My eyes fluttered open at the feel of someone pulling me. A silly grin graced my face when I realized it was none other than Brian who had pulled me closer to himself so that our bodies were touching. I must have moved away in my sleep. I rubbed my eyes to keep them from closing again and turned to look at the beautiful specimen that lay beside me. My boyfriend. In his bed.
We were in his bed, together and he was soundly asleep. I couldn’t help but grin. I wondered what he was dreaming about. He looked so handsome in his sleep and dare I say, cute. He looked really innocent when he wasn’t smirking. My eyes wandered to his middle and found traces of dried up cum on his stomach. I blushed furiously at that, thank God he wasn’t awake to see me.
What happened a few hours ago was the best thing I’d ever done in my life. I never knew I could feel this much pleasure and I’d do anything to have it again. It was so amazing, blissful and quite honestly, the best night of my life. The way he held me and guided me through it. God, I loved this man.
I stretched over him and picked up my phone which was on the night stand. I turned it on saw three missed calls from dad. He was probably checking if I was coming home or not. Seeing as it was already ten at night, he must have given up.
I called him though, not really bothered about the consequences. Besides, I’m 18, he couldn’t really ground me for not coming home early.
This was far more important however. I needed to do this, no matter what happened.
He answered on the first ring.
“If you’re going to sleep over at your boyfriend’s place, I think I deserve to know so I stop worrying” he said immediately. I bit my lip, reminiscing the events of the night.
“I’m sorry Dad, but I need to ask you for something”.
“What is it?”
“I need that favour”.
After speaking with dad, it took me a long while before I could sleep again. Whiles laying in bed, I kept thinking about what I had done and whether Brian would be okay with it. He was still at my side, sleeping soundly and all I could do was wonder if I had done something right.
I turned on my side to face him, taking in his features. I should tell him more how handsome he is because even in his sleep, this man was incredible. I run my fingers along his torso, tracing his pecs. Something about that made me feel better. So much so that I laid my head on his chest and snuggled in to his side.
I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the sound of his heart beating against my ear. I fell asleep soon after.
When I woke up, the other side of the bed was cold. I knew then that Brian was awake and already out of bed. Where was he?
I rubbed my eyes and got out of bed, taking my shirt from the floor and put it on. I went downstairs, hoping that Brian was still around. I mean, where ear while be though?
Fortunately, he was in the kitchen, standing behind the counter and cooking something. I didn’t know why but it kind of reminded me of the second time I met him.
I had slept over just like last night, the only exception being that I slept in Kyle’s room, and of course, nothing happened. But when I was ready to leave for school, Brian was in the kitchen eating a salad, and he was naked.
I walked up to him and hugged him from behind, resting my head on his back.
“Hey baby” I greeted and kissed his back. “How was your night?”
“Blissful” he responded and turned around, kissing me deeply.
I sighed into the kiss and would have expected it go further had his eggs not started burning.
“So, you slept in your bed last night” I said as he dished the food.
“Yeah, weird right?”
“No, it’s not weird”. How was sleeping in a bed weird?
“To you maybe, but if my mom saw me now, she’d probably cry tears of joy” he chuckled.
What did that mean?
“Do you want to go see them?” I asked, remembering the conversation I had with my father last night.
“Maybe, but that’s impossible anyway” he said. “Take this to the dining table” he handed me a plate with eggs and bacon.
“Sure. But what if you had the chance to go, will you? I mean, it could be fun. We could go sightseeing afterwards. And I saw that your sister is performing in a play at her school on her instagram post. Maybe we could go see that” I suggested.
“We?” Brian chuckled. “Don’t start getting any ideas love. As much as I’d like to see them again, he wouldn’t let me. And there’s nothing I can do about it”.
I sighed. I still didn’t get it. “But what if...”
“But nothing. I’m not going there. End of story. Where did you even get that idea from?” he questioned.
I shrugged. “I just saw how much you missed your sister and I thought it’d be nice. I just found out I had a brother and it’s been great so far. I don’t want you to miss out” I stated, and that was what I felt genuinely. I reached out and took his big hands in mine, squeezing them gently.
“I’m not, trust me. It’s be nice but no” he stated making me sigh.
Oh God, this was not good. This was so not good. Brian was going kill me if he ever found out. What the hell was I thinking? That somehow I could be his fairy god boyfriend and magically make his life better? What was wrong with me?
I couldn’t tell him, no matter what. It would crush him. He would be so angry and disappointed. But was it really my fault that he said no after I had done it? And it wasn’t like I could go back for my money.
I assumed that it would be extraordinary and incredible. All I wanted to do was make him happy. I sighed.
