Chapter 21: Liar
I roll over to see Lillian, still half naked and smiling at me. “You’re cute when you’re sleeping”
I smile back at her, happiest I’ve been in days. “You’re beautiful all the time”
A light blush crosses her face before a more serious look takes over. “When are we gonna tell Dawn?”
I look at her sadly. ” it will break her, Lil.”
She sighs. “I know, I just want to be with you, not just sneak around.”
I roll onto my back, staring up at the roof. “How can I tell her I don’t love her? That I thought I did because she was a challenge and that it’s you I love?”
She lays her head on my chest. “I don’t know.”
We lay there in silence, both knowing that we can’t hide it forever. I like Dawn, as a friend. But Lillian makes me feel alive, she challenges me more than just sexually.
Dawn will be so hurt if she finds out, I need a way to break up with her.
I actually went to school today and got sent into detention, so now I just have to sit here, doing nothing.
I look up in time to see Jackson walk in with his friends, our eyes instantly meet, an invisible force sending electric ripples throughout my body. God I love him. My life has been so much better since he’s been in it. Yeah it was rocky at first but I’m happier now.
He slowly walks up to me, looking at me with something unreadable in his eyes. “We need to talk, after school. Meet me at our spot?” He says as he sits beside me
I smile at him, pure joy lighting up my features. “Okay. I love you.”
His face falls before he quickly fixes it with a smile. “I love you too Dawn.”
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask, confused by the tension rolling off him in waves.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He forces a smile before getting up and rejoining his friends.
I shrug, trying to avoid the feeling of discomfort his mood brought me. He isn’t gonna break up with me after school is he? Did I do something wrong? No. No, I’m just overthinking it.
He loves me, he has no reason to possibly leave me and he isn’t cheating like I thought he was which is a huge relief, he’d never cheat with my best friend of all people, he knows that would kill me.
The teacher clears his throat, and stands up addressing all of us. “You all can go home now, detentions over.”
Jackson walks up to me, wrapping me in a hug. “I’m gonna talk to Lillian, I’ll meet you at our spot, Okay?”
I bite my lip and nod. Is it really necessary? Especially for a gift.
Why do I feel like he’s still lying?
“Lillian” I hear Jackson call out, stopping me in my tracks.
Lillian turns around with the brightest, most hopeful smile I’ve ever seen. “You did it? Is she okay?” She asks him
Her words cause my face to fall.
Jackson looks at her sadly. “I tried but I couldn’t. You’re her best friend and she loves me. I lied and bought us some time though.”
I blink, praying that I’m just hearing and seeing things but I’m not.
Jackson and Lillian are standing there in an embrace, for anyone to see.
I slowly backed away as tears start falling down my cheeks. I’m so stupid for believing him. For trusting them, How could they do this?
I pull out my phone, sending Jackson a quick message before running around the corner and down the hallway, trying to get as far away as possible.
“I can’t make it, something came up. -Dw”
He lied to me, he said he loved me, he said he wasn’t cheating. I can’t go home, my mum can’t see me like this.
I have no one again.
My legs start burning with strain, causing me to stop, nothing around here looks familiar. Why didn’t I pay attention to where I was going?
Oh right, because I just had my heart ripped out. I need something to drink.
Tia. She’ll know where I can find a party, pulling out my phone I send her a quick message.
“Tia...do you still hate me? -Dw”
Before I have a chance to reply she messages me back.
“No. I’m at a party right now if you wanna join, even though it’s not much of your thing. -Tia”
She sends the address and I quickly navigate my way there, coming to a stop in front of a large house with people pouring out of it.
“Dawn!“I hear Tia drunkenly squeal.
I force a smile. “Tia...I’m so sorry”
She pulls me into a tight, warm hug. “I’m sorry too, I’m gonna be a better friend, I promise.”
“So. Where’s the alcohol at?” I ask nonchalantly.
A mischievous smile crossed her face. “Follow me!”
She leads me into the kitchen, avoiding swarms of people.
“What’s your poison?” She asks, searching the fridge.
“Whiskey? If they have any” I say shyly.
“Of course they have whiskey!” She laughs, pouring me a glass filled to the rim.
I down it in a gulp, regretting it instantly as the cool liquid burns my throat. I shake my head. “Lets do shots”
She fills up six shot glasses, three for each of us and we down them one after the other, the alcohol hitting me pretty hard.
“More!” I say excitedly, enjoying the warmth it brings to my chest.
Without question she does more shots with me before leading me to a makeshift dance floor. “Lets dance!” She yells over the loud crowd and I nodded excitedly, feeling the effects of the alcohol making my problems disappear.
We start swaying our hips to some new, catchy pop song.
I feel the newfound confidence and carefree nature soar through my veins, body and soul, making me feel so alive.
The fog of my mind easing my conscious, setting me free from the prison that is my mind. I don’t wanna think anymore, or feel. I just want to do and not care.
I wanna live, not exist.
The night goes by pretty quickly, I’ve had more alcohol then I probably should have, making it difficult to walk.
Jackson’s cheating on me with Lillian and here I am, at a party, losing all my self control and it feels pretty amazing.
I feel amazing like I’m glowing, like I’m happy. I’m free from myself and it’s perfect.
I smile to myself before making my way through the crowd of people, until I suddenly feel dizzy and stumble over my own two feet, crashing into someone’s chest.
“I’m so so-” my words are cut off when I come face to face with Jackson, his shocked face looking back at me.
All the pain from earlier comes crashing back causing me to push him out of the way and make a run for it.
“Dawn!” I hear him call after me, causing me to try and run faster on my drunk legs, not glancing back at him once as everything I felt from earlier is front and center in my mind, tears freely running down my flushed cheeks.
I can’t do this right now.