I was introduced to him one evening in a bar.
Me and my friends were out on the prowl so to speak, when I locked eyes on him. I just knew. His eyes met mine and it was like electricity was sparking through the air, I swear to god. He smiled like he knew.
Then I realised he was walking over to me and felt like I was going to be sick from the nerves- until my best friend Belle asked me to meet her boyfriend-him. He smiled and slid his arm around her waist and I forced a smile from somewhere onto my face as I realised I was staring. He was literally my perfection physically-but by no means was he perfect either. He had one eye that appeared to be smaller than the other- only slightly- but I noticed it. He had blond hair, swept back into a quiff. He had lovely lips for a man too, and although I had only heard him say ‘Hey’ -it was enough. I was also introduced to his friends but I couldn’t tell you much about them. I was devastated.
I knocked back some drinks and tried to just ignore it. It must be lust yeah? I had had boyfriends in the past, slept with a few too, but never had I felt this instant, thing. I was incredibly jealous. My friend was much slimmer than me, a real barbie doll. Here I was, Wednesday Addams. If that was his type then it really was all in my mind. I partied with them all night and dammit did he have the personality to match. He was so funny, and when he laughed he just exuded in ways I hadn’t seen before. I flirted with other men to distract myself and tried to ignore them kissing each other deeply.
My best friend was a nightmare with men and before long she was back to sleeping with another guy whilst they were ‘on a break.’ That was the first time he called me. I was at home, watching tv when my landline rang. I answered and when he spoke and told me it was him, and that he really hoped I didn’t mind him calling me, I nearly fell off the bed. But of course, it was to get my advice on Belle.
We ended up speaking regularly, every night actually. Always about Belle. But then it started to be about books, films, and life in general. I made him laugh, and I cheered him up. I was seeing someone myself, and whenever things got tough he would advise me back. We would wonder why we always ended up getting the shit from these people, but then we always laughed it off. My crush dwindled- he was my best friends boyfriend after all. He became a really good friend.
He told me about his family and his brothers particularly. I hadn’t met either of them, but I was aware he had one older by a year or so, and one younger by 3 years. The older one was apparently a Casanova with women- most of the time I couldn’t get through to James was because his older brother was on the phone to the many women in his life. The younger one was a bad lad, stealing and getting into trouble. His parents were not happy- they had invested in their children to become footballers- (of course...!) and how dare he scupper their dreams by becoming a juvenile criminal? This caused James strife- he was close to his family and he hated them arguing. So we spoke about that most of the time. Belle was totally cool with it- she had known me her whole life, and I was me. She was the slimmer more attractive one- she had nothing to worry about with me. She was constantly getting attention from other men- something else we discussed. This was always difficult- James knew his place and that there was girl code- I could never betray her with her secrets, but I couldn’t see him hurt either.
So that leads me to this one particular night.
We were out in the town, a huge group of us, James and Belle excluded. Some guys I didn’t know were out, and one of them was incredibly attractive. I was single now, but he knew my ex, and proceeded to ask me how someone like me had ever been with someone like him? The attraction was immediate, and I was relieved I did feel something like I had for James with this older guy. My friend Leah warned me that he had slept with most of our friends- and that I would be another notch on his bedpost. He was gorgeous, all green eyes and floppy brown hair. He reminded me of Leonardo DiCaprio, and I was powerless to decline his advances. Well that’s a lie, I did for one night.
Then I saw him out again, and that night I didn’t say no.
He led me by the hand to a nearby disused building and we had frantic sex in the doorway. It was pretty good sex and the attraction between us was incredible. After he walked me back to my friends and we continued our night out, me trying to avoid his gaze which remained on me most of the evening. I left with my friends, without leaving him my number. By the time we got home it was 3am, and he called my friend.
His name was Adam, and he wanted my number.
My friend was reluctant to give it to him, considering he had slept with another of her friends the week before and he was clearly a head fuck. I didn’t care if that was all it was- it was fun. He rang me the next day. We were all in shock as he said he wanted to take me to the cinema that week, surely that wasn’t a fuck buddy? I accepted his invitation before resuming my nightly calls with James. I didn’t mention it, and if he knew of this guy, he didn’t mention it either. I was relieved, I didn’t really want to talk about my one night stand that was turning into something awkward.
I met Adam for the date and he was as beautiful as I remembered. I understood why he slept with so many girls- he was like he had been designed for us. He wore a leather jacket, a shirt and jeans. I can’t remember much about the film, we were making out for most of it like love struck teenagers. He walked me back to get the bus after and he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me. He called me when I got home, and we spoke for hours. The following week he gave me his home number and he asked me to call him when I was home from work. I was nervous, as I had not called him yet, he always called me from his mobile. I did a double take at the number-realising I knew it off by heart already. My head swam as I dialled it, hoping I was wrong, knowing I wasn’t.
The familiar voice of James came through the phone.
“Hey it’s me...” My voice sounded small and he greeted me warmly. I heard him sitting down as he asked how I was, the usual chat.
“Yeah, I am good, look this is crazy but erm, is Adam there?”
I had my hand over my eyes as I asked him, and heard silence on the other end as he absorbed my question.
His voice sounded suspicious, and I felt dreadful. I knew then that I had slept with his brother on the second night of meeting him, and that I was also now dating him. I also knew how he had told me so many tales of women his brother had screwed over and now I had to admit I was one of them.
“Can I speak to him please?”
The minute I said it I felt like I was going to be sick with humiliation. The hurt, and surprise in his voice said it all.
“You want to speak to Adam?”
There was silence.
“Wait here a minute, yeah?”
It was a command. The line had been well and truly crossed.
