I slid out of my truck arriving back at Amara’s bakery “Dropping Pies’ to meet up with Serenity to help her relax and answer questions about pregnancy. It was Friday so Jose was able to watch the barn while I was gone and Sienna was at school. It is weird being here considering the last time I was it didn’t end well.
Tomorrow is Saturday which means Tatt will be back at work, the first time I’ll see him since the fight. He was there Monday but I made sure to be out to avoid seeing him at all cost. I’m not going to revoke his work that would send him to serve his punishment in jail since I do need the help and am not going to send him to jail when he can be here. But the thought that he will be at the barn is tearing me up. It’s not anger I feel, its betrayal. I have fought and worked hard to leave my past in Boston and he brought it up without my permission. He had someone do a background searchand I could already see the theories behind those eyes of his. I told him time and time again to leave my past alone and he searched it.
But I still craved him.
Him making me feel again…
“Raven!” My head turned as I walked into the bakery, the place flushed for the lunch rush where I see Serenity with a pile of books at a high-top.
Smiling I walked over, “damn girl how many pregnancy books you buy?”
She laughed as I took a seat looking over the ten books, “Oh I bought one... Hunter bought the other nine…”
I whistled, “well I guess that means he is excited.”
Her face just deadpanned, “he is going so alpha male I may end up kicking him out of the house for the next nine months. He wants to be an alpha wolf I’ll give him a dog house.”
Laughing, I shook my head, “he cares. Bring him to the appointments and he should calm down… maybe no idea since I only met him once.”
“Here you two are, nice to see you again Raven.” Amara placed a tea kettle between us with two cups and a tray of pastries.
I helped clear the table of pregnancy books smiling at Amara, “You as well, the place looks like a hit congrats!”
She blushed with a proud smile, “here’s hoping, gotta run but nice seeing you.” As fast as she was here Amara was gone.
Sienna let out a soft chuckle pointing at the pile of books, “she just stole one of the pregnancy books. Ha totally knew she was pregnant, now I get to win that bet with Hunter. I was going to keep quiet about mine too but Tatt had to open his fat mouth.” I chuckled at the happy woman and made a glance over to Amara who was running around the bakery, my eyes spotting Ryker in the corner watching her every move. “Ryker watching her like a hawk and talking about her anxiety more was the big suggestion but now with her thievery she only proved it.”
Turning back to Serenity I smiled, keeping down the bitterness of jealousy that they have such love and support with their men. It wasn’t fair to think that I wish I could have had that. I have Sienna and we are safe that’s all that matters, not comparing life stories with other women.
“So,” I looked around the table clapping my hands and waving them around the books, “what can I say to try to simplify this for you? Books sound great but they also strangle you with things you don’t have to even consider.”
Conversation flowed between Serenity and I as we went through the pregnancy books and I told her my experience with pregnancy, childbirth and newborn baby. Though I have a feeling she will have a better birth and raising a child experience than I.
“Soooooo, since we are done talking about my uterus, what happened between you and Tatt the other night?” Serenity asked looking over her tea cup.
I choked on the shortbread I had taken a bite of quickly taking a sip of tea, “What?”
She smirked with amusement making me nervously shuffle in my seat, “You got out of there pretty quick Sunday night, I didn’t hear what you two were saying but that he said something sending you running. I asked Hunter but he laughed saying he was glad he didn’t make Tatt’s mistake?”
Sighing I figured it may help to have someone to speak to about my crazy life. “Well after I left you I went to look for Sienna and found her in the makeshift boxing ring about to go against a biker which freaked me out even though Tatt said they would never hurt her. But the thought still terrifies me due to our past and those bikers are huge, giants of muscle. Then when we were talking he let it slip that he did an in-depth background check on me despite me telling him not to ask about our past. I have told him so many times to let it go yet he didn’t, lied to my face after he did it.”
She gaped at me placing her cup down, “he did a background check on you? Yeah, I can understand how you would be angry about that, oh I’ll kick his ass. But he was right when Sienna was in the boxing ring, they would never hurt her.”
“I know it’s just.” I took a deep sigh looking at her needing to get this off my chest, “My late... Husband was not a nice guy. He was physically abusive, he only hit her once on the last night of his life and for those years I took beatings. Kept Sienna away from ever seeing that. Yes, I take her to boxing, she loves it, but seeing her up there where bikers just brought back horrible feelings and images.”
Serenity leaned back, her face softening, “wow I am so sorry, for how long?”
“Six years. He had a lot of money and friends who were judges so when I ran he would find me within a few days and if I filed for divorce he would get her with his connections. I couldn’t take that risk. He hated that she wasn’t perfect with her hearing so...” I wiped under my eyes sitting up straight, waiting for any form of judgment.
She smiled softly, “hey I would never judge you for what you went through nor your choices. You did what you had to protect your baby, I know I am just pregnant but I could understand that. So, Tatt coming in and taking your kid in a situation you weren’t prepared for and the fact he knows about her dark past without you wanting him too freaked you out. It’s a lot to be surprised with.”
I sighed, placing the tea cup on the table, “That’s a way to put it. I told him I don’t need a biker to come in and try to save me or think of me as a case for him to understand and fix. I have been protecting my daughter for years. I don’t need a man to come in and protect me. But then he just responds that he’s a tattoo artist not one of the bikers who works those cases.” I added an eye roll from his complete opposite actions. “yet there he went going off finding it all out, ignoring me and him. Can’t help but wonder if any of it was real.”
Serenity nodded, “can I say something honest?”
She smiled softly, “if he thought of you as just a case he would have done the search and forgotten about you and your girl when he saw your husband is dead. Chances are, Tatt has no idea what he is doing and is going crazy trying to figure it out himself. All he knows is for some reasons he has to make sure you and Sienna are okay, more than okay every second of the day. Tatt is a good guy, I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t think he was. But I think you have been in survival mode for the past ten years and letting someone in close to peek into you is terrifying. And Tatt has been having club girls for years and as far as I know his parents abandoned him as a kid. He doesn’t know how to register this type of thing as being good and what steps to take.”
I let out a deep sigh hanging my head, “I can’t let anyone hurt Sienna again. I won’t let anyone hurt her and if I get hurt how can I protect her. I was just going to tell him when I found out about this all.”
She placed her hand on top of mine, giving a small squeeze, “hey Tatt would never let anything happen to your little girl, you can’t move on from your past without taking a chance on a new life. That’s not just a hot piece of ass, he has a heart of gold and he may be something great for you and Sienna. And if he screws it up, again, me and my pregnancy hormones will take him out.”
My head went back with a laugh ridding me of the stress and bad memories that have been pushing against my mind, “he does make me smile, and Sienna loves him. She hasn’t stopped talking about Tatt coaching her as she took down that biker. And she has been drawing designs for his tattoo parlour all week. But he is also serving a crime punishment at my barn.”
“Next time you see him ask him why he got that assault charge and talk things out with him. You can’t fight feelings trust me I tried and now I am knocked up. He knows your history, make him tell you his.” She added a wink with that.
We talked a couple more minutes, her telling me about her job and how she met with Hunter. It was then that my phone rang showing me it was Sienna’s school.
“Hi this is Principle Macy from Sunrise Elementary school. I am afraid your daughter has gone missing on her field trip.”
I felt the cup drop from my hand shattering on the floor as my eyes widen in horror.
“What do you mean missing!?”