He’s insane. This proved it. Why else would he be doing this?
His hand holding the glass of whiskey shook so bad he had to set it down. He wished he could blame it on withdraws but the shaking was from pure old fashion fear.
The fear that came from the thought of being sober. He was a fool for agreeing to this.
Walking in and seeing the bottle, Kels raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask. If he said he wouldn’t drink, then he wouldn’t. Damn fool thing to promise.
“Hungry? I grabbed burritos from the gas station.”
“For breakfast? I know why you’d be confused. Neither of us are usually up this early.”
“Never too early for burritos.” She sat on the motel bed and pointed at his nearby shirt.
She had a thing about spiders and though she loved to get him out of his clothes; she loved seeing him back into them too. The spider tattoo on his shoulder freaked her out.
Jay shrugged on his shirt.
What he wanted was a drink, but that wasn’t going to happen. He knew Kels. She wouldn’t be letting him out of his promise.
Where did that leave him? Screwed.
Why did he agree to this? Oh, he knew why. He was just wondering if he was brave enough to admit why.
“Stop frowning. You’ll feel like dying soon enough.”
She might be right. He hoped so, but he doubted it. Withdraws wouldn’t be the problem. He never got sick.
“How long since you’ve been completely sober?”
He was fourteen. At first it had taken very little. A bottle here and there. These days it took a lot more. “Why did I even tell you?”
“You can’t have a secret like that and not tell someone. Why me? Because I’m crazy enough to believe you.”
Crazy smart. She read tarot cards and tea leaves at the kitchenette where her and her mom lived because it was better than the way her mother earn money. Kels didn’t really believe in any of that crap but she knew what people wanted to hear.
She believed his unbelievable shit because she trusts him. The only person in the world who believed anything he said, and she believed the impossible.
His heart tried to bolt out of his chest.
“Tell me, Jay.” She growled.
Just a ghost of a thought. “Soon.”
“Stop freaking. You said something hasn’t been feeling right. You want to know how she’s doing too.”
There. She said what he wouldn’t say. He wanted to know. Needed to know.
“Drinking and hiding is the pansy way out. If you’re connect to this girl, there’s a reason.”
“You say hiding, I say a necessary evil. You don’t know how impossible and confining it can be to have someone in your head. How invasive it is.”
“You’re full of it. You’re hiding. Break out of those walls you’ve put up. Then you’ll find freedom.”
“Leave that shit for your costumers. As soon as I can, my walls are going back up.”