It's been an hour since Derek left.
I can feel your pain.
That's been replaying in my head over and over. I don't understand him, first he bullies me at school saying hurtful things but now he is being nice to me?
I know what that word is but what made him think and say such words.
He is weird.
Changing into my sweat pants and baggy purple shirt, I brush my teeth before going to bed.
I told my dad I wasn't hungry and he asked where Derek went I told him he left in a hurry. Dad looked at me sceptically but nod.
He is acting strange tonight. My dad never has been nice to me like this since mom died. Maybe he is turning over a new leaf?
My brothers are a different story. They mocked me for being with Derek, saying I'm a slut and is only with him for freedom. Calling it an easy way out.
That hurt so much. My own brothers calling me a slut hurt deep inside me.
I hate that they hate me.
The worse part is, is I still love them.
Laying in bed I snuggled in finally letting sleep take over.
I couldn't breath.
Hearing the sounds of my voice hacking up.
My eyes snapped open in fear, my air way is clogged up. I cough and choked out for air but I couldn't get any.
Eyes in a haze I blinked my tears away focusing my vision on the blurry sight of a dark figure up top of me.
My eyes widen in fear, petrified at the scene before me.
My dad is on top of me.
"D-dddad." I choked out as he tightens his hands around my small neck. Pressing further into my pillow I tried to pry his hands off by clawing them with my nails.
His eyes narrow showing a darkness I've never seen on him before. Something about his eyes didn't look like him. And that scared me even more.
"Your brothers told me, and I hope you die. You don't deserve to live!" He seethed inches away from my face.
My lips tremble at the words, I tried to talk, I tried to speak but to no subdue. His grip tightens even more having me see black dots swirl around my vision.
The sight of him is so vial and evil.
He is killing me.
My mouth opens to scream but nothing came out.
Dad spat, "you killed your mother, you pathetic bitch, you deserve this, you deserve everything bad." He lets go of my neck.
Spluttering and inhaling much needed air I coughed aggressively, "d-dad please its not my-
"Shut up! You fucking bitch!"
I shut my quiving lips as tears run down my pink cheeks.
He stares for a long moment with a snarl to his lips, he looked disgusted.
With that he turns and leaves my room slamming the door closed.
I waled all night into my pillow releasing streams down my face not caring about drenching my pillow case from my sobs.
My family hates me.
Everybody hates me.
Why live when I can just leave forever.
I don't deserve to live.
'you don't deserve to live.'
The stream of warm water cersaded down the tub falcet.
I locked my bathroom door in case someone barges in.
Slowly staring at my reflection I slipped out of my purple shirt and dropped my sweats down to my feet along with my panties.
My hair looked lifeless blonde, dreary and dull, eyes not the same greens as they once were. Not bright and happy anymore.
Cheeks pink from the hours of crying.
I don't deserve a life.
I'm a murderer.
I'm a killer.
I killed my mother.
Opening the medicine cabinet behind my mirror I retrieve a pink razor.
The warm water felt soothing and nice against my fair skin. Taking a step in I slowly sunk down in the tub feet beneath the falcet while it's running.
I relaxed my head down on the end of the tub, my shoulders under water.
I don't deserve to live.
I'm a murderer. A killer. A bitch that killed her mother. Everybody hates me. I hate me.
I felt a sting of a prick against my wrist.
I looked down, my wrist started bleeding. A red thin cut sliced across my wrist.
Another sharp sting.
I felt my body slowly go cold. My skin felt numb and hazy.
I hear the splashing on the floor and over the tub as the tub over flows with a mass of water.
My eyes felt heavy.
The water turned deep red.
I closed my eyes letting the fading light consume me into a internal darkness.
My little flower'.
Did you enjoy my ongoing story so far? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Morgan EnglishWrite a Review