I immediately froze. Shane rushed towards her and grabbed the hauntingly empty bottle from her hand. Then he yelled out orders, but I wasn't paying attention. My focus was on her. She swayed for a second and then her eyes abruptly rolled to the back of her head and she hit the hard, tiled ground. I was instantly brought back to reality.
I rushed over to kneel beside Shane as I heard Mom on the phone, giving someone, most likely the police, our address. I felt my heart clench with worry. What the hell was wrong with her? Why would she even do this? Jasmine didn't seem like the depressed suicidal type to me.
"Jasmine? Jasmine, wake up baby, please. You need to wake up Bambi," Shane pleaded. Then he pressed his ear to her chest. His eyes grew wide, which didn't help my panic.
"She's not breathing," he announced. My heart seemed to stop. I was stranded in time, in that one moment, feeling everything crash over me like a wave. Shane started pumping her chest and that's when my mother rushed over. Tears filled her eyes and I could hear her labored breathing as well as my own. Shane pinched her nose and tilted her head back to breathe in her mouth, attempting CPR.
I felt helpless and broken. I was standing there, staring in shock. I looked back at Jasmine's face, and suddenly, something clicked into place.
"Get her up and get her in the car. Now," I ordered. I rushed downstairs and went out to my mom's car, the keys in hand that I had grabbed from the coffee table. I unlocked the doors and started the engine. Shane rushed out of the door with Isabel following and Jazz was in his arms. He got into the back seat with her and everyone closed their doors.
I pulled out and started driving towards the hospital. Shane spoke in a rush, his words directed to no one in particular. "She's breathing at the moment but it's weak. You need to hurry," he said, stating the obvious. I pressed on the gas a little more and we went flying down the road. Mom was on the phone again, tears streaming down her face, and I knew that she was talking to Brian.
We met the ambulance on the way and we quickly transferred her over to the paramedics. Isabel rode with Jasmine while Shane sat in the passenger seat while I followed the ambulance the best I could, though we lost them quickly, since then sirens got them through traffic a lot easier. Shane's leg was bouncing vigorously, never once pausing. The tense silence between the two of us went unbroken.
My mind wandered. What if this was Jasmine's last day? What if she didn't make it? I desperately longed for those thoughts to be false, and I thought of my mistakes. I regretted what I had done, every time I saw her. I couldn't believe I had tried to… It angered me to even think about it. I completely disgusted myself. I wish I could trade places with Jasmine. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of it.
I tried to distract myself with driving, but it didn't work as well as I wanted. I felt somehow responsible for this.
I knew it was stupid of me, but what if what I did to her… changed her? I shook my head clear of the thoughts. It was irrational thinking. This couldn't have happened because of me. I hadn't done anything wrong lately and if it was because of that, then why would she wait until now to act on it?
Finally, I pulled into the parking lot, getting as close to the door as possible and then we both got out to go inside. Isabel was there, waiting for us. We walked over and sat near her in the waiting room. She still had tears running down her face and it pained me to see my mother like that. I reached over and pulled her to me, hugging her.
"Mom, it's okay," I whispered. She said nothing, only sobbing harder. Shane sat across from us, his leg still bouncing and his head was down as he waited anxiously.
I was disheartened. This shouldn't have happened. Not to her. Jasmine was too good for this, so why did she do it in the first place? I had no answer for that. It didn't matter now anyways. It's done and we're here now. The "why" wouldn't change anything.
I thought about her now. It was all I could do. She was so beautiful, and kind, and smart, and way too forgiving. I closed my eyes. I had never regretted anything more in my life and I wished more than anything that I could change what I did. I was so fucking stupid! I shouldn't have gone to that party and gotten drunk. Maybe things would have been different between us, but did I really want that?
If I hadn't done that, then I wouldn't have apologized, and if I hadn't apologized, then maybe wouldn't be close like we were now. I mentally slapped myself.
I shouldn't even be thinking like that. Of course I shouldn't have done that, no matter what the outcome was. It was the stupidest decision of my life and I was glad that Shane stepped in when he did. I kind of wished Mom had left me to rot in that jail cell. I deserved to be there, but what I didn't deserve was Jasmine's forgiveness. Now, she could be gone forever, and I had no idea how I would handle that.
