The Bartender

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Chapter Nine

I was supposed to pick Gabrielle up at eight, as usual but I had to wait for my mom to come home first. She had spent the night out and I was worried. My mom never spent the night out unless she was with my dad. She worked at home too, so it definitely wasn’t work that was keeping her away. I had sent the maids away to their quarters already. When it was seven thirty and she hadn’t come home, I decided to just give her a call later.

I showered quickly and dressed up in my usual clothes. A black leather jacket, a white T-shirt, black ripped skinned jeans and black boots. I run my hand through my hair to brush it after spraying on my Cologne. I looked in the mirror and smiled at my reflection. I looked good.

I got to Gabrielle’s house at fifteen minutes past eight but that was cool, because she wasn’t even ready then. The movie was to start at nine and I had wanted to take her to dinner first but by the time she was ready, going to dinner would mean no movie.

It was her favourite movie though, and even though I hated it, I wanted to make things work between us. That would help me get off my sexual frustration, I hoped.

We got to the cinema on time and I held her hand like any normal couple would do, which I usually do, but it felt strange today. I wanted to rip my hand away from hers but I knew that I couldn’t. After paying for the tickets to see Fifty Shades of Grey, I paid for our snacks as well and we went on to the theatre.

I honestly didn’t like this movie and wondered what was so nice about it. I mean, why would anyone love being spanked and all that shit. Besides, it ended on a bad note. After having seen it once with her, I was bored but there was nothing I could do since she was my girlfriend. I really didn’t get why she got so worked up and flustered on such a movie.

I sighed as I checked my wrist watch. I just wanted the movie to end so I could kiss her goodbye. I was already feeling tired. She tugged the sleeve of my shirt, pulling me close and kissed me. I gladly returned the kiss and when Gabrielle moaned, I knew it was time to get going. I was going to have so much fun.

•••

I woke up to the sound of soft snores beside me. My eyes fluttered open wearily and I saw an arm draped over my torso. For a moment I seemed confused, but I turned and saw Gabrielle laying next to me. I should have been happy or a little glad, but I wasn’t at all.

I lifted her arm off me and sat up. I rubbed my eyes to get awake properly. I wasn’t happy that I had sex with her. It felt wrong, so wrong as I remembered what happened the night before. I should’ve felt ecstatic about it. That’s what I wanted after all, wasn’t it? But no. For some weird reason, I felt totally disgusted with myself. I shook my head.

I got up and went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and took a quick shower. When I came back to the bedroom, Gabrielle was awake and looking around.

‘Oh shit!’ I cursed silently. I never brought anyone home. No one in school knew where I lived. I didn’t want to get teased again. She was looking around as if she had never seen a bedroom before and I should have been proud, cause, yeah, I was rich as hell, but I wasn’t. I knew she was just going to tell everyone and they’ll all become my friends because of money.

“Hi” I said begrudgingly to her.

“Morning babe” she smiled and I frowned. “Is this your house?”

“No. My uncle’s”. The thought of this being my uncle’s house was completely ridiculous and irrational but I couldn’t risk it.

“Oh okay. Well, can I take a shower?”

“Yeah, sure”.

I dressed up quickly when she went to the bathroom and went down to the maid’s quarters to get a new set of clothes for her.

After having breakfast, I drove us to school. My mom wasn’t at breakfast and I was getting worried. I forgot to call her but she would have called if anything was wrong right? I couldn’t help but fear that something bad had happened to my mom. And my dad hadn’t called him either. Not that I minded, because I didn’t at all, but I just felt that they should assure me that they were fine.

We got to school right before the bell rung and I gave Gabrielle a slight peck on the lips before heading on to class.

I sat at my usual seat since there was someone seated in the desk beside Kyle. I would have asked them to leave but I didn’t feel like bullying anyone. So I just sat down and tried to listen to the teacher, which by the way, was a fruitless effort.

I wasn’t really thinking about anyone or anything. My mind just decided to wander off to an unknown land. I found it difficult to pay attention in class and I was getting worried. I just really wanted to get good grades and go to college. My main reason was that I wanted to earn a life for myself. I knew that my parent’s money wasn’t my money so I wanted to work hard. If anything, my parents were my role models and I wanted to be like them.

After school, I went with Kyle to Kyle’s house to start the small study session that they had planned the day before. I was hoping it would go quite well since I was having trouble with paying attention in class. I just hoped that my mind wouldn’t choose to wander off somewhere while Kyle taught him.

We got there after a few minutes and I became nervous. I remembered what happened the last time I was here and I wasn’t sure I wanted to see Brian. I had thought I did what I did because I had not had sex in a long time, but now, I wasn’t even sure anymore. I didn’t even like what I did with Gabrielle and somehow, I was disgusted by it.

I sighed nervously as we entered the house. The living room was clean which made me surprised. But considering I’d been there just once, it was no big deal. There was no sign of Brian anyway and I exhaled in relief as I followed Kyle upstairs to his bedroom.

