The Monsters We Hide

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Chapter 27

Logan's P.O.V.

I watched in horror as she fell to the ground. It felt like my heart quite literally stopped, or maybe it was just hers. I don't know what she did, but the lycans that were threatening us had disappeared and were nowhere in sight.

The invisible shield that had been keeping us in was no longer there and I quickly rushed over to her. I fell beside where she was slumped on the ground and pressed my hand to the bleeding in her stomach to stop it. Her eyes fluttered and she looked up at me with a weak smile.

My eyes were burning but I ignored it, fixed solely on the purpose of helping her. She grunted when I put more pressure on the wound, but I didn't care. If it saved her life then she would have to deal with a little more pain.

I began to panic as her blood seeped through my fingers. It wasn't slowing down. "Logan," she whispered weakly. I looked down at her beautiful blue eyes, savoring the feel of holding her.

"What is it baby?" My voice cracked and I knew what was coming. I couldn't stop the bleeding. This was it for her. She lifted her trembling, delicate fingers to my face.

"It's my time. I've known it was coming for a while now," she said with a small smile. I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling the tears fall. "Don't cry love," she said softly. That only made me cry harder.

"Logan," she whispered again. I opened my eyes and looked at her. "I love…"

She didn't get to finish her sentence. Her eyes glazed over and her body grew limp, her hand falling to my lap. I felt a sob rise up in my throat. It wasn't pretty either, but I didn't care. I pulled her up in my lap and cried, letting the tears fall on her face. She was gone. She'd been my mate for less than a month and I'd already lost her.

I felt a small hand clamp down on my shoulder and looked up to see Elizabeth. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She knelt down beside me. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and cried with me. I don't know how long we stayed there like that, but when I calmed down and looked around, Xavier and Luke were standing around us, somber expressions on their faces.

I pressed one last kiss to her soft lips and closed her eyes, knowing that it would be the last time I ever saw those deep ocean blues look back at me, filled with love and determination.

~~~~~~~~~~

They drove us home that night in their SUV. My eyes were red and swollen from the tears I had shed. Once we got home, almost everyone was shocked and crying to see Shyanne's lifeless body and hear the horrid story of how she died. Aaliyah didn't bat so much as an eye when we told it. She just got up and stayed locked up in her room. Henry was upset to have lost the daughter that wasn't even his biologically. Jeremy was even worse.

The pack had all mourned over the loss of Shyanne. After everyone dispersed, I went into my room. It felt empty and huge without Shyanne. I sat on the bed and remembered the last time she had been in here.

It was the day that we had performed the binding ceremony. She had looked absolutely beautiful in her dress that day with a sweet and ecstatic smile on her face. I swallowed yet another lump that seemed to be lodged in my throat ever since she left me. I sat up, not feeling quite comfortable.

I stood up and walked down the hall, pausing before I turned the knob on her door. I took a deep breath and opened it, stepping into the room. The first time I breathed in, it felt like being hit with a shit ton of bricks.

Her intoxicating scent was everywhere, though ut was a little stale. My eyes watered again and I went and laid on her bed. I cried again, letting the tears fall freely. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it past this. Even in a few short weeks, she was my everything. She pushed herself into my life and made herself at home without even trying.

Shyanne took a huge piece of me with her and I know it sounds corny but its true. I felt empty. Hollow. It felt like the walls were closing in on me every second that I breathed in, the empty air contributing to the expansion of the whole in my heart. I closed my eyes with my face buried in her pillow, inhaling her scent as I slept.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, we had a memorial service in honor of Shyanne. Xavier even came down to be there and so did Hunter. I stood up front at the burial, squeezing Elizabeths trembling hand. I kept my jaw locked, not willing to cry and look weak in front of my pack. Mackenzie stood beside me, tears streaking down my face.

As the priest was talking, she looked up and over at me. "Sometimes it's good to show weakness," she whispered after seeing my strained muscles.. She gave me a small smile and patted my forearm before turning her attention back to the man. I turned away too, catching Gage's eye.

He had been extremely quiet since we had come home with the news. He stayed locked up in his room, and I don't think he had ever come out. He looked tired, as though he hadn't gotten sleep in weeks. The bags and dark circles contributed to that fact, along with the sallow and sunken cheeks, like he hadn't eaten in a while. It didn't matter to me though. I no longer paid him much attention.

When the service was over, I looked back to see Mom off to the back, distancing herself from us. I skeptically walked towards her. I stopped and looked at my mother warily. "What are you doing here," I asked in a cold, and tired, voice.

Mom lifted her chin, as she often did. "I came to pay our respects to my daughter-in-law," she said. I lifted my eyebrows in surprise, but that wasn't the most shocking thing. What shocked me most was when she reached over and pulled me into a hug. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her shoulder.

I hadn't hugged my mother since I was ten years old. It was strange but in a comforting way. I thought about how much it had wounded her pride to come here and console me. My thoughts only caused me to release my tears. She held me, letting me cry against her and I felt like a kid again.

When I was done, she slowly pulled back. Her eyes were red rimmed but there were no tears in sight. She grabbed my hands in hers. "I'm sorry I've been acting this way towards you. I know it was wrong and I regret pushing you away everyday," she said. Today was just full of surprises. I had never heard my mother claim that she was wrong. Ever.

"We miss you. I miss you. I understand that you have your pack duties here, but try to visit sometime okay? I would love it if you did. I'm sorry I didn't get to know Shyanne either and upsets me to know that she's already gone when I could tell that she made you happy. Please forgive me."

I felt my face soften towards my mother, who was always so cold and collected. "Of course Mom," I said softly. She smiled and pulled me in for another quick hug. "Thank you. I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too Mom."

~~~~~~~~~~

I left Mom with Lukas after saying goodbye and walked inside the house. Mackenzie was in the kitchen, putting food away. She turned when I walked in and gave me a soft smile. Her short, black curls fell on her shoulders.

She shut the fridge and walked over to me. She was one of the kindest women I had ever met. It sickened me a little to know that even though I brutally killed her mate, she could still look at me with kindness and respect.

"It'll be okay, Alpha Logan. I know it's hard to lose someone you loved that much. It'll work itself out in the end, whether you want it to or not," she said in her soft melodic voice. She turned and began to walk towards the stair but I stopped her.

"Wait Mackenzie." She stopped and looked back at me. "I- I never said sorry. About Cody. I didn't want to do that to him. Or you. I just needed to prove myself, though that's no excuse for what I did. I really am sorry."

She searched my face with her light brown eyes and ggave me another warm smile. "It's okay. I forgave you a long time ago Alpha Logan. I'd like to think that he's happier now anyways, wherever he may be among the Moon Spirits."

I nodded once in acknowledgement and she continued up the stairs, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

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