I walked into the barn heading to the tack room to check on Sienna who was cleaning bits.
“Hey sweetie you okay?” Sienna looked up with a smile.
“Good, is Tatt here yet?”
I shook my head, “sorry baby looks like he’s late. I am going to massage Godfrey if you need me.”
Hooking Godfrey up to the cross ties I put oils on my hands and began to slowly relax him. My thoughts drifted to what I have been thinking about all week. Dinner with Tatt. He acts with Sienna so effortless, making her happy. The smile she had on her face when she taught him sign hasn’t left her face since this morning when Tatt hadn’t shown. Him being there for dinner felt… right. Even with my ex Josh it never felt like that. Tatt, this biker just strolled in fitting with us somehow and I am finding myself wanting him to stay, wanting to know more.
The past is dead but I still fight to trust.
When he had come in I didn’t know how to react… mostly because I may have been fantasying about him take me on my kitchen counter before he walked in. It’s impossible not to when I see him working on the barn in the hot days with no shirt on and that rippling body of his. The muscles and tattoos. Even the big Riders of Silence tattoo on his back is something I want to feel. He drives me crazy.
This will be the second week. The last week with a few weekends depending on his parole. How will I just let him go, for the barn and for Sienna.
“You look hungover as hell.” I said to Tatt who strolled in.
He sighed, rubbing the back of his head, “Fuck sorry Raven. Up late making up tattooing appointments then club stuff and church early this morning, Not hungover Rave just run over.”
I looked him over as he walked over with a pitchfork walking into the stall near me, “Tatt, come over here.”
Tatt looked at me confused but put the pitch fork down walking over to me, I pointed to a tack box next to me for him to sit down. Looking at him he looked exhausted; running a business and doing whatever he does in the club plus this seems to be wearing down on him. I knew why I had called him over and I was trying to tell myself to walk away, tell him to get back to work. That’s his job, to work not for me to get close to. Just because I have gotten better around strangers with the paroles I hire doesn’t mean I should be close with them staying for dinner, signing with my daughter and asking so many personal questions.
“Close your eyes.” I said softly making him look questionably with those eyes of his, the dark circles under his eyes pronounced, “do it before I change my mind and push the list of chores on you.”
He winked before closing his eyes with a sigh, “this where you kill me?”
I bent down, picking up lavender oil putting it on my fingers before stepping close to him, “if I wanted to kill you we would be in the backfield where I can hide your body easily and the pigs can get to you.”
He chuckled, “good to know that’s the place to avoid.”
I took another step forward pressing against Tattoos knees trying to tell myself to take a step back and go back to work but I couldn’t. It was like a siren call to this man. He brought back something in my life that lacks with the joke of his.
The second my figures touched Tatt’s temples his eyes flashed open making me focus on his hair so I wouldn’t get lost in them, “eyes closed. Don’t need you thinking this is going to turn into something.”
Tatt’s eyes closed as he leaned into my touch, “and what would that be darlin’? You’re the one massaging my temples. Fuck.” He groaned the last bit making a small smile fight onto my face, the warmth returning to my chest.
“A tired worker at a barn… bound for something to go wrong.” I muttered softly. Liar. “You shouldn’t be working yourself like this if you can’t stand straight. Horses kick.”
My fingers moved up and down his temple, the soothing oil seeping into his skin.
Tatt sighed, “I tattooed till twelve thirty last night and was out checking things for the club till 2, then had some… thing to do before bed and then here I am.”
I couldn’t help but scoff, “you can say sex Tatt. Next time you get to bed late, just let me know and you can take the morning off.” I didn’t want to say the word sex to Tatt, it was obvious what he meant, sex with those groupies at the club.It wasn’t my business what this biker did but the fact he was with someone like that hurt something, the same thing he warmed.
I felt his hands lift up onto my waist making me jump back with wide eyes, Tatt bit onto his lips bringing his hands down while keeping his eyes closed. I knew he wasn’t like Josh but just because I was used to his presence and instigated touching with Tatt doesn’t mean I was ready to be touched.
“Sorry. Won’t touch you,” he opened one of his eyes with a sly smile, “unless you ask.” With that he closed his eyes again. “And no, I didn’t fuck one of them, something stopped me.”
