=I don't Know Who You Are Anymore=
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
“Your boyfriend came by earlier. He was looking for you.” Stacy, my best friend told me.
“Really?” I asked, a little surprised at that. “Did you tell him where I was?” I went to get the Spanish textbook that I left in class so I told Stacy to go without me.
“Of course not. I hate every bone in Matteo’s body. I swear if he was on fire and I had a glass of water I would drink it.” She sounded proud of her statement.
“Did you at least ask him why he was looking for me?”
She raised an eyebrow at me, “What do you think?” Stacy was a pastel beauty. Her skin looked so silky and smooth like milk. Her dark hair, green eyes, a straight nose, and slender lips, ignited butterflies in the bellies of men. It seemed everyone else paled in comparison to her.
I scoffed, “Stacy, can’t you two just get along?” I was practically begging, “It’s been a year since the incident and he did apologize on numerous occasions.”
It was April Fool’s Day, and Stacy decided to wear her newly bought black wedges to school. Unfortunately, she walked in on one of Matteo’s traps. It was originally planned for his teammate, Ajay, who had put itching powder in his underwear last year. She wanted to show off her shoes, so she arrived earlier than normal to school that day. Let’s just say, a bucket of paint mixed in smelly fish guts was dumped on her.
“I refuse to accept it.” Her voice rose a little higher and Mr. Watson shushed us. She nodded and whispered, “He cost me three hundred and fifty dollars for my Micheal Kors wedges. They still have the paint stains in them and the raw fish stench. I hate every bo-
“Every bone in his body. ” I sighed, “Okay, okay I get it.” I stifled my laugh, it was funny but I didn’t want to upset her.
The bell rang loudly in the school halls. “I’m going to head to the track to see him. I wanna know why he was waiting for me.”
Stacy had already packed her books, she didn’t write any notes. She didn’t understand anything even when she tried, so why give herself a headache? She came with her books packed neatly in her bag and she kept it that way throughout the class.
She nodded, “I gotta go then. Kurt wants to go out with his friends tonight so he’s in a hurry today. Bye.” Kurt was her brother, who was attending a nearby college. He was our ride but today I’d have to walk home.
“Okay, bye.” I waved and she was off. I packed my books and I headed to the track. My last class was in Physics. I had nothing against the subject but Mr. Watson couldn’t teach.
I’ve tried to understand what he taught in class but his words flew from his mouth like an elephant tripping over its feet. I couldn’t even understand most of what he said on a normal basis.
I sat on the bleachers, close to the track. I was told Matteo was waiting on me after school but when I got there, he already left. Matteo has been a great boyfriend but the past few days, he was different. I asked him many times and tried to understand why our relationship was so awkward and void.
He told me it was nothing and that he’d always love me. Matteo never came by my class to wait for me before. He would always blatantly refuse to come by my class. This is why my stomach churned, my heart sped up, my palms became sweaty and my throat was dry. Maybe he was breaking up with me. I feared I wasn’t good enough many times and I might have been right.
He reassured me a little, but I still doubted him. However, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I loved him and that’s what mattered. I had always come to the track to watch him run before I went home. Often, I wondered how did I become so lucky to have him. He walked out of the boys’ changing room and approached me on the bleachers.
“Hey, babe.” He smiled as he came to sit beside me, exhaling heavily. His smile wasn’t a toothy grin, nor did his eyes crinkle at the sides or sparkle with love and joy that I normally received. The air between us was tense. Although, I could never understand why I shook it off.
“Hey,” I replied shoving all the nerves away and trying to ignore them as they clawed at my stomach, “I heard you came by my class today.”
He looked at me as if he was confused, “Who told you that?”
“Stacy.” She must have seen him or else she wouldn’t have said anything. It was the first he came by class so if she didn’t see him, why wouldn’t she lie and tell me about it when she hated him.
“Well, I didn’t.” He answered, and smiled at his friends who called to him. I saw something in his hair and started to pick something like feathers from his hair. He remained silent.
“Okay.” I was going to let it rest. He wouldn’t lie to me. I was about to make conversation but he spotted one of his female teammates.
“Listen, I gotta go train. Later.” I nodded and was about to hug him but he walked away with his friend. I waited until he stretched and warmed up before his real training began. Then I left.
I was feeling rejected by him. I walked home that evening. I was one of the only kids that didn’t live in town. I had to walk for fifteen minutes by a shortcut to get home. Matteo stayed in the school dorms during the week, but he was going home for the weekend. It was a lengthy drive to and from my home so I knew he couldn’t take me home. When I got home, I was tired. As soon as I stepped in, Eden came barreling down the stairs screaming my name.