Chapter 19: Lies
“Dawn, can we talk?” Jackson asks
I look at him confused “we are talking”
He lets out a long sigh “I mean can we have a serious talk”
Fear runs throughout my veins “are you breaking up with me?” I ask
“No! God no Dawn” he wraps his arms around me
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, feeling my body relax. “Oh okay, good. What do you want to talk about?”
“My sister” he lets go of me and sits on his bed, I sit beside him and nod.
I didn’t know he had a sister.
“I know you didn’t know I had a sister, me and my mom don’t talk about it.” He pauses, running a hand through his messy hair. “She’s in a psychiatric center because of severe depression.”
Realization hits me, “You’re telling me this because of what I’m going through.”
He nods as he continues, “she was being bullied, and it went unnoticed by me and my mom, she thought we didn’t care, she was so hurt” his voice breaks, “She was always smiling, laughing and we thought she was okay.”
I grab his hand and squeeze it in an attempt to comfort him.
“One night, I went to her room to ask her a question and” he takes a deep breath centering himself. “She was just laying there, lifeless. She took a bunch of medication. If I didn’t want to ask her a question she would have been dead. It didn’t stop there either, she kept trying and trying and it became too much, my mom sent her away”
A single tear falls down my face, knowing exactly how she felt because I am feeling it too, alone, worthless.
He wipes the tear away “I’m here for you Dawn, you aren’t alone.”
I smile at him. “Can I meet her?”
He looks down at the floor “I haven’t visited her in a while.”
“Oh I’m sorry” I pause awkwardly. “Wanna go to our spot?”
He looks up at me, a smirk gracing his handsome face. “It’s getting late”
I laugh at him. “Since when has that stopped you?”
Before he could answer we hear someone knocking on the door. “Wait here I’ll go see who it is.” He says as he gets up and leaves his room, leaving the bedroom door slightly ajar.
Curiosity causes me to get up and peek out the door.
“What are you doing here?” Jackson asks
“I wanted to see you.” A girl says, sounding like Lillian.
I open the door a little bit to see who it was, definitely Lillian. I stand there and quietly listen
“Dawns here.” Jackson states
“Of course she is, I’ll see you another time then.” She says before stepping away from him.
I quickly go back to sitting on the bed, acting like I wasn’t snooping.
Shortly after Jackson comes back to the room, sitting on the bed beside me.
I put a smile on my face “who was that?”
“Oh it was just Carl” he smiles back like nothing happened.
“What did he want?” I ask
“Oh nothing, just wanted to hangout and I told him I couldn’t. Still want to go to our spot?” He puts his hand on mine.
“Actually I should go home, it is getting pretty late.” I smile before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, and leaving.”
Why did he lie to me? Maybe I should see if Lillian will hang out with me tomorrow.
“Lillian! You made it” I smile with fake happiness.
“Hey I missed you!” She gives me a quick hug.”
“I would have asked you to hangout yesterday but I was with Jackson” I say, trying to pry information from her.
“It’s okay, seriously. I was with family all night anyways.” She says nonchalantly, refusing to make eye contact.
“All night?” I ask
She smiles at me “Yeah, why?”
“Oh I just thought you didn’t like them, you’ve said it before.” I shrug
“Oh yeah” she pauses “it was a do it or you’re grounded thing”
“That makes more sense” I let out a small fake laugh.
They’re both lying to me.
“I know you’re lying to me” I admit.
“Oh, Jackson told you I was looking for you?” She lies again
“Yeah.” I sigh. They aren’t gonna admit anything.
“I just didn’t want you to feel bad, I told him not to tell you.” Another lie.
“You know I consider you my best friend right? After everything you and Jackson were there for me, when everyone else left. So thank you” I smile sadly.
A look of guilt crosses her face before quickly disappearing. “You’re my best friend too Dawn.”
He’s cheating on me isn’t he?
I knew it was too good to be true, no one can actually love me.
I’m a mess, how could they? After last night, the conversation. I started to believe it was real, that I actually had a chance with him, that he loved me.
I was wrong, but I am so afraid to lose him...What am I gonna do?