The worst nightmare for a parent is for something to happen to their child. I have lived that nightmare for years but I thought she was safe, school was where she could be safe away from me.
Then now here I was speeding to where the Riders of Silence clubhouse is terrified that something has happened to my baby girl. tears slide down my cheeks replaying the call from Tatt saying Sienna was with him. How did she even get there? Sure, she saw their patches at the party the other night but how did she know where to go? That Tatt would even be there? She knows better to walk into unknown places and she walked into a MC clubhouse? What happened for her to run off from the field trip and walk into the Riders of Silence. I need to get the emotions out now, so I can be calm when I see her.
As my car pulled into the lot I chose a random spot ignoring some kid in a leather vest who was shouting at me before jumping out not even sure if I turned off the car before sprinting to where my daughter is.
Reaching the doors, which I hoped were the right ones, I threw them open seeing Sienna sitting on a bar with Tatt’s leather cut as a Hunter was in front of her groaning, handing her a could dollar bills. Wiping under my eyes I took a deep breath so I don’t come in looking crazy as I walked to her who looked like she has been here before and didn’t just run away from school.
“Mommy! I have made fifty bucks today.” Sienna said looking to me swinging her legs over the bar showing me a stack of dollars. “Oh, and guess what!! Spotter owns the cabin by our property and he says I can build my clubhouse on the line, he is helping me draw plans.”
I couldn’t help the relieved smile as I walked quickly to her as she held up a piece of paper with blueprints to her, I guess, future treehouse. Once I was finally in front of her I wrapped my arms around her tight needing to feel that she was safe in my arms and that nothing horrible happened to her. At this moment, it was her and I; there was no MC clubhouse nor MC members around us.
Pulling away I looked at her.
She looked perfect.
Her braids were still the same as when I did them earlier. She was wearing a giant shirt with a motorcycle on, must be one of the men’s, then there is Tatt’s cut. Most importantly she had a smile on her face and her eyes showed her happiness.
She was safe, utterly and completely safe.
“You okay?” I signed to her only wanting it to be her and me at the moment while I could finally take a real breath of air.
“Yes.Are you mad at me for running away?” She signed losing her smile.
Poking her cheek, I shook my head before signing back, “No Sweetie I am not mad at you, just glad you are okay. We will talk later about what happened, okay?”
“Okay.” Her smile reappeared letting a puff of air come out of my mouth.
“Hey.” I turned seeing Tatt leaning against the bar with a hesitant look on him making every emotion about him come back. This was not the time for us to talk.
“Hi.” I wrapped my arms around Sienna getting the smell of Tatt from his cut that is around her, its small keeping me calm in front of him. “Thank you for calling me. I had just gotten a call from the school about her missing and was about to go Godzilla over the city to find her.”
He smiled softly, “would liked to have seen that. And of course, always here for the little darlin’. Her batteries died in her hearing aid and she thought she saw Josh.”
I glanced down at Sienna who was busy signing to the man behind the bar as my heart stopped at the thought of the terror she felt. “Kay…” Looking back at Tatt I took another deep breath, “no wonder she ran. I’m glad you were here.”
“Were you?” he asked raising his chin.
My hands ran through Sienna’s hair as I looked at Tatt, “I’m still mad at you for the background check. But I do know you wouldn’t have let anything happen to Sienna, so yes I am.”
He let out a sigh shaking his head, “I shouldn’t have done it. You said your past was dead and I ignored you, going behind your back to find your secrets. I just don’t know how to think straight when it comes to you and Sienna.”
I went to say something back but slowly turned my head to the left seeing a few brothers drinking coffee, eating breakfast and watching us with interest. “Oh, don’t mind us as you two were.” One of them responded, the name ‘Hamlet’ on his cut.
Tatt growled under his breath, “don’t you fu- brothers have anything you should be doing? Like work?”