I couldn’t keep the thoughts out of my head, even as my classes were going on. Honestly, I didn’t hear a thing but I’d just ask Kyle to teach me later. This was another problem I had but currently, there were much more pressing matters.
The bell rung as I was still deep in thought, making me cringe at the sound. Why did it have to be so loud? With a sigh, I got up from my seat and headed over to lunch.
Since breaking up with Gabrielle, I had begun sitting with Kyle and Niall. Andrew said he didn’t mind when I asked him once but today, he was already at the table when I got there and was sitting with Niall.
It made me wonder, was Andrew still homophobic? He had never really hurt Niall like I did so I didn’t know if he was just following me or if he actually thought that being a homosexual was weird.
But he didn’t treat me any differently after I had told him what I went through. I still hadn’t told him I was bisexual and I doubted if he would be bothered.
I took in a deep breath and went to sit with them. This was so not how I had imagined the day to go. To be honest, I hadn’t really imagined how it would go, I just didn’t expect to come out to one of my friends. But it was better than wallowing in self-pity at the bad thing I did last night.
“Hey bro, what’s up? It’s been so long” he greeted, smiling at me.
“Nothing much” I said, my expression a hundred percent opposite of his.
“Why so glum?”
“It’s nothing, really” I shrugged and looked away, picking at my fries.
“It’s not nothing” Niall said and I glared at him. What did he know? I hadn’t told him anything yet.
“Yes it is”! I argued.
“So you’re admitting that there is something?”
I rolled my eyes at them. “It’s not a big deal. Why aren’t you sitting with your girlfriend and Gabrielle?” I asked.
“It’s a little weird since you’re not with her anymore” He answered simply. It did make sense though. “So, what’s up?”
It took me a while, after taking in some deep breaths, and scaring the crap out of Andrew, I finally asked, “Do you know Brian?”
My jaw dropped. How did he know that? I didn’t think I had told him about Brian before. I know I asked but my question was meant to be rhetorical and I would have continued with, “well, he lives with Kyle...“.
“Niall just told me”.
I looked at Niall then and he just looked innocent as though he hadn’t said anything.
“Well, I’m kind of dating him now” I said finally.
“Kind of? Dude, you’re either dating someone or you’re not. There’s no grey area” he stated.
“Okay, fine. I’m dating him” I answered and he nodded. “So you’re not bothered?”
“No, why would I be? It’s not like he’s a pedo or anything right?”
“Nah, of course not. I mean, he’s a little older but I’m eighteen so... ”
“Then it’s great. Hope he’s treating you good” Andrew said.
I could only stare at him as he ate his fries. I may have not anticipated it much but for a small moment when I thought about telling him, I wondered if he would get angry and storm off.
“You gonna eat that?” Andrew asked, pointing to my fries. When I shook my head, he dipped his hands in and took a handful.
I guess that was that. I guess I was grateful that I didn’t have to deal with homophobia from my friends. After what I’d done in the past, and what I had seen happen to Zander, I was scared of the kinds of things people could do. I mean, I’ve seen it first-hand but that wasn’t because I was bisexual.
“Where’s Kyle?” I asked Niall since Kyle hadn’t been at the table yet.
“He had to tutor some kid. Trust me, he’s not happy about it” he answered and I nodded.
“Guys, I need to ask you something”
“What is it?” that was Niall.
“I did something bad” I stated and proceeded to tell them about what I asked my dad to do.
I was walking back to class with Andrew who was attempting to give me some advice on what to do when we heard an angry voice call me.
We turned to see Gabrielle rushing towards me.
“Hey Gabby” I greeted, not as cheerfully as I had intended but whatever.
“You’re fucking gay!” she screamed at me, making everyone stop to look towards us.
“You thought I wouldn’t hear about it? We just heard you telling Andrew you have a boyfriend. Were you cheating on me?”
“Answer the question!”
I looked towards Andrew and he raised his hands at me, shaking his head, as if to say he wasn’t getting into this.
Shaking my head, I took her hand and led her through the mass of students who couldn’t help but stare at us, to the nearest janitor’s closet. Fucking gossips!
“So?” she asked when I closed the door.
“No, I didn’t cheat on you. I may have kissed him once but that was the night we had a problem. And we broke up right after, remember?”
“Have you been gay all this time?” she asked instead.
“No. I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. I still like girls, but I like Brian more and we’re dating”.
“So you decided to go out with me and sleep with me even though you knew you were gay? Seriously? Was I just an experiment to you? For you to see if you could be straight?”
