I stood at the entrance to the living room, biting my bottom lip as I stared at them. They hadn’t even noticed me since they were watching some show on the TV. All I wanted to do was scream at Brian saying, “LOOK AT ME! I’M HERE! WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?” But I couldn’t find it in myself to do so. I could only just watch and try to stop the tears, hoping that by some miracle, he would turn his eyes and notice me.
I didn’t know why I felt this way, but in that moment, it was as though all the joy I had felt in coming here had been sucked out of me, leaving me say and hanging.
I may have stood there for only a few minutes, or at least seconds, but in my mind, it felt like a thousand days of being ignored and it hurt. It wasn’t until there was a clatter in the kitchen that Brian’s attention was removed from the TV to my direction.
The first thing I noticed was the look of irritation on his face, and then his eyes widened and there was surprise, as he had only just seen me after two weeks. Then there was recognition, I assumed and all of a sudden, it went back to irritation again. Our eyes locked in that moment and I thought I saw an endearing look but it was immediately replaced by anger as he quickly got up from his seat, throwing the skinny boy off him. It was amazing how you could see so many expressions on a person’s face and in their eyes once you paid attention.
Had the boy not been lying in the couch, he might have fallen.
I was saddened by the look in his eyes. He was angry at my being here and probably because I had interrupted his sweet time with whoever that boy was.
Brian just stood there, making no move to come to me and I wondered if I should just leave.
I looked from him to the boy, hoping to see if his angered look had anything to do with me or rather, the boy. I really hoped it was meant for him but nothing showed me what I was looking for.
I felt my face morph into a frown at the boy turned to look at me, his bored and indifferent expression changing and he grinned widely.
“Oh, you must be Aiden!” he squealed, getting up from the couch. “You didn’t tell me lover boy was coming over” he stated, hitting Brian in the chest.
My jaw dropped in confusion. What was happening?
“Omg you’re so cute! Like, I can’t even. You didn’t tell me he was this cute. God, he looks like an angel” he squealed even loudly as he came over to me.
Now let me take a few steps back. This guy, who was calling me cute, was the definition of cute. He had angelic features. I’m not even kidding. His medium length dyed blonde hair fell in waves, he had blue eyes, he had light freckles on his cheeks, nose and under eyes. His jaw was simply well defined, his lips weren’t too full but they were the kind of lips that made you want to nibble on them all day.
He was taller than me by a few inches but I had more weight on my body than him.
So why the hell was he calling me cute?!
He grabbed my arm but not forcefully, hooked his arm in mine and dragged me towards the couch. “Your boyfriend really talked you down sweetheart. I mean, I knew you were cute when I saw you at the club the first time but damn, if I had gotten a closer look, you’d be mine” he cooed and rested his head on my shoulder, hugging me, sort of.
I was confused as to what was happening. I couldn’t even find my voice to ask.
“Too bad you’re taken though” he sighed and then turned to Brian, who looker just as confused as me.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” the boy asked him and I raised a brow at Brian. Yeah, aren’t you going to introduce us?
Brian glared at the boy and cleared his throat. “Aiden, this is Zander, he works at the bar” he said to me with a tone I couldn’t decipher. “Zander, this is Aiden...” he said.
“Your boyfriend, I know” Zander said and winked at me. I was starting to like this guy.
“Um, nice to meet you?” I said, but it came out as a question and I felt heat creep up my cheeks. That was so embarrassing.
“Aww, it’s an honour pumpkin pie” he replied.
“Pumpkin pie?” I asked, taken aback by the nick name.
“He gives nick names to everybody” Brian explained. He was back to his usual self, I guessed, which wasn’t a far cry from whatever he was earlier.
“Of course. Kyle is redlacemuffin, Niall is gumdrop and Brian is cockwizard” he explained and I choked.
I slapped my chest a few times, coughing as I did so and dear lord, please tell me I didn’t hear correctly.
“Are you okay?” Zander asked worriedly making me look up at him.
“Cockwizard?” I coughed. He smiled mischievously.
“Of course, he just knows how to work that long thick di...” he was cut short as Brian kept his hand over his mouth but he still kept mumbling behind Brian’s hand making me look at them weirdly.
“Okay, that’s enough. Maybe you should go” Brian said to Zander.
“Cock wizard?” I asked, again, looking from Brian to Zander. Brain was red with embarrassment but Zander looked just fine, if not a tad happier. And it just made me wonder, just who the hell was this guy?
