After a very long time, my heart says everything will be alright. For so long I was trying to fight my feelings, but now I have realized we both need each other.
I am not sure about love, but everything in me says that he means so much to me and no one can ever take his place in my life.
It will not be easy for me to trust him like I used to do earlier which is natural, but I am willing to try. The fear will always linger in my heart because once you are hurt, the fear of being hurt again always remains inside you.
But maybe it is time that I should truly move on and don’t let my fear stop me.
Maybe during this journey, I will learn to love again...learn to love him again.
“Mom, when are we going to meet dad?” Liam asks me, diverting my attention from changing my car’s tire to him.
“After I finish changing the tire.” I point at the spare tire.
“I can’t wait to meet him.” He pouts.
“Well, we would have already been with him, if you did not have punctured the tire with the screwdriver.” I arch my eyebrow at my innocent-looking boy, who is far from innocent.
Sometimes, I don’t understand how his mind works. I mean why in the world someone would damage their own car? Moreover, how can he puncture a tire with a screwdriver?
"I was trying to remove the pebbles from the tire..." he mumbles looking down, "I didn't know it will get punctured."
“Now, instead of standing there, help me with changing the tire.” I smile at him, hating his upset face. "Then later teach me how to puncture tire with a screwdriver, so that we can puncture your dad's car, okay?"
"Okay." He nods, grinning mischievously.
Alec, be ready to pay for thrashing my car years ago.
Alec wanted Liam to join kickboxing classes which they offer in Battleground and asked me to bring Liam to the classes so he can introduce him to the instructor.
Officially his classes will not start from today, however, they want to get an idea where he stands, and then according to that, they will start training him.
Alec would have picked Liam himself, but he had some meetings to attend that’s why he has asked me to bring him. Even if he would not have said I would have gone with Liam because I am not fine with leaving him alone.
Even earlier I used to attend all his classes because with the number of child abuse incidents I am never comfortable leaving him anywhere. I know I don’t have to worry about any such thing here, but I can’t help it because the mother’s heart can’t stop worrying about her child’s safety.
“Liam, don’t punch someone’s weenie, okay?” I tell Liam for the hundredth time, as I park the car nearest to the entrance.
Since it is afternoon, so only a few cars have been parked in the parking lot as normally this time only practice and classes are being held at the Battleground.
“Okay.” He nods his head, but I know he will forget this as soon as he will get annoyed with someone.
“Dad.” Liam points at Alec who is talking to someone when we walk towards the gym area.
Clasping Liam’s hand tightly in mine, I wait for my nerves to calm down as anxious feeling bubbles inside my chest as soon as I see him.
I have to talk to Alec, to let him know I am ready to give us a chance. I don’t know what the outcome will be, but in the future, I don’t want to look back and regret why I haven’t given us another chance.
I don’t want to live with this constant struggle between my mind and heart...and for that, I have to give our relationship the chance which it deserves.
Alec finishes talking with the other guy when his eyes land on us.
“Hey.” He smiles at me then turns to look at Liam, “Ready?”
“Yes.” Liam nods his head looking thrilled.
Of course, he is excited because he loves taking any physical activity classes. And here we are talking about kickboxing, which is his favorite sport.
“I will take him to the class, and get him ready, you go and wait in my office.” Alec takes Liam’s bag from my hand while holding Liam’s hand with his other hand.
“He will be okay in there?” Grabbing Liam’s shoulder I stop him from walking with him, “I don’t leave him alone, I always attend his classes.”
“Relax, he will be fine.” Alec nods his head reassuringly at me, “There are other kids, too, you don’t have to worry about anything. Later you can come and see him, but not now. Let him settle on his own.”
Licking my lip nervously, I nod my head as my eyes travel back to Liam who looks pretty confident not bothered slightly that I will be not with him.
“I will see you later, okay?” I give him a small smile.
“I will be okay, mom.” He hugs me. “And I will not punch anyone’s weenie.”
He smiles at me, as he holds Alec’s hand who is shaking his head at Liam with an amused smile.
“Alec.” I quickly grab Alec’s wrist again stopping him from walking away, “I need to talk to you."
“Now or later?” He raises his eyebrows.
“Later.” I breathe trying to calm the rapid beating of my heart because I don’t know how I am going to initiate this talk or what I am going to say.
“Okay.” He gives a curt nod as I watch both of them going inside the gym.
Even when they have gone inside the gym, I keep standing outside the door keeping my ear open to hear Liam’s voice. Liam doesn’t know I am here as he can’t see me, so in this way, I am allowing him to be on his own. But I can make sure he is fine by standing here, outside the door, right?
“What are you doing here?” I look at Alec when after roughly ten minutes he walks outside the gym without Liam, “You should be inside with him.”
