I reached into my pocket and grabbed a few pills. They were all different. I couldn’t tell which was which given how blurry my sight was as I had been crying. I didn’t even know why I was crying. It wasn’t like I had been bullying my own brother to the point of him hating me.
I put them in my mouth and downed them with some water from the tap. Then I washed my face and dried up with my handkerchief.
When I left the bathroom, it was lunch time. I was probably in there for an hour or two. I didn’t even realize. I met Andrew and Kyle speaking to each other. They looked like they had been arguing.
“Where have you been?” They both asked when they saw me.
“Can you tell King Kong over here to back off?” Andrew said.
Kyle just rolled his eyes and looked at me intently. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I laughed.
“Well, Niall said… ”
“Oh stop it with Niall this and Niall that. I’ve had enough of that kid” I said and laughed at how true it was. Except that he probably had had enough of me and not the other way around. I had hurt him, really bad and he wasn’t even going to acknowledge the fact that I was his brother.
Kyle shook his head though and walked towards me, opening my eye with his finger. “That’s ticklish” I giggled.
“What is he on? What did you give him?” he asked Andrew.
“Hey, I don’t know man. And that’s racist”.
“How is that racist?”
“Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I carry drugs idiot” Andrew stated.
“Idiot” I laughed. These two were funny. The world was funny. I was beginning to see things a bit differently.
“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. But we should probably get him to the nurse” Kyle suggested.
“Nurse” I mumbled. “No. No. She’ll call dad. Please no. I wanna go home” I groaned.
“Aiden, you can’t go home like this” Andrew said.
“Yeah” Kyle said.
“No. Please. I.. I won’t be alone. I’ll call Brian. Please”
They were walking with me now towards the entrance. I didn’t want to go to the nurse. If I did, she’ll call my parents and they’ll send me to a therapist again. I can’t live that life again.
“Then I’ll go there. Please”.
“Okay fine. But call me as soon as you get there. And take a cab” he said.
“Be safe okay?” Andrew said and hugged me and then they both went back to school.
I hurried to my car and even though I struggled to get it open, I managed and drove off towards the club where Brian worked at.
Gosh, I was horny, I realized as I drove towards the club. Maybe Brian could help, I thought and then laughed. He’s hot though. I wondered if he’ll be naked.
When I got there, there were bouncers at the door, as usual. I think they were about four. it was during the day so I wondered why. I tried showing them my ID but it took me way longer to open my wallet than I thought.
“You okay kid?” one of them asked and I looked up at his face. Wow, they all looked alike.
“Of course” I laughed. “Just a moment” I said, trying to open it again. When it didn’t, I gave up and just gave him the wallet.
“I’m here to see Brian” I said to him, giggling to myself. I didn’t know why I was giggling. He nodded and started walking. “Your tattoos are nice” I said, reaching out to touch his arm. There’s a skull tattoo on his bicep. It’s big though, but that’s alright, because he’s big too.
“Keep your hands to yourself kid” he stated and I laughed.
“Okay” I nodded. He sighed and stopped walking, making me bump into him. Next thing I realize, he looked into my eyes, took my wrist and began walking as fast as he could to a further part of the club.
“Wait here!” he told me when we reached a door that says “PRIVATE”. When I nod, he went in and came out a few minutes later with Brian who was bare chested and wearing leather pants with black combat boots. My jaw drops at the wonderful sight before me.
“Damn, you’re hot” I said, unashamed of my words. And why would I be? I had nothing to lose. I wondered why he was dressed like this though. Was he not a bartender? I remembered seeing him in a shirt and tie the last time I was here. The bouncer whispered to him and Brian nodded. He then took my wrist and led me to a corner where no one would see us.
The moment he stopped, I latched myself onto him, kissing him as passionately as I could. Maybe that was why we were here. Ah, I knew I shouldn’t have taken more than one pill. But that’s okay, because Brian is here. He won’t make it get worse. He didn’t kiss me back though making me groan. My hands touched his chest, taking hold of his nipples in the process, hoping he’d get the picture and do something.
“Aiden stop” Brian hissed, prying my hands away from his chest. “You’re not okay” he stated making me groan.
“I’m fine!” I exclaimed, pulling away from him. I just wanted to feel good, what was so wrong about that?
“Oh yeah? Why are you here then, in a gay club of all places? Why are you not in school?” he asked, placing his hands on his waist.
I rolled my eyes. Why was he ruining my high? “I just wanted to be with you” I answered and went ahead to kiss him again but he stopped me by placing his hands on my chest. I whined. Why was he doing this? “Kiss me” I groaned. “Don’t you want to kiss me?”