“Well, this is awkward” he drawled and got up from the couch. “I’ve got work in like 6 hours but I need to remove myself from this awkward situation. Byeee!”
He was right.
This was awkward.
It was so awkward that Brian and I were left speechless for close to five minutes after his departure.
I wondered what was going through Brian’s head when all I wanted to know was, why the hell did he call him cock wizard?
“So...” Brian started.
“Who was that?” I asked because I refused to believe they were just co-workers. And what work did he even do at the club? I didn’t remember seeing him there.
“That was Zander” he simply answered and sat back down in the couch. He picked up the remote and proceeded to change the channel and if what he had said answered my question.
“I know that” I stated haughtily. “Who is he, and what was he doing here?” I asked.
“A friend” Brian shrugged.
“A friend who calls you cock wizard?”
Brian rolled his eyes and sighed, not bothering to answer my question. He just kept staring at the TV. No way. I didn’t go through all that trouble if stealing my phone back, driving over here and almost getting emotional because of some boy just for him to ignore me.
I got up and stood right in front of him, blocking his view from the TV.
“What’s your fucking problem?” Brian asked harshly looking up at me.
“I just want to know why he was here and why he rubbing himself all over you and don’t you lie to me that you’re just friends!” I shouted.
“And if we’re not? What’s it to you?”
“You’re excused” he stated and pushed me out of the way making me fall to the couch. Without much thought, I got up and followed him to the kitchen still asking the question he had not yet answered.
“Can you stop badgering me?” he shouted, opening the fridge and taking a bottle of water before walking back to the living room.
“Not until you tell me! I haven’t heard from you in two weeks and I came here to see you and guess what I see. Some guy from nowhere cuddling with you like he’s your boyfriend or something!”
“You have no right to be angry!” Brian barked at me. I did have the right to be angry. But I didn’t get to say that though because Brian continued immediately. “Don’t interrupt me. Do you have any idea how worried I’d been? Do you have any idea of the sleepless nights I’ve had? Just because someone didn’t make no point to contact me after his parents practically threatened to end my life! I called you, numerous times and they didn’t even go to voice mail! Do you know how bad I felt? I thought maybe you didn’t like me anymore, maybe you had gone back to hating gay people and I didn’t know which was worse. And now you’re here shouting at me as if you have all the right in the world to be mad”. He was fuming and I could practically see the fumes coming from his ears. Wow, I was kind of shocked.
I tried to walk away but Brian grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him making me fall into his lap. I gulped. I should have been scared of how angry Brian was but all I could imagine was how hot he looked when he was angry and shouting orders. So I shrugged and straddled him, putting my arms on his shoulders.
“I’m sorry” I apologized. “But that doesn’t mean I’m in the wrong here. I was grounded after you left that day. Mostly because my parents found my pills. So I guess that was my fault, but even then, they had taken my phone and there was nothing I could do. That was the first time I saw my dad so angry and trust, you don’t wanna cross the man when he’s angry. Hell, he grounded me till graduation, can you believe that?” I asked and Brian’s eyes widened.
“He had my phone for those two weeks and I only got it back today” I explained.
Brian sighed as he took a sip from the water, closed the bottle and threw it to the floor making me shake my head. “I’m sorry” he apologized.
“It’s okay” I said softly. “I guess we’re both at fault and we shouldn’t have jumped into conclusions so early”.
“We shouldn’t jump into conclusions at all” he said as his eyes went from my eyes to my lips. There was a mischievous look in his eyes and the smirk that accompanied it assured me that I’d like what was coming.
Brian held my waist tightly as he pulled me closer. He leaned up and captured my lips with his, his soft lips moulding with mine in perfect rhythm. God I missed this. I missed the feel of Brian’s tongue meeting mine and the feel of his hands roaming my back.
“God, I missed you” he groaned at my lips.
“I missed you too” I replied and we went back to exploring each other mouths, hoping to remember each part and make up for the time we lost.
We didn’t have enough time though because Kyle’s voice said in disgust behind us, “take it somewhere private will you?”
I rolled my eyes at him. I would have retorted but I just didn’t have time for him so I settled with my middle finger at Brian carried me to his room, kissing and necking me all the way.
Brian and I were lying on his carpeted floor. I wasn’t bothered though because his carpet was really comfy. I just wondered why he didn’t want to sleep in the bed. My head was on his bare chest and I listened to the sound of his heart beating he rubbed circles on my arms.
My eyes were closed and I was enjoying every bit of time and sereneness with him.