But how could he be annoyed? He was with my best friend! Yeah they had had their problems, but they had been on and off for years. I could never go there now anyway, I would lose my friendship for sure with Belle. I heard him open the door of the study as he called for his brother. I heard someone jogging down the stairs and someone grab the phone.
“Hey, you. Was wondering when I was gonna hear from you.”
His voice was delicious and I soon forgot about James. We got pretty serious, pretty quickly. I was staying over at his house, and we were going on holidays together. James and Belle split up properly and James began and sleeping with different women regularly. I felt sad, he would come in drunk at night, and me & Adam would be curled up on the sofa watching tv together. He wouldn’t talk to me like he used to- I was now his brothers girlfriend. I tried, but if ever I called and we spoke, Adam would not be happy about it and would tell me that I was his now, and that he didn’t want me being best friends with his little brother anymore. We started to argue and I found out Adam was now doing drugs along with cheating on me with countless women. I was heartbroken but stayed with him regardless. What do they say again? Love is blind? Hmm.
One time it was too much and we went on a break, this time having no communication. It was difficult as I missed him so much, but he was draining me and I was constantly feeling unhappy. He was heavily into the club drug scene and I wasn’t- this set us apart a fair bit. One night I got dressed up, wearing a black strapless dress with high heels, my hair long and curly with black eye make up on, making my green eyes stand out. I had such a good time with my friends, until we snuck into a club to find Adam and his crew at the bar.
My friend Belle was there and she demanded we leave- none of us wanted a scene, and with Adam and I that was usually pretty much a guarantee. We moved to a different part of the club and I found myself chatting to a gorgeous man who was making me laugh with his ridiculous dance moves. He suddenly kissed me and I almost didn’t know what to do- it had been years since I had kissed anyone since Adam. I kissed him back and he went to the bar to get us some drinks. I caught my friends over on the dance floor giving me the thumbs up and waving. I rolled my eyes but did feel pretty pleased for myself, he was stunning with a gorgeous body. I felt someone behind me and I heard the familiar voice in my ear.
“You look fit as fuck tonight. What were you doing with him?”
I froze, the possessive tone evident as I turned around to see Adam, eyes wide from the pills he was taking, drinking me in, his hands on my hips. I tried to wiggle away but it was such a strange feeling- like we just- belonged. He started kissing my neck and I groaned as I pushed him away.
“We are on a break...” I told him firmly, wriggling away. “Go and be with your friends.”
I looked around and saw them standing at the bar, rolling their eyes at us, predictable as we were. I couldn’t see the guy I was kissing earlier and I was grateful. Hopefully he had come back and done a u-turn upon seeing us- I would not want a scene. I pushed Adam towards his friends and went to look for mine desperately.
God he was so fucking annoying. Literally treats me like shit then when I am out and having a good time he demands me back. I was annoyed with myself more than anything. I was getting frustrated, pushing through the crowds looking for my friends who seem to had just disappeared. The dance floor was dark and sweaty, and I started to sober up as I made my way to the stairs to get a better view of the club. I stood, grateful for the space around me. I scanned the floor and finally located my girls, doing a dance competition for a bottle of champagne with the club owners. That would be Belle, fluffy boots and hot pants on the podium showing off her dance moves. Leah was giving her a run for her money, on all fours flicking her hair around to the music on the podium next to her. A group of guys were cheering them on and I decided I would leave them to it and remain in the dark for a while longer. I grabbed my phone and saw I had a text from Adam’s friend Brad asking me to come outside as Adam was making a scene.
I wanted to scream.
Why did I have to go out? I knew that if I didn’t though he would end up in a fight or worse, a police cell for the evening which was another regular thing for him. I sent a text to Belle telling her I was ok and I was going to help Adam. I didn’t have much battery either so I quickly made my way to the exit. It was freezing outside but it didn’t take long for me to locate Adam who was arguing with his brother James. Brad was standing by helplessly just staring at his phone as I walked up to him.
“What’s wrong with him now?” I hissed as Brad nodded over to him.
“He is being paranoid babe. No idea what’s wrong with him but I thought you would be able to calm him down, get him to go home with you.” He shrugged and returned to staring into his phone, smiling as he texted someone. “Hey where is Belle at tonight? I ’d love a night with her you know, shes fucking insane looking.”
I rolled my eyes and walked over to the Stone brothers, neither of them noticing as I walked up in between them.
I faced Adam first, pushing myself in front of him.
“Adam, stop being a dick. He is your brother. Walk away, now.” I said calmly. He looked at me but didn’t really see me.
“You are a fucking prick!” He roared at James who held his hands up.
“Bro, you need to stop taking so many fucking drugs you are mental I swear to god.”
I turned to James, and pushed him gently away, his eyes meeting mine.
“He’s fucked, I don’t know how the fuck you can stand him. You could do SO MUCH BETTER.”
He shouted this at Adam who laughed and walked away.
“Fuck you, what the fuck would you know? Come on Kate.” I stood shaking my head at him and told him I would find him in a minute as I walked over to James who was now sat on a wall, shaking in anger.
“Hey, you ok?” I crouched down in front of him, and we both turned as Adam punched his fist through a glass bus shelter.
“Oh my god!” I gasped. Suddenly he was having an argument with the bouncers from the club who had witnessed what he had done. I felt James put his finger on my chin and turn it to face him.
“He’s a dick, don’t worry about him.” I nodded and smiled, trying not to notice his finger had dropped to my chest, trailing down my arm.
“Are you ok?” he asked.
I nodded and stood.
“Yep, I better go and rescue him, I can’t face another weekend of him in a cell.”
He stood with me and gazed into my eyes.
“You really do look fit tonight.”
He said it so softly I almost didn’t hear him.
“Wow, thank you...” I felt myself blushing as his eyes met mine.
“If only you weren’t with my fucking stupid brother.”