“As much as I want to kiss you and fuck you right now, I won’t. Not while you’re like this. Aiden, you’re high. What are you even on?” he asked making me giggle. He wanted to fuck me?
“I don’t know. Maybe Ambien, Vicodin or ecstasy. I’m really not sure”, I giggled when his eyes went wide and then tried to step back only to stumble into him. He caught me and I held onto his arms, his big muscular arms and looked up at him. I grinned widely. I stood on my toes and whispered in his ear, “You know, if it makes you feel any better, I’m not a virgin” I said. “Down there, if you catch my drift” I laughed.
“I thought you were straight”.
“Oh, I am” I said, gulping. He took my wrist and started leading me towards some part of the club, further back. It looked secluded.
“So how come you’re not a virgin down there then?” he asked, a hint of amusement to his tone.
I frowned, folding my arms when we stopped in front of a door. “Some assholes fucked me in middle school. But it’s all good now. We can fuck” I smiled and followed him to the room.
There was a big bed in the center, laid with red and black sheets. I couldn’t see the other parts of the room but only because there was a light showing the bed, I think. The whole place was dark otherwise.
“No we’re not fucking. Now why the hell would you take Vicodin?” he asked and he dialled something on his phone.
“Why not? You don’t think I’m hot enough?”
“Aiden, it’s not like that...”
“What is it then? You realize I’m not tight enough for you and that’s it?” I question, walking back towards the door.
“Get back here!” he shouts making me stop immediately. Wow, that was authoritative, I think. I turn to look at him.
“What?” I ask but it comes out as a whisper, I barely even heard it myself.
“On the bed” he stated and I walked there as fast as I could. “Sit”. I sat.
What was happening?
Brian squatted next to me, taking my hands in his. “I’m getting a doctor over here to check you out, and after, you’ll have some food and go straight to bed, am I clear?” he asked, staring deep into my eyes.
“Yes” I answered, nodding my head because I don’t think I can say no when he looks at me like that.
When I woke up, I couldn’t tell what time it was. All I knew was that I was in a wrong bed, in an unknown bedroom and I couldn’t see clearly. What happened?
“You’re finally up” a deep voice said. I turned towards it and saw Brian sitting in a chair just a few inches away from the bed.
“Yeah. Where are we?” I asked.
“The club” he answered shortly, taking a sip of his drink, whiskey, I presumed. Then he got up and came to sit next to me on the bed. He placed his hand on my forehead and my neck and sighed. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why? What happened?” I asked. He was freaking me out. Did I do something? Oh my God, I didn’t sleep with anyone did I?
“What do you remember?” he asked. I thought for a moment, closing my eyes. “Um... I was in school. I talked to Niall...” I answered, and then it hit me. “Niall is my brother” I stated. I told him he was my brother and he said no. He hated me. It hurt yes, but probably not as much as I had hurt him.
“What do you mean Niall is your brother?”
I sighed. “Turns out, my parents, both of them, have been gay since before I was born. It’s a long story really, but it turns out Niall’s father is my dad’s partner, so he’s my step brother I guess”.
Brian just stared at me with wide eyes, probably not understanding anything I had just said. Frankly, I didn’t understand it myself. It was all just strange, to be honest.
“Okay, I see. And what do you remember after that?”
“Not much” I shrugged, answering truthfully.
“Aiden, have you taken any drugs before?” he asked and immediately, I felt my walls coming up. I frowned at him. Did he know about my condition?
I shook my head at him.
“Don’t lie to me” he stated, looking at me with such intense eyes, they actually made him look much taller. Somehow, it made me feel guilty for lying.
“Maybe once or twice” I said, looking anywhere but him.
“Sorry. Um... I’m not sure. A lot” I answered.
“What drugs, and when did you start?”
I sighed. “A few months ago, maybe six. I started with vicodin. Then my dealer added a few others. I mostly just take that one” I said.
“And is that all? Have you taken other drugs?”
“Um... I did cocaine some time ago but I haven’t tried it again” I answered. “But I don’t take them every day. Just on the bad ones. I’m not an addict”
“Oh my God” he sighed, hugging me to his chest. “Aiden”.
“I’m sorry” I cried. I didn’t know why I told him all that. No one knew about the drugs. Not even Kyle. I had kept that a secret for so long. Somehow, telling Brian this took a load off my chest. It felt right telling him, I had no idea why.
“What made you think that was a good idea?” he asked, disappointment evident in his voice.
“I’m sorry” I cried. “I just wanted the pain to stop”.