“I can’t believe two whole weeks have gone by” he said lowly.
“I know right” I mumbled. “And to think we both thought that neither of us liked each other”.
“Yeah, we’re such fools” he laughed.
“Maybe you are. I’m no fool”.
“I’m a fool for you” he said and kissed the top of my head.
“Oh my god, you’re so cringy” I chuckled.
“And you’re a child”.
“You’re the one kissing the child” I stated smugly.
“Oh no you didn’t!”
“Oh yes I did!”
Brian growled and reached out for a pillow to hit me with but I was there before him. I grabbed the pillow but before I could hit him with it, Brian had me pinned under him, his arms on both sides of my head, his legs on both sides of my body and his lower region pressing into mine.
“Wanna say that again?” he asked huskily, his hot breath fanning my face. I swear I almost came in my pants.
I shook my head because I knew my voice will betray me. Brian smirked and kissed me quickly before lying down beside me. I snuggled up to him immediately and went back to listening to the sound of his heart.
A thought then occurred to me and I sat up. “Didn’t Kyle tell you I had been grounded?” I asked.
“No” Brian shook his head. “Why?”
“I told him to tell you. I even sent you a text through his phone that I had been going to a therapist and my dad wasn’t letting me leave the house” I explained but Brian just looked like he had no idea what I was talking about.
“No, he didn’t” he shook his head again.
“Guess we have someone to blame for our miscommunication” I stated and laid back down.
“Guess so” Brian mumbled. “So, a therapist?” he asked.
I sighed. Why did I even bring it up? “Yeah” I nodded.
“Um... Why? Is it... Is it because of what happened?” he questioned slowly and I knew exactly what he was talking about.
I shook my head. “No. Not that. Just for the drugs and the cutting. Apparently I’m depressed” I answered.
“Oh” Brian just said. I wondered what he was thinking. “Do you like the doctor? Are they doing their job?” he asked instead.
“Yeah, I guess. She’s been my therapist ever since but I stopped going after a while”.
“Why did you stop going?”
“I thought I was fine” I shrugged.
“You will be though” he told me, kissing the top of my head.
I suddenly felt kind of sad thinking about it. It was a dark part of my life, I guess and talking about it just dampened the mood.
“So Zander” I began, changing the topic.
“Oh, not this again” Brian groaned and I chuckled.
“Come on. I’m genuinely curious. Why cock wizard?” I asked. The name sounded uncanny on my tongue.
Brian sighed as he continued rubbing my arms.
“We uh... we slept together a few times and apparently, I know what do to with a thick, long and hard dick”.
I laughed so hard my chest hurt. I mean, I should have guessed. The name was funny, that was undeniable. However, I felt another kind of emotion run through me.
I guess that somehow, at the back of my mind, I knew that Brian had had sex with multiple persons. I’d even heard him once but I honestly just pushed it aside. It made me wonder, did he want to have sex? Of course he did. But did he want to have it with me? Did he want it now? What if I wasn’t ready?
“You’re quiet” Brian whispered, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“I’m just thinking” I told him.
“Well stop. I don’t care about that” he said.
“How did you know what I was thinking about?”
“I just did” he said and got up. He looked me in the eye and said, “I don’t mind if you’re not ready to have sex baby. I’ll wait for you for as long as you want me to” he said.
“What if I’m never ready?”
“Oh trust me, you will be” he smirked and laid back down. “I mean, have you seen this body?” he said, gesturing to his body. I laughed and pushed his hand away. “But don’t worry baby. We won’t do it, not until you say so”.
I smiled at that.
“Yes baby?” I smiled at the name.
“Um... I don’t mean to accuse you but, did you ever sleep with anyone, while...while I was grounded?”
“No, of course not” he answered immediately. “I know we’re not official but I wouldn’t hurt you like that” he answered.
“Not even with Zander?”
“He’s cute but he’s just not you baby”.
I sighed, a big breath leaving me. I felt my shoulders sag in relief.
“Did you?” he asked.
“No, I didn’t. I went from school to my therapist and then home. And honestly, it never even crossed my mind”.
“Good” he said and I could just hear the smug tone in which he said it.
“Do you want to be official?” I asked after a while.
“yes” Brian whispered, his voice shaky, and shockingly vulnerable. I jumped up from my position and straddled him, staring down at him with wide eyes.
“Of course, if you’ll have me”.
“Yes yes yes yes yes!”
“Come here and let me ravish you” he smirked.