Tugging off my shoes, I made myself comfortable on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Kyle went down to get some snacks as I waited. I picked up my biology notebook from my bag and opened a random page. I read a few lines and then let out a breath of annoyance as I was getting bored.

The door opened and I smiled as I looked up, expecting to see Kyle with packs of cheese balls but no. Brian stood there with a towel draped around his waist, hair dripping wet and sticking to his forehead and his body wet as well. My lips went wide with awe as I stared the handsome man who leaned against the door smirking at me.

“Hi” Brian smiled.

My words were stuck in my throat and I could feel myself blushing. I never blushed - that was until I met this Brian person. Ugh! I groaned. I rubbed my cheeks in frustration and nodded to Brian who only chuckled. I could feel sweat already forming on my forehead which was weird because that never happened to me. I never got flustered and nervous around anyone. And especially not when around a guy.

“Where’s Kyle?” Brian asked as though he were oblivious of my dilemma. I couldn’t help but think he was making fun of me. I mean, who does that? Coming over here, dripping wet and looking sexy as hell... No! No! Not sexy. God no!

I pointed to the hallway timidly as if to say Kyle went downstairs and as if on cue, his head came in view just then.

“Oh hey. Aren’t you supposed to be out with Dan?” Kyle asked upon seeing Brian in the room. Who was this Dan that Brian was supposedly meeting with? Was he his boyfriend? Also, why was i thinking about Brian having a boyfriend?

“Yeah. Will be leaving soon” he said turning his attention to Kyle. “Just wanted to tell you not to wait up”. At this point, I had pretty much had it with them and could do nothing about the frown on my face.

“Today too? Come on!” Kyle whined.

“It’s only for tonight” he assured and kissed Kyle’s forehead before leaving the room.

Kyle closed the door and I heard him grumble something under his breath. It was all strange to me. Brian and Kyle behaved as though they were family, or even more than. It was weird. Why would he kiss his forehead? I knew they weren’t related in any way since I knew everyone in Kyle’s family. But Kyle had been gone for a long time so I just wasn’t sure.

“Who exactly is Brian?” I asked as Kyle placed the snacks on the bed.

“Friend. He’s more like a brother to me” he smiled.

“You guys act cosy” I scrunched my nose. “As if you’re dating”.

Kyle choked on his juice and started laughing loudly. “No. No. We’re not dating” he chuckled.

I nodded. “But he is gay right?”

“Yeah” Kyle turned his attention to the books in front of them and I realized that he didn’t want to talk about it. But I did, really. I wanted to hear everything about Brian. However, I decided to let it go and ask some other time which I knew was going to happen soon since I didn’t have the patience of a saint. I just wanted to know what was going on in my best friend’s life.

We read a few pages together and Kyle gave me a few questions to work on. I did well, for a while, until I began to think about Brian again. I was experiencing some sort of feelings for the guy and I knew it wasn’t just feelings. Emotional, mental, physical, sexual, in fact, the whole package but I wasn’t gay. I don’t even wish to be. I frowned and looked up from his book.

“Why do you live with him?”

Kyle hesitated before saying, “it’s a long story”.

“Come on, I’m your best friend. You can tell me” I pleaded.

“Its really no big deal. I’ll tell you later”.

I sighed. If it was no big deal, why was he keeping it a secret. My main concern was how Kyle could cope with Brian. “But you know he’s a faggot right? What if he rapes you or something”?

“Here we go again” Kyle may have rolled his eyes to the underworld and back. “He’s not going to rape me. I don’t care if he’s gay or not okay”.

“But he’s still a faggot. You never know what’s up with those perverts” I mumbled as I remembered the show Brian put on that fateful morning.

“Don’t call him that. He is not a faggot. Okay! Being gay doesn’t determine his personality. Being straight doesn’t make you much more of a human being than he is, so stop jumping into conclusions”.

“So you have no problem with it?”

“No. None at all. In fact, I love it. He makes me feel secure about myself and doesn’t treat me like I’m some outcast” Kyle tried to reason with me.

I looked down at my folded hands trying to put together everything Kyle was saying. Kyle shouldn’t be defending a homosexual. He knew it was not right. It wasn’t. Men are not supposed to sleep with men. But then again, I did find him sexy so did that mean I was a homo as well? This was not right.

Kyle’s phone rang at that moment and I looked at him. Kyle rolled his eyes and answered the call as he headed to the bathroom. “Oh and he is not a pervert. He may be gay, but he definitely doesn’t want to jump every guy he sees so stop worrying”.

Okay that may be true, I thought to myself. But it wasn’t Brian who was worrying. The problem was with myself. I had only seen Brian a few times and all of a sudden, I wanted to know how sex with a guy would be like. That was a serious issue which needed to be fixed and I was going to do whatever I could to get rid of those “feelings”. If I could.

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