t know what I’m doing” I snap

“Pretty much agreed to fuck the same chick all the time, no other girls oh and you have to be sweet and buy flowers or some shit.”

“Damn it.” I sigh.

“Let’s go out,” he says before walking out of my room.

Great, I really am screwed.

How am I supposed to be a good boyfriend when I have no idea what I’m doing?

_____________________________

“Why’d you take me here?” I ask, looking around at everyone dancing and drinking.

“You need to loosen up buddy.” He says before walking away.

Whatever, I make my way to where the drinks are, pouring myself one.

A girl, light blonde hair and emerald eyes walks up to me, wearing revealing clothes, I look away trying to ignore her.

“Are you here alone?” she asks

“No” I respond, trying to get her to go away.

“That’s too bad, we could of had fun.”

I down my drink and walk away, pulling out my phone to text Dawn.

“What are you doing? -J”

Within seconds she responds, making me smile.

“Not much, wanna hang out? -Dw”

I texted her back telling her to meet me at my house and giving her the address, knowing my mother is working so we won’t be disturbed.

I make my way through the party, heading for the exit when I bump into Lillian.

she smiles brightly “Oh hey! didn’t think I’d see you here.”

I smile back at her. “Yeah but I’m leaving.”

“Nooo stay with me” She says with a fake pout.

“I can’t I’m meeting Dawn somewhere” I admit

“Oh..Okay” Her face falls.

with that I walk away, Temptation everywhere.

“Wait, What if I get Dawn to come here?” She asks, following me.

“I already told her to meet me at my place.”

“But it would be so cool, all of us hanging out” she takes out her phone.

Sighing, I agree.

“Alright, she’s coming.” She beams

________________________

Dawn’s pov

I go to the address Lillian sent me, stepping into the fray of people i look around. Why would they be at a stupid party?

Lillian doesn’t seem like the party type but why would Jackson be here? is this his scene?

How well do I really know him?

“Dawn you made it” Lillian runs up to me, a big smile on her face.

Jackson follows, kissing my head in greeting. “Hey”

I smile at him “Hey, Lillian what are you doing here?”

“Oh my friend invited me, her names Kacie, she’s really great” She beams

“Kacie as in Kacie Vern?” Jackson asks

“Yeah, you know her?” She looks at him excitedly.

“Yeah, she’s a good friend.” He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me to his side.

A look I can’t place crosses her features but leaves soon after. I look between the too, noticing the tension in the air. “Is everything okay?” I ask

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Jackson smiles at me.

“Oh just wondering.” I smile back.

“Want a drink?” Lillian asks

“No I’m good” I say before turning to JAckson “Can we leave?”

he nods and leads me out of the party. as soon as we get outside I turn to him. “So you go to parties often?” I ask

“When Carl asks me to, yeah.”

“Nice” I fake a smile.

He just nods.

“I don’t know how to be a boyfriend” he blurts out.

I laugh at him. “I don’t know how to be a good grilfriend either, I was so worried I’d fuck it up or something.”

He chuckles “Same if I’m being honest. I like how we were together before dating and I don’t want to lose that.”

I place my hand on his neck, pulling myself up and placing a slow, sweet kiss on his lips. “Same.”

“Wanna go to my house?” He asks

“Sure, is anyone home?” I ask

“No, mom is at work” Is all he says.

The thought makes me feel uncomfortable but I shake it off and smile. “Okay.”

_________________________

He leads me straight to his room, sitting on the bed instantly, I stand by the doorway, looking around at his room,

Multiple posters hanging sloppily on the wall, booka laying messily on the dresser and a basket ball in the corner.

“You play basketball?” My eyes light up as I walk to it and pick it up.

He smiles at me. “Yeah but I’m not on a team or anything.

“Is there a net somewhere nearby?” I ask

He nods. “Take me there”

“Why?” he asks, chuckling at my excitement.

“I love basketball” I admit.

“A girl that plays sports. how did I get so lucky?” He laughs

“A girl that can kick your ass” I joke.

“Oh yeah?” He stands up and slowly walks to me

“Mhm” I say, watching him.

he quickly makes his way to me, capturing me by the waist. “Your too slow”

“In a small room yeah.” I smile, trying to escape his grasp

He laughs at me, taking the ball from my hands and raising it above his head as he backs up

“Not fair! I’m short” I complain

He laughs at me and shrugs.

Getting an Idea, I walk up to him.

he looks at me, raising it as high as he can.

I act like im going to get the ball but instead I pull him into a kiss, making him lower the ball to my reach

as soon as he does I take the ball and run out of his house, him on my heels.

“I win” I say triumphantly.

“You cheated” He laughs

“More like played dirty” I joke

I throw the ball at him. ” take me to the net”

He smiles, taking my hand and leading me away.

I’m glad I gave him a chance, he makes me feel better about everything that’s going on, he may not know what’s going on but he’s there for me and that’s all I need. I look over to him smiling. “Thank you.”

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