They all just smirked shaking their heads saying ‘no’. Hamlet just gave a shit eating grin, “your right there is something I could do.” With that he got up making me confused as he went to the bar grabbing a chalkboard writing something before hanging it up behind the bar.
Raven. L-, F-.
I cocked my head raising a brow, “Why did you put my name on that board? And what’s the L and F with dates below? That better not be something about me being a whore?”
Hamlet kept his big grin shaking his head, “nope not anything to do with that well I guess-.” He was stopped from saying anything more as another brother hit his stomach.
Tatt just groaned looking to Sienna, “I got to go to work little darlin’, want me to take you to your mom’s car.”
My little girl nodded letting Tatt pick her up nodding his head to me to walk out, flipping his brothers off as he walked out of the room. Their laughter following us as we went to where my car is. I didn’t pay much attention to that as the sight of Sienna wrapping her arms around Tatt so relaxed just pulled at my heart.
“Want to tell me what that was?” I finally asked once we arrived at my car and I could shake away the emotions of them together. Tatt kissed Sienna on the top of her head as she hugged him before she was placed back onto the ground letting her climb into the truck.
With her in the car Tatt looked to me, “it’s a long story. Nothing bad I swear.”
“Mhm.” I said shifting on my feet look down at my boots noticing where seams getting loose.
“Go on a date with me.” Tatt said making me snap my head up with an open mouth, “I can’t get you out of my head Raven, let me take you out and make up the pain I have caused you. Birdy can watch Sienna and she will be safe with her I swear. Hunter will be there too.” Tatt took a step forward, his hands coming up around my face and no matter how I should have turned away I couldn’t step away from his hold on me. “Give me a chance to explain myself, I need to explain myself.”
I really should say no, to not risk myself or sienna, “when?”
What? that wasn’t no. Step away!
His thumb ran over my cheek bone as he smiled. “Tonight. My last appointment should be over at seven. Birdy and Hunter can watch Sienna at your barn so you feel comfortable that she’s at her own home.” I could see the glint in his eyes that begged me to say yes, and the dare to try to say no.
“Okay. If they don’t mind I would love to go out with you to talk about everything.” I whispered. He took a step closer to me brushing his lips softly on my cheek before stepping back and opening the door for me to get it.
“Drive safe oh and wear pants we are taking my bike.” With that the dam biker gave a wink before closing my door and walking away. Well at least he gave me back some of that carefree attitude of his making me smile.
It took me a second to watch him disappear in the clubhouse before my mind cleared up from the fog of his lips on my cheek. One kiss and I turn into a puddle. Shaking my head, I let Sienna choose the music as I drove away, heading back to the barn.
Pulling up to a stop sign I took a sigh glancing back at Sienna who was humming along to the song on the radio letting me chuckle and look forward again knowing that she is safely with me.
My heart stopped when I saw a man. No, he can’t be.
Yet he looks just like him?
I watched his head explode.
Brains scattered the room you can’t survive that!
My heart beat quickly, my body felt cold, sweat slid down my forehead, no breath filled my lungs. Everything around seemed to disappear but the one man who was standing for away looking in a different direction.
He looks so similar, almost exact to what Josh looks like just older, greyer.
I have read that trauma can create paranoia. I was paranoid that Josh would rise from the dead for the past two years after his death. It’s just part of the fear and hold he had on me.
The year after his death was the worst. Every day I questioned if it was all a dream and I would wake up with him beating me. Didn’t make it easier that I would see his father or brother around. No don’t go down this road.
A honk behind me made me jump in my seat noticing the light was now green. I quickly turned back to where the man was but saw another in his place who looked no way near similar.
Shaking my head, I began driving again, paranoia that’s what this is. Sienna running away, saying she did because she thought she saw a man liker her father and now I have a date with Tatt to talk away us or something I don’t even know what will happen.
Holy shit I am going on a date with Tatt?!
Forget my trauma paranoia how the hell am I going to prepare for that. Mentally and physically.