November 29th 2017
Audrey sat still in her seat, her hands in her lap. She had spent the past two days drowning in her own grief. She hadn’t left the house, she hadn’t done any work and she had barely eaten. She had spent nearly all of her time on the couch in the living room, her eyes trained on the front door, waiting for the sound of keys; but they never came. Just like Calvin.
That morning when she woke up, she knew that it was time to end things.
She might have managed to fool herself these past couple of days, promising herself that she wouldn’t get her hopes up and that it was the last time, but no more.
This time she meant business.
It seemed that her traitorous betrayed her whenever Calvin was near, so she would just have to finish it all without him being there.
Audrey had called her lawyer before she had eaten breakfast. She was surprised to find that the lawyer still possessed a copy of their divorce papers from two months ago, even the copy that Calvin had already signed.
She was going to go pick them up later that afternoon but for now, she continued to stare at the wall in front of her, waiting for her name to be called.
You see, she had also received a call that morning. From the doctor.
It appeared that their test results were finally back from the lab, and the doctor had insisted that both Mr and Mrs Paynter come in to talk to him. Too bad she was determined to be Mrs Paynter no more.
Audrey frowned when the nurse finally called her name. “Mrs Paynter.” She also cringed, but didn’t say anything as she followed the lady to the doctor’s room.
Offering her a small smile, she waited for her to leave before she knocked on the door.
“Come in,” called a voice from inside.
Audrey greeted the doctor before taking a seat.
Conversation was easy, though she did tense a little when he asked about Calvin. Luckily, it didn’t take too much to convince the doctor that he got caught up in work and couldn’t make it.
Audrey listened attentively to everything that the doctor had said. Her eyes had widened in shock when he explained the situation, though she finally started to believe it when he showed her the results that came back. The more he spoke, the more real it seemed even though it was all so hard to believe.
Both doctor and patient sat in silence after that for a while. He had his lunch break next and she was still in shock, so he allowed her a few minutes to herself while he finished printing a second copy of the results. Sealing them in an envelope, he added a formal letter explaining the results in it also before he handed it to Audrey and sent it on her merry way.
News like that was always hard to break to people.
Audrey found herself walking aimlessly down the halls of the hospital. She kept her head down and clutched the envelope in her hand tightly, afraid that it would disappear.
It was only when she got to her car that she breathed a sigh of relief.
And then she cried, but they were happy tears.
Blinking away the remained tears, she wiped her face and then her nose before she opened up the envelope. For once in a long time, Audrey was happy. She was genuinely happy. This was the best news that anyone could ever give her. Though usually, someone’s happiness meant someone else’s sorrow, and this case was no different.
After reading the letter for a third time to be completely sure, she placed it back in the envelope with the results.
She sat in the driver’s seat and relaxed for a moment, thinking over all the new information that she had just learned.
There was nothing wrong with her. She was healthy, her body was healthy and her eggs were most certainly healthy too. She could have kids! Audrey was perfectly fine. She could have children and start her own family. She could have as many kids as she wanted.
After all these years believing that she couldn’t have kids, that it was her fault that they couldn’t start a family, the news sounded foreign to her; almost alien. It was so hard to believe that she could get pregnant and give birth to her own children that the doctor had, had to repeat it several times before she even believed that she had heard him right.
Calvin had drilled it into her over and over again that it was her fault that she couldn’t give him children and over time, she had started to believe it. Hearing the same thing over and over again did that to a person.
The fact that she could have kids meant that the problem was somewhere else.
It was Calvin.
He couldn’t have kids.
The whole situation was ironic, it truly was. But the facts were there and now, it was their choice whether they wanted to believe it or not. She knew that Calvin would never believe it. In fact, he would probably rip up the letter and throw it away. He would then get on the phone to the doctor and demand for him to say otherwise, to do the tests again.
Audrey laid her head back against the head rest and let her mind free.
Just one more time, she promised herself. Once more, and then never again.
Turning on the ignition and strapping herself in, she pulled out of the parking lot. It was time to put her plan into action.
It was time for the end.
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