I had come to like Jasmine, I had even started falling for her, but once I found out that our parents were together, that shot down all of the logical possibilities that we could be together. That didn't make me want her any less. I shouldn't though. I didn't deserve her. She would never feel the same, and I was just chasing after a false hope that wasn't even there.
I dragged my thoughts away from all of that, focusing on comforting Mom. Shane suddenly stood up and walked out, leaving just Mom and I to wait for the news.
About fifteen minutes later, Brian barged into the waiting room. Mom stood up and he rushed to her. He gathered her in his arms, not yet asking any questions. Then, the doctor walked out.
"Johnson?" I stood up with them and the woman walked towards us. Her name tag said Dr. Teresa Williams. She gave us all a faint smile as we surrounded her. "It appears that Jasmine's prescription antidepressants were what she overdosed on. We also found her schizophrenia medicine in her system as well, but it was only two capsules, as prescribed. I'll need to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind." We all nodded, but my thoughts kind of drifted. Schizophrenia? Antidepressants? There was a lot I didn't know about Jasmine.
"Have you noticed any mood swings with her lately," Dr. Williams asked. Brian was the one to answer.
"No. She's seemed completely fine." The woman wrote this down on the clipboard she carried, absorbing the information, just like I was.
"Has she been taking her medicine regularly?"
This time, Brian hesitated. "I… I'm not completely sure. I work all day, and even when I'm home, she takes her medicine in her own room, so I'm never there," he confessed.
"Has she been acting paranoid or unusual?"
"No. Not to my knowledge."
The inquiry continued until finally, she lowered her clipboard. "Mr. Johnson, we're doing the best we can, but Jasmine isn't doing well, and her body isn't responding well to the new medication. We're going to keep her as long as we need to to monitor her and try to get her back into shape. The best thing for you would be to take your family home and get some rest. If anything else happens, then we'll call you."
Brian shook his head. "Can we see her at least?"
"I'm sorry but not at the moment, no. She hasn't woken up yet and she needs rest, so we wouldn't want to wake her anyhow. Like I said, we'll contact you if anything happens," Dr. Williams assured. He nodded and we sat back down. I couldn't help but think about everything that the doctor had said.
Apparently, Jasmine was schizophrenic, and depressed. Why hadn't she told me? Was she afraid that I would judge her, or not understand? Was she embarrassed about it? Or did she just not trust me enough to tell me? In any case, Mom seemed unsurprised by the news, which meant she knew, but hid it.
Not being able to hold my questions back anymore, I spoke them aloud. "She's schizophrenic?" Brian stiffened, but didn't look at me as he nodded his head. I studied Brian's face for a few more minutes. My mind was filled with questions that I wanted to ask, but I kept my thoughts to myself because I felt like now was a bad time to play twenty questions.
Mom and Brian were having a quiet discussion when Shane walked back in. He looked around for a second and then walked back towards us. He seated himself beside me and I could see that his eyes were red and puffy. Had he been… crying? I had never seen Shane cry before. Not even when his parents died, not when he got arrested, not even when he broke a bone. Now, here he was.
I didn't say anything about it. I knew that Shane had a short temper and if I called him out, he could very well punch me in the face again. I could tell that after the night of the party, Shane distanced himself from me. We used to be best friends, practically brothers, who always told each other everything and helped each other out. Now, we were nothing like that anymore. What I did to Jasmine had shifted everything. I only had myself to blame.
"Has the doctor come out yet," he asked quietly. He didn't look at me, not once. I nodded.
"Yeah. They said that Jazz isn't doing well. It messed with her stomach and some other… medication she took didn't help at all. They're keeping her for a while so that they can monitor her, but she's still asleep right now."
I didn't tell him what I had found out. It wasn't my business and I had caused enough trouble already. I wasn't even sure if he knew about it or not.
He sighed and leaned back in the seat, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back. He was completely still and I wondered what was going through his mind at that moment. He seemed tired and lost in thought. It was obvious to see that Shane cared about Jasmine. Maybe he even loved her, but I couldn't ignore thinking that he felt guilty about something. I just had no idea what it was.