Something stopped me.I scoffed lightly taking a deep breath, he’s not Josh, and took a step forward again pressing my fingers to the edge of his jaw, working up, “you have been getting easy pussy for way to long biker boy. As I said not happening. Is everything okay with the club?”
He leaned into my touch with a soft groan making me glad to be making him feel a little better, he’s a worker, happy worker happy barn….
Tatt blew a soft breath against me, with how tall he is even sitting down his head is just at my breast level. Nope don’t look down. “Our club has a strict no hard drug in the city and club. Some women affiliated with the club have been OD’ing and we are trying to find out the supplier and why the fuck groupies are taking hard shit without us knowing.”
“Did you know them?” Tatt lightly shook his head as my fingers moved to the edges of the top of his forehead making me looking at his blond hair. My hands moved into his hair letting me feel how soft it is while disappearing through my fingers.
“Not personally…” Club groupies right, just women he fucks … “But we haven’t been able to find dealers. Not even Smoke has heard anything and that brother can get into any group of low lives for intel.”
“Smoke? Brother who brought you into the club and was at your parlour? He looks... Intense.” I said thinking back to the very tall man with his dark hair over his face and Italian skin.
Tatt chuckled softly opening his eyes making me looks down as my finger returned to his temple. “Smoke’s the nomad enforcer so he is out on the road looking for enemies and stopping them before they reach the club kind have to be intense. Probably would have been enforcer here at the club if things went differently…”
I stopped moving my hands as a dark shadow went over Tatt’s head, “why would someone go nomad? You talk about the club being a family and you are so close why would you want to leave that…” Tatt eyes flashed up to me stopping my words.
It was a couple moments before he spoke, “our club has a code. We protect the city and those that live in. We don’t allow hard drugs, high illegal activity and we look into domestic like domestic as-” I went to take a step back to stop memories which only caused Tatt to lightly take one of my hands. It wasn’t a tight grip, a soft one where if I moved my hand I could take it out but I wanted his touch. The kind of touch that keeps dark memories from burning in my mind to come out. His touch kept them away, making me safe. “We do things to stop them Raven. I can joke but I protectthose that matter to me or someone who has no connection to me. And myself and brothers will go to anylength for that.”
“So, Smoke left because of something he did to protect someone cares about?” I asked desperate to stop the thought that if I ever needed help Tatt would be there. He would protect Sienna. He would protect me.
Tatt’s thumb drew slow circles on my wrist as he stared at me, “I don’t want to talk about Smoke. I want to talk about you Raven.” he pulled me lightly to him as he opened his legs letting me in as his other hand slowly went up my legs resting on my waist as I stared into his eyes that were full of contradictions. “It’s a dark world and you know that Raven. I would bring you back to seeing that darkness. You’re an incredible mother with an equal incredible kid. I can’t risk that but I will always be there if you need me.”
I took a sharp intake of breath, he and I have mentioned the need for transparency. To know someone and what they want. We both fear being close to another person. Me with my past of Josh who used to beat me for years. And Tatt whose parents left him while giving him no true love.
His fingers cupped my chin lightly and as he pulled me closer to him between his legs, I found myself unable to stop bending down as Tatt took my lips in his and kissed me. And he nailed my mouth, his soft lips slowly started against mine but the second I opened up for him and his tongue came in I was a goner. It was heated, my hands going into his hair wanting every bit of him before we pulled back gasping for air. I stated into those eyes of his with a small gasp. I shouldn’t have done it but I would never take away that kiss.
“You touched me.”
He gave me a sly smile, “Darlin’ you pulled me in first, you asked me.”
I pursed my lips unable to tell if that was the truth, “I can see the smartass remarks swirling in your eyes.” I muttered making him throw his head back laughing.
“You were late.” I looked over to see my little girl with her arms crossed looking at Tatt making me step back immediately missing the heat of his body and touch from him.
He winked at me getting up kneeling down in front of her, “sorry little darlin’ my club needed me.”
Sienna wrinkled her nose, “but mommy needed you here at the barn. I didn’t think you were going to come…”
Tatt pulled one her braids lightly, “I’ll always come for you little darlin’. May have a way of making it up though, my brother’s woman is opening a bakery Monday and is having a family dinner party tomorrow night. You are your mom should come, free food to make up for my lateness?”
Sienna looked over, “can we go mommy! Pleaseeeeee.” I went to object but she popped her lip out pouting.