“Here you go.” Serenity said sitting inside the bakery passing me a glass a wine, “enjoy it for me you bitch.”
I laughed, “hey I had my turn now it’s yours.”
God this wine is what I need, trusting Tatt with Senna was extremely difficult but she wanted to go and I can’t a frown on her face.
I don’t know anyone here but something had shifted in Tatt and I since yesterday. We haven’t had a chance to talk due to work at the club but maybe tonight I wouldn’t mind talking with him. Maybe I shouldn’t get close to him but I promised no more fear so I can’t keep my heart guarded from him. I didn’t want to bring up the past but he wouldn’t judge me for that night, those years and what was done. The only thing he could judge was how it went down. What I let happen.
My heart dropped at that thought. That he would know my greatest shame.
Three other ladies flopped down on the couch in front of us. The one with black tight curls grabbed a glass of wine in front of her shaking her head, “I’m not cleaning any of those boys up tonight, just got off a double.”
Serenity laughed, “well they are supposed to be doing light boxing hopefully that means they are… shove them a tampon that’ll work. Anyway, this is Raven, Raven this is Doc, Clary or Princess by the brothers and Amara she’s the bakery owner.”
The one name Clary looked at me guilty. “So, you’re Raven Monroe? You and Tatt together?” How did she know my last name?
Her last question caused Doc to cough out her wine looking at me with wide eyes, “you’re with Tatt?”
I shook my head quickly shutting down this train of thought before I got caught in the idea. “No not like that! He works at my barn and was late so to make it up to my daughter he invited her to a party. And well my girl has freckles, cute eyes and braided hair who stood up to bully… I had no other choice but to say yes.” I took a sip before turning to Serenity, “get ready for that. They use the cute factor. All. The. Time…”
She sighed, “I already know. Hey random question, I don’t want to sound creepy but can I babysit Sienna one night? Just to get used to a kid, around Hunter too? He is going crazy baby proofing and reading about pregnancy. As you saw when I made Tatt drag him off.”
We all laughed at her husband’s extra protectiveness, “you mean I get to have a night off by myself? God that hasn’t happened in ten years. I may have to get to know you first a bit more, little over protective with Sienna, but after I wouldn’t see why not.”
Serenity waved her hand, “completely understood I have nine months to be your new best friend.”
I chuckled taking a sip looking around before looking back at Amara, “the place is gorgeous, congratulations you can count on my money coming in.”
She smiled softly, “thanks it’s a dream come true. Tell me about yourself. I haven’t known Tatt to remember a woman’s name let alone invite her to a party even with nothing going on…”
How many people will ask that tonight? Sure, I have masturbated thinking of Tatt’s body, eyes and voice but I can’t risk Sienna. I won’t risk Sienna. But what if I could? These girls seem to like him maybe it wouldn’t be a risk telling him and seeing where that goes. Is this going to my conscious all night? To trust Tatt with the truth or not?
“Nothing is going on. Think Sienna has him wrapped around her finger so that’s why we are here. Nothing is between us, I’m just helping him keep out of jail, maybe being friends during that time.” I said back taking a sip of wine, that guilty look flashing on Clary’s face before apologizing and getting up to walk away.
Doc looked after Clary before turning to me, “don’t mind her she’s under a lot of pressure at the moment. What about Sienna’s father?”
I felt my whole body tense up at his reference, images flashing in my mind. “He’s gone. Excuse me I should check on my daughter.”
I hopped off the couch in search for Sienna, looking for Tatt’s tall frame praying she was still with him. What had I been thinking? Going to this party with Tatt just because my daughter wants to? She could see a gun, that could send memories back that no child should remember. Anxiety filled my body as possible ideas of Josh and Tatt being similar filled my head.
“Mommy!” I heard Sienna shout by the boxing area where they were, my eyes widening seeing that she was in the ring herself. Sienna jumped out running my way, jumping into my arms as I held her up.
“Why were you in the ring?” I asked panicked while looking for any damages on her as she just smiled perfectly happy.
“I fought one of the guys, I kicked his but like Black Widow. Now I am going to go against Pepper.” She said making me snap to her eyes with wide eyes.
SHE FOUGHT ONE OF THEM!