“Avery, children feel conscious when their parents are around them, they might even feel embarrassed when they do any mistakes.” He places his hand on my shoulder, “So, it is better that we should not be with him when he is in his classes. However, if you want we can always see him as there is an observation room from where parents can watch their children if they want.”
“He will be fine.” He squeezes my shoulder reassuringly, “If it makes you feel any better Ron is inside, overlooking the class and also to make sure others are fine. Because people around Liam need to be careful not to mess with him. Our Liam is capable of taking care of himself and others, a little too well, all thanks to his mom.” He softly chuckles and makes a joke to lighten my mood which works as a smile blooms on my face.
After watching Liam from the other room, because even after all the convincing from Alec I needed to see for myself that he is okay, we walk towards his office and now I am feeling anxious for a different reason.
However, as soon as we reach his office we come face to face with a girl.
“Alec!” She smiles widely at him, but he just responds to her with a slight nod of his head.
His gaze flickers to mine, as I turn my attention back at the girl trying to figure out who she might be.
She is taller than me, and she has cat-like features. Her black hair falls just below her shoulders. I notice even she is studying me.
“Let’s get inside.” Alec places his hand on the small of my back which makes me stiffens and opens his office door.
Alec’s action doesn’t go missed by her, as she stares at me as annoyance crosses her features.
“Alec, why weren’t you answering my phone? I called you so many times.” She complains as soon as we enter the room. And if she was not quick enough, then Alec would have accidentally slammed the door at her face.
“I was busy,” Alec curtly replies, trying to hide his irritation. “If you don’t have anything important then you can leave.”
“Busy? Even for me?” She says softly as she walks towards him.
Alec can’t keep away the frustration off his face as his jaws tick with anger.
Suddenly, I don’t want to stay here.
I don’t doubt him, but I am certainly feeling uncomfortable which is doubling my nerves. I will talk to him later when I am in a calm state. Until then he can deal with her.
“I will just go and check on Liam.” I look at Alec and give him a tight-lipped smile, wanting to get out of this room.
“Avery, wait.” He stops me, “We can go together and check on him later, as the class will not get over before an hour."
“You want to talk to me, so we can talk,” he says completely ignoring the other girl whose name yet I have to find out.
“You are busy, so we can talk later.” I subtly point at her, who is already narrowing her eyes at me.
“I am never busy for you or Liam,” He instantly, replies.
If she was earlier throwing daggers at me, now she must have killed me thrice in her mind. As that's the only place where she can kill me.
“Alec, are you serious?” She throws her hands up in the air in annoyance, “This how you are going to behave with me? When some other girl walks into your life.”
“She is not some other girl, Kendra.” His tone drops dangerously, as he glares at the girl whose name finally I found out, “She is the mother of my son-”
“Your son?” She raises her eyebrows almost mockingly, cutting him off.
“Really?” She arches her eyebrow while her lips twist in an insulting smirk, “Are you forgetting that you are not man enough-”
Her words turn into wheeze as I grab her by her throat.
“Complete that sentence, I will finish you right this second.” My fingers close dangerously around her throat, wanting nothing but to crush her windpipe.
“I never knew, the quality of being a man is dependent on the part that lies between their legs.” I slowly nod my head, ignoring her pathetic cries as she grabs my wrists trying to release my hold, “Because even rapists can reproduce, but we don’t call them a man.”
“You know who is a real man?” I arch my eyebrow at her, “A man who can kill without any hesitation, but never raise a hand on innocent. Someone who puts himself in danger to protect others. Someone who chooses to bear every pain and hate, just to keep his love safe and sacrifices his happiness, so that people he loves can live... that is a real man. This is Alec for you... a real man."
"Even now if you have any question regarding his masculinity, according to your criteria of being a man, then don't hesitate to ask me." Tilting my head slightly to the side, a wicked grin turns the corners of my lips, as her face turns completely red, this may or may not have something do to with me choking her neck while barely allowing her to breath, "I will gladly tell you how much of a man he is. I will even show you the proof of his virility who is proudly walking on this Earth."
"Remember this face." I pull her face near to mine, pinning her down with a cold glare, dropping my earlier smirk off my face, "If next time you talk shit about him, then I am going to rip your tongue out and choke you with it. And I truly mean this."
Harshly pushing her away, I cross my arms while watching her as she coughs and wheezes holding her neck. Her horrified and stunned eyes meet my gaze, which is blazing with uncontrolled fury.
"Now, get the fuck out of here!" I nod my head towards the door still debating whether to snap her neck or give her the chance to walk away in one piece.
Sadly, she quickly scurries outside the room looking at me with terrified eyes.
As soon as she has left, I am yanked into a hard chest, as Alec's lips come crashing down on mine making my eyes widen in shock.