“I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. It’s not rocket science and you weren’t an experiment. I’m not that heartless!” I stated angrily. At this point, I didn’t even care if I was shouting or not. I had way more important things to care about than Gabrielle’s feelings getting hurt because I like men now. I mean, can anyone be so butt hurt over this?
“You’re disgusting” she spit at me and walked away, with her friends following her.
Shaking my head in disgust, I wiped my face off with my sweater, making a mental note to throw it away later, or even burn it. I turned to my locker to see Andrew staring at me, looking as though he’s been trying so hard to keep from laughing. Honestly, he just looked like he was going to shit himself.
“Sorry bro,” Andrew says but I know he still found it amusing.
“It’s alright” I respond genuinely, because I’d rather have all my friends at my side than be with Gabrielle again. Besides, wasn’t she the one who broke up with me in the first place? She literally said we should be friends because we didn’t know each other well and didn’t speak to me again.
“Anyway, when do I get to meet this boyfriend of yours?” Andrew asks whiles we’re on our way to class.
“Soon, if he doesn’t kill me for what I did”.
“Remind me, what did you do?”
Of course he would forget. That’s what I get for telling a boy who was busily thinking about his girlfriend about my relationship problems. Sighing, I told him all about it again and this time, he listened intently. Before he could respond and give me any sound advice, the teacher walked in and started passing out papers for a test.
I am so going to fail this test.
“You can copy my answers” Andrew whispered.
“You’re a life saver!”
After school, I met up with Kyle and Niall to get a ride in with them since I didn’t bring my car. I would have called Brian or dad to come pick me up but I didn’t want to go see Miss Imane Mills or actually talk to Brian yet. I needed some advice on what to do.
The right part of my brain was telling me to tell him and the left side was saying no way, that Brian would get angry.
“What do you think I should do?” I asked Kyle when we sat in his car.
“About what?” he asked and it occurred to me that I hadn’t told him yet. Before I could say anything, Niall blabbered to him about what I did making Kyle gasp.
Even Kyle was scared of what might happen. I couldn’t help but hate myself right now. I did this on impulse and now Brian was going to be mad at me. I shouldn’t have but I really just wanted to make him happy.
“Oh my God” Kyle gasped. “What made you think you could do that? They hate him!”
“Only one of them does. It’s not a big deal. I just wanted to do something nice”.
“Don’t you think you’re crossing a boundary here?”
Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. I want even sure at this point.
“I think you should tell him” he suggested.
“What, are you crazy?”
“Why? What’s he gonna do?”
“Um, get angry and break up with me?” I wouldn’t know what to do if that ever happened. I really liked Brian and it would kill me if he left me, to be honest. I didn’t think I would like someone as much as I liked him. I would go as far as to say I loved him but what if he wasn’t ready for that?
“I don’t think he’ll go that far” Niall stated. “Sure, he’ll get angry for a while but he’d come back to his senses and realize that you were just trying to help”.
“I guess you’re right” I said in defeat.
Oh god! When do we get home?
It was just three in the afternoon when we got home and of course, Brian was there. He was watching a certain show on TV that I didn’t really care for. I stood in the hall way and stared at him for a long time, wondering how I was going to tell him. I turned to look at Kyle and Niall and they just gave me thumbs up.
Shaking my head, I walked towards Brian and sat in his lap, back pack and all. He chuckled as I rested in the crook of his neck.
“Getting comfortable?” he teased and I just hummed. Brian helped me take off my back pack and I got more comfortable, straddling him. My knees on either side of his thighs.
“How was your day?” I asked.
“Normal. I didn’t do much, just AutoCAD stuff. How was school?”
I hummed again. It wasn’t that great. Gabrielle was mad at me for no good reason but the good part was Andrew didn’t hate me.
“What’s wrong baby?” Brian asked me, worry evident in his voice. I hung my head in shame at that. If he knew, he wouldn’t feel sorry for me.
“I ... uh...”
“What’s going on?”
“Brian, please don’t be angry. I know you said I shouldn’t do anything but... I asked my dad for a favour... Um ... He uh, he helped me look for your parents and sister”
“What? Why the hell would you ask him to do that?” he asked immediately, carrying me off his lap and getting up to his feet.
I scratched the back of my neck and stared at the ground awkwardly.
“I bought us plane tickets to go see your sister. I saw how much you missed her and wanted to do what I could to make you see her”, I say hurriedly. “I know it’s not my place and I shouldn’t have, but last week, when we talked about her, your voice broke and it made me so sad to see you like that” I explain, searching his face and eyes for any sign of anger or disappointment or perhaps, gratitude but all I see is a blank space.