“She was completely safe.” I jumped looking at Tatt who appeared beside me as a rage burned in me. I had stupidly trusted him and he let my daughter in a ring with a biker. “Okay you have a scary glint in your eye but I swear Deadpan nor Pepper would have harmed a hair on her head.”
I took a deep breath letting Sienna down as I raised a brow, looking down at her I signed for her to go to the car. She looked like she was going to argue but I quickly signed for her not to argue before should could respond I looked to Tatt as calmly as I could.
“You let my daughter in a fighting ring with your brother. Your big, muscular biker brother. She is ten.” I said as calmly as I could to not make a scene but I was aware of the underlying anger in me. Flashes of her father were spinning in my head. I have done everything to keep her away from a fist unless it’s at boxing class which isn’t real boxing. Now she is there with a biker who can knock her flat, hurting her and make her remember her father.
Tatt took a step closer to me allowing me to smell his smell of ink and fresh linen. He was so close I crossed my arms to keep myself from touching him, the thing I have thought of since our kiss. But now I needed answers to why he let her in danger and I need to check on Sienna. “I am not like your late husband Josh I would never let anything harm you or Sienna. I would never harm you.” As soon as the words were out he paused as my eyes widened.
As quick as I could I took a step back, “how do you know his name? I never spoke of that man and neither would Sienna. Did you look me up?” All of a sudden Clay’s guiltiness and knowing my full name hit me. “You did a background check on me.”
He took a step and I immediately took a step back, something flashed in his eyes something like hurt but why would it? I am keeping him out of jail and obviously I have just been a case to him seeing as he looked me up with a background check. “I had to make sure you and Sienna were safe so I checked. It was of good intentions besides you know my record.”
I gaped at him, my hands locked to keep myself from slapping him, “I only know that you are serving time at my barn for assault not your life story. You ran a background check, finding the darkest parts of my past making assumptions so you can what? Make yourself feel better for making us a case and take pity on me and my daughter.”
He took a step closer to me, “I never pitied you Raven, fuck the way you protect your daughter is admirable. I don’t know what it was like with your late husband but I can see how you protect your girl despite all the hospital visits and pain, you always protect her. Particularly after his suicide. And I just wanted to make sure someone was protecting you... it’s what my club stands for.”
I shook my head trying to make sure I didn’t yell out to make a scene giving out a scoff, “You don’t know a damn thing about what was really in those files. Hell, we talked about how we both needed transparency and you lied to me already knowing my life story. God that same day when you said I should be proud, that was out of pity wasn’t it. I need to know who people are because I know people can be one thing then another. Guess you proved that; going behind my back to find answers I would have told you tonight or tomorrow.”
Tatt took another step forward grabbing my jean belt loops pulling me close, “your right I shouldn’t have done it but I had to make sure you were safe. Do you know how many fucked up things I have seen happen to people? I had to make sure that wasn’t going to happen to you again.”
I pushed off of him taking another step back, “well it already did didn’t it. Tell Amara thank you for hosting I have to get Sienna back she has school tomorrow.”
“Don’t” I choked out, “I began to trust you. I would have told you when I felt safe but you went behind my back after I told you to leave it alone. You shattered any trust.”
With that I turned on my heel, I didn’t want to make a scene with Amara’s opening party and if I stayed one more second with Tatt trying to explain him violating my privacy I would slap him and scream. So, I ran, speed walking into my car ignoring Tatt trying to get me to come back but I can’t. I was going to trust him and right when I decided to it felt like my past got slammed into my face.
Maybe it seems like I am overreaching but when your victimhood runs you for so long, it’s the last thing you want people to bring up when your free from it. I wanted to make myself here. With Tatt I wanted to take my pace, to make Tatt see me but instead he saw my past, my victim life. A life of weakness where people just give me pity or blame.
I got to my truck, Sienna waiting by the door looking hesitant, before she could ask to stay I stopped her, “in now, you have to go to bed for school.”
I went around to my side hopping into the driver’s seat as Sienna got in silently. “Did Tatt do something?” She asked as I started to pull away from the lot.
Yeah, he did, he betrayed my trust. I sighed passing her my phone for the radio not saying anything for there was nothing to say. Not anymore.
“Let’s just home.” I whispered. One saving grace is that I cut it off before it started. It hurts enough as is.